My GF turned Vegan all of a sudden and I am omnivore. She wants Vegan Kids and I

1. 53

   whodat1posted 13 years ago

   My GF turned Vegan all of a sudden and I am omnivore. She wants Vegan Kids and I do not? Any advice?
   
   I have been with my GF for 2 years and was already getting ready for marriage, she is the love of my life!! She all of a sudden turned herself and her 6 year old son Vegan. I am not Vegan, completely opposite (omnivore)  and I am also a Chef trying to open my restaurant. We currently had a argument about how we would raise our kids and I am willing to compromise and teach them both vegan and non vegan plus I have also accepted to purchase all Organic Products to support her new lifestyle, but she does not like that idea, she wants to raise them 100% Vegan. Anyone have advice for me?

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2. 59

   wkhigleyposted 13 years ago

   While I'm not sure how to advise you on handling it within your relationship, I can throw in my 2 cents on the vegan and organic stuff.  While vegetarian and vegan diets done right can be fine for adults, kids need more balanced diets with certain fats, vitamins, and proteins that aren't easily found in strictly vegetarian and vegan diets. While vegan kids do tend to have less problems with obesity, they also have more problems with nutritional deficiencies and slowed development. Here's a decent video about some of the problems, though not specifically about kids or veganism:
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29PUNDYK … nqa9Hw0%3D
   
   As for the organic bit, why does she want organic? There isn't any actual benefit to it. It's less efficient farming that means less food produced per acre(seems irresponsible when there's so much starvation in the world), costs more, and offers no benefit in exchange for these downsides. People often say organic foods are simply better tasting, but those claims have repeatedly been shown to be purely the result of bias/placebo. I've heard other people cite concerns about the pesticides used on non-organic crops, though organic crops aren't any better in that respect either. In fact, the pesticides used on organic crops are often more likely to be a problem because they need to be used in larger amounts. The pesticides used on non-organic crops is carefully tested and regulated and entirely safe. People are normally just scared by problems found with pesticides that have been used in the past and discontinued. If she's worried about GMOs, I would point you to this video by the same guy:
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzTECVk8 … =endscreen

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3. 0

   Giselle Maineposted 13 years ago

   I agree that it is concerning that she wants to have the kids be vegan - it can be really, really quite hard for kids to get the protein and iron they need from a vegan diet. Even most ADULTS would have a hard time eating the large volume of spinach that would equate to the amount of iron available in just a small amount of meat.
   
   I don't see why she isn't willing to compromise with your great-sounding idea of exposing the kids to vegan and omnivore diet - e.g. having vegan meals sometimes and having meals with meat in them other times.  I do feel it is unfair when people push a 'restrictive' diet onto kids (who don't really get a say in the matter). 
   
   Would it be possible for you and her to see either a pediatrician (to get a qualified medical opinion for the kids) or go to a nutritional counsellor? Her issue may be a 'quantification' issue where she honestly doesn't realize exactly HOW MUCH beans, spinach, etc someone would have to eat to get enough protein and iron in their day.  There are a lot of vegans and vegetarians who don't bother looking at exactly how *much* of certain foods are required to have a balanced diet.  Many vegans think, oh spinach has iron in it, beans and peas have protein.  But they don't look at HOW MUCH they would need to eat of it... they just think that if they eat a bit of spinach and a bit of beans they are OK.  That is not true. So try asking her to calculate out how much of what types of foods she would need the kids to eat.... she may realize how hard it really is to have a balanced vegan diet, espcially for kids!
   
   As an example of this approach, my sister had low iron and was trying to increase it (while on a vegetarian diet).  I suggested she look at how MUCH iron she was taking in on her diet, by comparing how much % daily iron values on the nutritional info of stuff she was eating (on most food labels, or you can find it on the web for fruits & veges).  I said that ideally she would want a diet that gives her 100% daily iron values, or ideally be above 100% if she wants to increase her iron levels.  She thought that was a good idea, and calculated how much iron she was actually getting.  A few months later, I called up to ask how she was doing.  She told me she actually went back to being an omnivore after realizing how hard it was to get enough iron on her vegetarian diet!

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4. 59

   okaygraceposted 13 years ago

   Sounds like your girlfriend has turned into one of those cultist vegans that think they know the best way to live and everyone else is an idiot for not living like they do.
   
   If this is the only problem in your relationship, I would just let it go for now and see what happens in the future. If she changed her mind this quickly to become a Vegan, she will probably change her mind in the future as well.
   
   You have 1-2 years at least before you have a new child and it is old enough to even be able to eat meat so there is plenty of time to work things out. No sense in ending a good relationship over something so trivial such as food.

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5. 59

   liftandsoarposted 13 years ago

   Methinks you have a bigger issue than a vegan girlfriend.  She'll be pushing back on both your professional life and what you believe to be best for your kids.  That could get old pretty fast.
   
   What does her attitude reveal about her respect for you?  These life changes have consequences. The one here might be that she looses you.  Better to loose you than to have you and be in constant conflict.

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