Why do people feel like they have no friends even if they do have friends and people there for them?
The point is they cannot connect or feel really comfortable sharing things that they want to share with the people around them. This is the point where they feel like they have no friends. There may be too many friends, but they may not be available to you when you actually want - either when you want to share something that is pushing your mood up or down or when you want some help to do something. It is basically depression, sadness, helplessness, etc. Having people all around you and when them not being with you in the time you need them the most makes you feel so.
It's the same feeling as being in a crowded room and yet one feels alone. As Neetaur stated if you don't feel "comfortable" sharing or opening yourself up to the people you know then deep down you will always feel like no one understands/gets you. Most people wear a mask to conceal problems they may be dealing with.
The reason this happens is because most of us want others including (family and friends) to believe we have it "together". When people are having a hard time they actually find it easier to bond with others who are also going through same issues. While friends and family may be able to empathize it's the same people who are walking in your shoes that you are more comfortable sharing your fears, ups, and downs with. This probably explains why a lot of friendships are born out of attending "group therapy" and other workshops/seminar environments. Some people however don't want to be open with groups either and may prefer having one on one sessions with a therapist where they lay out their feelings in a room confidentially. It's the people who never find any outlet to "stand in their truth" that tend to shock us with suicide. Friends and family feel guilty for not knowing they were in trouble. However the truth is the person did not want them to know. Each of us gets to choose who we want to open up to.
Hmmm..maybe because they feel as if the friends aren't there for them every time they need them. Sometimes friends are there for you only at their convienience which makes them feel neglected as if no one really cares. Some friends also have a tendency to judge or try to control the other person's life in some aspect. Being a good listener may be just what the person needs, but instead they are only getting reprimanded for things they choose to do or not do.
I've known several individuals who continually announce that they "have no friends" when, in fact, I know otherwise. I've seen the amount of attention their friends offer them, and have witnessed some pretty impressive sacrifices their friends have made for them. My own assessment has been that the "I have no friends" contingent simply like to be identified with the self-sufficient loner, and are proud (in a dysfunctional way) of being friendless (even though that's not accurate). They often like to point out how they are independent and how they are not followers, and the "friendless" folks consider this a point of pride -- even though it's something of an affectation.
Interestingly, many of the people I've known who fit into this category are prone to self-sabotage. They often fear failure and success, including social success, and they fear committed relationships. As such, they deliberately sabotage their social life as well. That way, they can blame their lack of success on their own deliberate actions, rather than committing to succeeding only to fall short (in which case they'd have to take responsibility for the failure). They can blame their aloofness and inability to maintain healthy relationships on the fact they choose not to have friends (or not to label people in their life as such).
I've also seen some very emotionally-needy people claim they have no friends. It's a way of putting down those very people who are there for them and playing the part of the victim. Similar to the "proud loner" type I mention above, these individuals are unable to cope with the concept they might be responsible for any shortcomings in their life -- so they continually blame others (or the absence of them). Eventually, by not giving credit or appreciation to their very real friends, the friends get worn out and fade away -- creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Forming strong and healthy friendships is one of the most meaningful and important things we can do for ourselves and for others. It's a shame there are so many people who consider it a point of pride to avoid doing exactly that.
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