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Is it difficult to accept praise, fearing an ulterior motive, are we becoming too cynical?
When a friend told her husband recently that he was looking really hot, his immediate response were 'ok how much did you spend on new shoes?
"[As] the fining pot for silver, and the furnace for gold; so [is] a man to his praise." (Pro 27:21)
Praise can be a snare:
"Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess [him], lest they should be put out of the synagogue: For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." (John 12:42-43)
John, the most beloved disciple of Jesus, said, "I receive not honour from men." (john 5:41)
Accepting praise can be bad!
Break to pattern! When you praise your partner, offer genuine praise without condition. Present the praise as if presenting a gift. Extend it with genuine intent. This will remove any perception or concern of ulterior motive...
B.T.W. Nice shoes!
Some of us have reason to be cynical and it's not easy to trust that people are genuine. I used to work with a women who would always say, curiosity question which usually meant she was questioning if I was doing my job right. I ended up getting another job and a women there asks the same question but because she is curious and not trying to cause trouble. Yet I find myself on defense the moment I hear her say that. It's not fair I know and I have to remind myself, take a deep breath and listen to her though it isn't easy changing my automatic response.
Whether people want to admit it or not, the MAjority usually has an ulterior motive when giving "praise". Most folk feel that they have you right where they want you by doing a nice jester or giving a compliment. It's like lets play the read between the line games. I mean come on who has time for that, it's just silly, especially people who praise people thinking that they have contributed to making their day! People who aren't driven by attention and praise usually know and appreciate sincere folk. When someone is sincere with their praise you can feel it. It's like a warm soothing hug and brightens up the room like an amazing smile. Whether you want to believe it or not "praise" is like an achilles heel so to speak and those that are crafty know this
lol@ man from modesto..... Praise can be a snare.
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