Should you give your boyfriend/girlfriend money for their bills, if they need it?
If you're in a committed relationship, but not married, should you financially support your partner if they need it, especially if there are plans on marriage?
Only if you trust that person. You are a partnership and should support each other. It shouldn't be one way however, and your partner should never rely on you or take advantage financially to pay their way.
It really comes down to the two people involved. Watching any of the so-call daytime court shows on television you will see many cases where exes are in court. One person claims the money given was a "loan" and the other person claims it was a "gift".
The vast majority of people we date or enter into relationships with seldom lead to marriage. It's also been said that 50% of marriages end in divorce.
Keeping this in mind you might want to draw up a promisory note if it's a "loan" and have the boyfriend/girlfriend sign it. Be careful about "volunteering" money to someone who did NOT ask for it. (After the breakup they will be sure to remind you of that). I can't tell you how many times someone calims a gift (became a loan)AFTER they dumped someone. Suddenly the "giver" feels used after learning they were being cheated on or whatever. Last but not least don't give away money that you (need). Even if it is a loan make sure in your mind that you will be fine financially if the person doesn't keep their word. "I'll pay you back when I get my income tax refund....etc" Refuse to become a human ATM.
Bottom line any money given in a relationship is (an investment) in that relationship. If it doesn't work out then you write it off as an bad investment. From what I have observed it seems women have a harder time adopting that philosophy than men. Odds are if you do get married you're not going to be paid back either! :-)
No, absolutely not. A relationship should not be maintained by lending money to each other or the source of relationship should not be based on money. This is purely unhealthy wherein the two parties deal in exchange of money or try to bring happiness in each other's moments with the help of money. It is most of the time seen that a relationship that starts with the need of money or which helps to overcome the short and the long term financial needs, love sooner or later would surely not exist around with them. .
I just recently gave my boyfriend $200 in cash which he states he has lost. He asked me to look for the money in my house, yard and garage - - so far no money. I have given him money in the past and he is repaying by doing home repairs - - he is slow to get any repairs done and I hesitate to say the least in giving him more money.
There is no absolute response because it depends if you two help one another, split bills, etc. My general answer to this question is NO in most cases. There are situations that do come up unexpectedly but whatever the choice a discussion needs to take place so both parties are clear on expectations.
Absolutely especially when they are in a serious relationship with wedding plans.
We live together so yes the expectation is he gives me his share of money for the bills.
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