Does abuse on any level need to be forgiven to be able to move on and why?

1. 78

   Charluposted 12 years ago

   Does abuse on any level need to be forgiven to be able to move on and why?
   
   Do you have any experience in this area that your willing to share, whether it be knowledge, work related, or personal?

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2. 0

   msorenssonposted 12 years ago

   Erase and replace. What you focus on expands...therefore, forgive, and forget and don't go there again, and when you see signs of it, immediately turn your attention to something nicer..

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3. 60

   writtenbylvposted 12 years ago

   I have found that in order to have peace of mind and joy in your heart, you must learn to forgive anyone that has done anything that keeps you from moving forward in life with a positive energy and attitude.  I have been able to move on after I grieved for many years, due to the loss of my oldest son, who was murdered, but not nearly as many years as it would have taken, had I not forgiven the person up front, who took his life.  I hope this helps, and many prayers to you and your family.

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   jaswinder64posted 12 years ago

   I know forgiveness is not easy, but we have no choice, because if we remember that person who abused us in past, we are not living happy by remembering that moment again and again. I know with my own experiences, how I used to be so negative, remembering every person said something to me, but now its better. I can forgive somebody with the help of meditation. So try to forgive, it is beneficial for you not somebody else.

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   reeltaulkposted 12 years ago

   Any type of abuse I believe, especially when one is conscious of it is unforgivable.  If you learn to love yourself you can move on to appreciate you.  Appreciate what you've overcome and focus on where you want and need to be.  Some people feel they need to forgive others in order to move on.....I have spoken my peace concerning that and will say no more because if that truly works for some people.....so be it.  To stand by and wait on someone to do something is a crab cranker.  I know it is easier said than done, but it's best to move forward even if you have to do it on your own.

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6. 60

   smzclarkposted 12 years ago

   Every experience has it's own story. I can understand why some people are unable to forgive and why others feel it's necessary even when everyone around them believes them to be a fool.
   
   I experienced some abuse from my baby's father. After a long break/temporary restraining order (with him having some time to think and sort himself out) I have forgiven him. If I hadn't; not only would he have to live with the resentment, but my daughter would have to live with me resenting her father and I would've had to live with resentment in my heart...never good for a peaceful life!
   
   (wikipedia: If you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit of mind...)
   
   She now sees her father sometimes and I truly believe that he would never do anything to her; but I do keep my eyes very wide open. I never had problems with him while he was sober and he stays sober while she's in his care (we don't allow sleepovers) because he knows how important it is to do so.
   
   I think that forgiveness is important; if not for the abuser---the victim certainly deserves a clear mind. My advice, is to never forget so as never to make yourself vulnerable enough to be put through it again.
   
   However, Forgiving, forgetting and going back to normal is likely to welcome more abuse. If in a relationship, the victim needs to get out of it asap. The abuser needs to know that the victim is not afraid to leave. However, some people can change. The ones who are willing to admit they were wrong and take themselves straight to anger management/AA meetings/rehab/counselling---those that are willing to do whatever it takes to prevent it from happening again after the first time have hope. But the ones who turn it all around are rare noone should live in fear. The victim also needs to find a way to increase their confidence through counselling/therapy/self defence classes...again; whatever it takes...and not to go through it alone!!!

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7. 61

   suebee62posted 12 years ago

   I do believe that in order to move on, we need to forgive, not saying we have to forget.  Not forgiving breeds anger, hate, unable to trust and love.  If we can't forgive, how will we find peace?  Things happen to good people all the time, things happen to bad people to, well, I should say things happen to those who make right and wrong choices..I was abused, all my life, not by my dad or mom...had great parents...I became a shell, built a wall, wouldn't let anyone get close to me and when I chose to face or admit what had happened and realize I was not to blame and experienced the love of God and the love of those who wanted in my life, I began to heal...I also forgave my abuser....not forgetting or ever trusting....but forgiveness is a very freeing feeling.....

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