What can be done to better raise awareness on the issue of Domestic Violence?

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   MsLoftonposted 12 years ago

   What can be done to better raise awareness on the issue of Domestic Violence?

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   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   I'm not sure if there is a way to increase awareness. Right now it's up there with cigarette smoking; people know it's bad but they keep on doing it. Anyone who is being abused need only do a couple of google searches to find a shelter or some type of assistance. Everyone is also aware they can call the police by dialing 911.
   The real problem is figuring out how to get someone to raise their self-esteem to a point where they will walk out of a relationship for good (the minute) they see their mate has a violent temper whether it's hitting a wall or hitting them.
   Each of us gets to choose (our own) friends, lovers, and spouse. Unfortunately the government can't stop someone from making bad choices in their personal lives. I have actually heard a woman state: "I like my men to have some thug in them."  Some people confuse violence and jealousy with passion and love. They'd be bored without the drama. This explains why it's common for victims of domestic violence to have a pattern of entering into these types of relationships.
   
   We can punish the abuser, force her or him to go to anger managemet classes, issue restraining orders and so forth. However the person who needs the most help mentally is the person who doesn't believe they deserve better or could do better when it comes to finding love. Last but not least it's not smart to initiate violence by slapping someone and (expecting not to get hit back). More often than you might imagine the person who gets beat down is the person who "started" the physical altercation. I've never understood the logic of throwing something at someone, slapping, scratching or following them from room to room yelling at them in an effort to get them riled up. And if it is a man who gets slapped/hit and he calls the police to file charges he is considered a whimp! There are no DV shelters for men! http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … -Hit-A-Man

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   MsLoftonposted 12 years ago

   Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed your answer..there are intact some shelters for men though. Being a survivor and a advocate for Domestic Violence, I can understand from many different angles. I advocate for men, women, and children. You are right that the person who is allowing themselves to be abused does need help but both of them need help. The abuser and the abusee. The problem with restraining orders is that they simply rarely work, there have been numerous people who have gotten restraining orders and their abusers still didn't leave them alone. Yes 911 seems the right way to go but depending on the type of officer you get, that may not help either. Some people do not have access to a computer or anything. Domestic violence is simply a form of control, some people are controlled to the point where they simply cannot do anything and if they try they are told they will be killed and their children(if they have any) they will be killed as well. I know a couple of people who have survived severe causes of Domestic Violence and never went back to the that person so it is possible to leave. and In my case I was not the one to start an altercation to get "abused" per say in return more often than you may imagine, it doesn't always happened like that and no matter who hit who first, we have to learn self-control and better ways to handle situations.

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      dashingscorpioposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      MsLoton, I agree with you that restraining orders are for the most part sheets of papers. I suppose all rule of law is to some extent. No two abuse cases are exactly a like. This contains a CDC study http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/jul/

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   nightwork4posted 12 years ago

   i think everyone is aware of it but part of the problem is people who are part of it need to stand up for themselves more. women or men who go back to spouses that abuse them are part of the problem and it drives me crazy. if you are being abused, leave and don't go back no matter what. if you can't get away, fight back hard. there isn't an abuser in the world who can stand up against a gun and just one shot in the leg will make them leave and never bother you again.

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      MsLoftonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      nightwork4 yes people going back to the person that is harming them is hard to understand for some and it takes a lot of courage to do but many abusers have a gun or some sort of control which can stop a person from leaving but it can be done.

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   cherriquinnposted 12 years ago

   Ms Lofton
   Hi. My work also involves supporting women and children fleeing domestic violence. Of course I am aware that men too are also victims ,but statistically speaking it is usually something which affects women more. It is a very complex area as I'm sure you're aware and often has alot of related issues. I don't think generally people understand how controlling the perpetrator can become to the point as you say, where the victims are helpless or have been psychologically damaged so much that they start to accept this behaviour as the norm. In my experience many of the women have attempted to leave on several occasions before actually making the final move. This has usually been when the abuse has turned onto the children or the real threat of that happening has become apparent. It is not just a matter of simply walking away as some think. There are many issues,too many to discuss here but I think at least domestic violence is now more recognised by the authorities as a cime and not just a 'tiff' between two individuals co-habiting. There is still a long way to go. Educating women and men on specific traits of an abuser can be helpful, as it is a form of power and control as you rightly point out. It is a deliberate act and there can never be any excuses.

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      MsLoftonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thank You Cherriquinn for your response. I agree with you I think many do not understand how controlling the perpetrator can be. I definitely agree that education women and men on specific traits can definitely be helpful.

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