Does abuse on any level need to be forgiven to be able to move on and why?

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. Charlu profile image80
    Charluposted 6 years ago

    Does abuse on any level need to be forgiven to be able to move on and why?

    Do you have any experience in this area that your willing to share, whether it be knowledge, work related, or personal?

  2. msorensson profile image70
    msorenssonposted 6 years ago

    Erase and replace. What you focus on expands...therefore, forgive, and forget and don't go there again, and when you see signs of it, immediately turn your attention to something nicer..

  3. writtenbylv profile image58
    writtenbylvposted 6 years ago

    I have found that in order to have peace of mind and joy in your heart, you must learn to forgive anyone that has done anything that keeps you from moving forward in life with a positive energy and attitude.  I have been able to move on after I grieved for many years, due to the loss of my oldest son, who was murdered, but not nearly as many years as it would have taken, had I not forgiven the person up front, who took his life.  I hope this helps, and many prayers to you and your family. smile

  4. jaswinder64 profile image59
    jaswinder64posted 6 years ago

    I know forgiveness is not easy, but we have no choice, because if we remember that person who abused us in past, we are not living happy by remembering that moment again and again. I know with my own experiences, how I used to be so negative, remembering every person said something to me, but now its better. I can forgive somebody with the help of meditation. So try to forgive, it is beneficial for you not somebody else.

  5. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 6 years ago

    Any type of abuse I believe, especially when one is conscious of it is unforgivable.  If you learn to love yourself you can move on to appreciate you.  Appreciate what you've overcome and focus on where you want and need to be.  Some people feel they need to forgive others in order to move on.....I have spoken my peace concerning that and will say no more because if that truly works for some be it.  To stand by and wait on someone to do something is a crab cranker.  I know it is easier said than done, but it's best to move forward even if you have to do it on your own.

  6. smzclark profile image59
    smzclarkposted 6 years ago

    Every experience has it's own story. I can understand why some people are unable to forgive and why others feel it's necessary even when everyone around them believes them to be a fool.

    I experienced some abuse from my baby's father. After a long break/temporary restraining order (with him having some time to think and sort himself out) I have forgiven him. If I hadn't; not only would he have to live with the resentment, but my daughter would have to live with me resenting her father and I would've had to live with resentment in my heart...never good for a peaceful life!

    (wikipedia: If you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit of mind...)

    She now sees her father sometimes and I truly believe that he would never do anything to her; but I do keep my eyes very wide open. I never had problems with him while he was sober and he stays sober while she's in his care (we don't allow sleepovers) because he knows how important it is to do so.

    I think that forgiveness is important; if not for the abuser---the victim certainly deserves a clear mind. My advice, is to never forget so as never to make yourself vulnerable enough to be put through it again.

    However, Forgiving, forgetting and going back to normal is likely to welcome more abuse. If in a relationship, the victim needs to get out of it asap. The abuser needs to know that the victim is not afraid to leave. However, some people can change. The ones who are willing to admit they were wrong and take themselves straight to anger management/AA meetings/rehab/counselling---those that are willing to do whatever it takes to prevent it from happening again after the first time have hope. But the ones who turn it all around are rare noone should live in fear. The victim also needs to find a way to increase their confidence through counselling/therapy/self defence classes...again; whatever it takes...and not to go through it alone!!!

  7. suebee62 profile image60
    suebee62posted 6 years ago

    I do believe that in order to move on, we need to forgive, not saying we have to forget.  Not forgiving breeds anger, hate, unable to trust and love.  If we can't forgive, how will we find peace?  Things happen to good people all the time, things happen to bad people to, well, I should say things happen to those who make right and wrong choices..I was abused, all my life, not by my dad or mom...had great parents...I became a shell, built a wall, wouldn't let anyone get close to me and when I chose to face or admit what had happened and realize I was not to blame and experienced the love of God and the love of those who wanted in my life, I began to heal...I also forgave my abuser....not forgetting or ever trusting....but forgiveness is a very freeing feeling.....


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)