Thank you HubMobsters for another great week. Last week's hubmob is the second one with most answers: 80 after the Toys hubmob and its awesome 117 Entries. You absolutely rock HubMobsters!
Last week after reading Laura du Toit's hub Celebrating Christmas with an abusive partner I realized that we completely missed the American National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so in response to Laura's plea to bring awareness to the subject, this week we are going to HubMob about relationship issues concentrating on domestic violence. Let's try to make a difference by bringing awareness to a topic that too often is kept behind closed doors. Domestic violence is one of the most under reported crimes despite one in every four woman estimated to experience some form of domestic violence during their lifetime, so let's try to make a difference HubMobsters. Information and awareness is the first step to stopping domestic violence.
Some ideas for a HubMob hub on domestic violence are:
What is domestic violence
Laws to protect women and children from domestic violence
What to do if you are a victim of domestic violence
Effects of domestic violence on children
Living with domestic violence
Shelters for victims of domestic violence
How to prevent domestic violence
How to regain self respect after suffering from domestic violence
Economic impact of domestic violence
To join this week's HubMob please follow the steps below:
1. YOU MUST START YOUR HUB CLICKING THIS LINK. Choose the Answer the Request green button. Choose the MAKE A HUB ABOUT IT option.
2. Choose a relevant title for your Hub to get a good ranking in the search engines, AVOID starting your title with "Weekly HubMob"
3. Include the HubMob RSS Feed in your hub: http://hubpages.com/question/25247/hubm … olence?rss . To add the RSS feed, click on the RSS link here which takes you to the RSS feed page, copy the URL from the top and paste it in a link capsule in your hub.
4. Add the HubMob graphic to your hub so that everyone who reads it will know that it is part of the official HubMob topic of the week. If you want you can also add the domestic violence poster from above.
5. After you publish your HubMob Hub, come back to the forum and post a link to your hub with a brief description of what you wrote about and why. Take advantage of the free publicity!
If you are still not sure about what is a HubMob and the benefits of taking part in one I created this guide What is a hubmob and how to join one please feel free to come up with any questions if you have any doubts left.
Princessa, is there an attribute for the domestic violence photo, should we decide to include it?
Hi Shirley, I took the poster from Laura's hub
"The posters used on the hub are available for use. Even if you just have posters printed and displayed in areas where people are busy with their Christmas shopping it may change someone's life."
Great, because I think it's a great mini poster! Thanks.
Here is the link to download the posters:
http://www.westlancsdc.gov.uk/council__ … paign.aspx
I did actually send an e-mail asking for permission to use the images when I did my hub but have not received as reply as yet. I decided to use them anyway as they provide the option of downloading them and as it is all for a good cause I'm sure they will not have any objections.
Firstly I am very pleased about the topic this week - the more awareness the better for those poor people living with abusive partners.
I have just finished a hub on the damaging effects that domestic violence has on children. It has already been published. Is there a way that I can include it in the hubmob for this week?
Sorry Laura, the rules are the rules and ALL hubmob hubs MUST be entered clicking on the ANSWER THE REQEST link.
You can always write a new one and link it back to that one and/or to any other hubs that you have in the subject
i happy to see that there are more people getting the message out about one of the worlds biggest problems it it part of all of our relationships one of the most important things that we as human beings can do is making the whole world aware of it through education & public awareness campanes keep up the good work mikemd3
here is the link : Living with Domestic Violence is Damaging our Children
http://hubpages.com/hub/Living-With-Dom … r-Children
I have the honor of publishing the first hubmob hub this week since my previous hub influenced the theme for this week.
How to Prevent Domestic Violence
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Prevent- … c-Violence
I'm in the same situation as Laura du Toit. Have published a hub for the mob topic and didn't start it from the link. Can it be fit into the mix?
Thanks for any help or advice.
Where to Get Help for Domestic Violence:
I just published this hub:
http://hubpages.com/hub/how-to-regain-s … c-violence
Now I'm not sure how to do the rss feed. Do I load a link capsule or an rss capsule? What URL code do I copy? And where is the hubmob forum? Is this it?
Sorry but it's my first hubmob hub.I'll soon learn.
For the RSS feed you need to use an RSS capsule. You have to paste the RSS url which is http://hubpages.com/question/25247/hubm … w/&rss
This is the hubmob forum. To come back you go to: Forums: The hubber's hangout: hubmob weekly topic. You need to come back here to post a link to your hub once it is ready and published.
Remember that for a hub to be part of the HubMob you MUST start your hub clicking on the ANSWER THE REQUEST link at the start of this thread.
I hope this helps.
The Silent Scream, a personal story
Did you notice that your Hub is featured on HubPages opening page?
Here's one -
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … u-A-Victim
Can I go back and change the category for some of my HubMob hubs?
For example, can I change my Toys HubMob hubs from the default: Games, Toys, Hobbies--> Toys
To: Games, Toys, Hobbies --> board games --> Children’s Board Games?
Could I have changed the default and classified as the latter initially?
I just went through an experience of domestic violence tonight, my house got destroyed and I got beaten..but the assaulter was not arested by either town cop who showed up because its his word against mine??????
I just dont get it, when I heard the 2 cops talking in private ( I wasnt supposed to hear this ) I know he did this to hr and her things, Is=ts just sad I cant actually prove it..
the assaulter is a perfect lier when the cops are involved...
so look forward, I may be starting a hub about this, the sad thing is Im disabled and what can I do..this was the first time I felt it coming, hid my keys and purse, and my cell phone..I have had to buy 12 cell phones this year because he knocks me down, ties my feet and breaks them so I cant get help..he is sadistic when he gets drunk and Im in a situation where Im just numb....he is actually back in the house, they made him leave for the night and I heard him sneak in an hour ago....
to be continued...and I live where thee are no payphones within any distance but 7 miles away and my neighbors are too far off to hear me scream for help,,he always does this them stops , strokes my hair, says he loves me, and continues his sick ways..and my cars, I have 2, each time he steals the batteries out before he starts in on me..
You need expert help immediately. I would even say that law enforcement may be a little fuzzy on the law. Heaven forbid it happens again, but if it does exaggerate your injuries if you have to and insist on being taken to the hospital and be checked out. Tell police something they can’t verify, but sounds like a liability if they don’t act. Say he hit your head or you think you hit your head and you have blurred vision, nausea and a headache. Say you have numbness in your hands and arms. Say you hit your back and have numbness in your legs. Then ask for a social worker at the hospital.
The very next time you have as much as 2 hours with your computer, phone and car, and without him, contact a social worker, lawyer or shelter and make your escape plan. Be prepared to leave on a moment’s notice with the clothes on your back. I hope you can remain safe until then.
Post in the family and relationships forum. I'm sure there are people there with more experience and better advice.
Yes, flee at the first opportunity. If you can't leave your address here and maybe some hubbers near you may cme to your rescue. You don't need him.
My mind is screaming with advice and all the things you have probably heard too many times before. Get out get out get out before he kills you. It will not stop it will only get worse.
Please take the good advice I am reading here.
One of my sisters lives with a bipolar man who is extremely controlling (we rarely see her)and given to long rants. She is in a similar situation because of her extremely debilitating fibromyalgia, prevents her working. He hasn't beaten her yet, but I am very afraid for her.
We have intervened in time of crisis twice and gotten her out but she was unable to make it on her own and went back (without telling anyone).
Another sister has just left a marriage that was becoming increasingly violent. My heart goes out to you - please feel free to contact me.
But if you have enough courage or desperation to hide your cell phone, then you can plan your escape!
The cost of leaving might be high, but losing your life because you "can't leave" should not be an option.
Do you not have to lay charges before they will actually arrest the assaulter. Where did he have to spend the night? How did they get him to leave for the night without arresting him? I'm just worried that this type of incident with the police will put people who are victims of domestic violence off calling the police for assistance. I'm so glad to see that you are handling the whole situation very well. - Saw you on the post" complete a poem a line at a time" just now.
Hope you manage to get to a place where you are safe!
Most of the time the abuser has alienated them from relatives and friends. Don't do what I did honey, get the F**K OUT. You say that you are disabled, so do you stay with him, because you think that there is no one else out there for you? If that is the only reason why as a matter fact there should be no reason why. You need to get out of there with your life. You say you have a daughter, if you live for no one else, live for her if not for your self.
God I feel like I'm ranting and raving, because I am. flash backs.
Listen to archdaw. Get the heck out of there, find someone somehow to take you in...there's got to be a domestic abuse hotline number in the front of your phone book, call that number. If for some reason there isn't, there might be a suicide hotline number who can refer you to some agency that will help. This is just in case there are no family or friends willing or able to help RIGHT NOW, TO-DAY!! THIS IS ONE SICK, SICK MAN!!!
Police may be ineffective in domestic abuse situations sometimes because possibly in rural areas they aren't properly trained to handle it.
In most states, the law gives the police no choice for the first night. IF there is any visible sign of one person hurting another, the one who inflicted the blow spends 24 hours in jail. This is to give the victim a chance to get away.
You have to get away, and you have to press charges. All the above advice is right. The violence will only escalate, you will suffer for a long time, and eventually he will kill you. Pain is not love. You say it is the first time, but that he ties you up and hurts you in other ways. You need to get away. You need to file charges. You need to fight for yourself.
Call a help line now.
O.k. here's number one for this week...
Teenage Intimate Partner Violence
http://hubpages.com/hub/Teenage-Intimat … r-Violence
It id not used to be like this, untill about 2 years ago..at one point I left for 6 months, but came back, he hd gone to a cound=selor, it was fine for about 1 mont, then it has gradually gotten worse, the past month noy a day goes by something little happens and every friday when my daughter goes out he has been tearing into me the past 2 months real bad, tonight took me by surprise, Im actually numb ..I have lost any feelings I had, I cant even have any emotions right now..I probly should not have sid anything, but I had to get this out, Im at the end of my rope, he will se whathe has done and it will be too late by then..I just have not decided how to make my first step, this is why its almost 3 am, Im fully dressed and up...
Dear BC Boutique, I pray for your safety. you live in Ohio right? Could you post your address here? Maybe if there is a Hubber who live near your place, maybe there is someone here that could visit you and help you. I'm not sure if this forum allow to share private information such as address but if we face a situation like this, maybe someone could help? I live thousand miles from you, I just only pray for you.
Hope you will survive BC Boutique, God Bless You
It does sound as though you need to get out. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
Please GO AWAY leave as soon as you can, don't let him destroy you. You are worth more than what you think and NO ONE has the right to treat you like that!
Aren't there any friends or members of your family who can help you? You can't do this on your own, you need help.
Just posted my first Hubmob ever. Hope I did everthing right.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-Bad-Relatio … elf-Esteem
TO ALL WOMEN WHO EXPERIENCE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
RUN!!! RIGHT NOW. AND DON'T LOOK BACK. Leave everything, and run for your life.
It will only get WORSE. Never gets better, especially if the assaulter is a drug addict or alcoholic. If it gets better, that's only temporary.
Do NOT have illusions that police or someone else will help you - your help is your friends and family, NOONE else. All that info in leaflets they give you is nothing, unless they really get you a 24-hour bodyguard (and they won't). I told the police some time ago - you don't do anything until you have the corpse, right? Officer, who I think had some sympathy to the situation I was in, corrected me - a corpse is not necessary, but hospitalisation might help...
So it's either YOU, or noone else. This is also the reason why you should do it. Requires courage, and the situation might seem to get worse after you do it, but it's the only way out. After you've gone through those first weeks, you'll look back and wonder why on earth you waited for so long...
Don't stop at anything, until you break the net. If you need - get the media into it, call 5-6 newspapers, TV channels - they tend to pick up on those stories. ANYTHING is better than constant fear.
And there is life out there, a different you.
Read a post by BC Boutique. Shocking.
I did a hub about this subject yesterday night (http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-violen … usal-abuse), and have been reading the other hubs on domestic violence as they've come out. The first-hand accounts are really harrowing.
The question "Why on earth do people stay in such relationships?" does crop up a lot when the subject of domestic violence is discussed. I've got an idea as to why; it's a bit controversial, but please bear with me! My theory is that at a deep, unconscious level, people who stay in violent relationships feel that however bad the treatment they experience gets, it's at least one step up from total indifference on the part of their spouse... it's a case of "the fact that he treats me this way shows that he cares about me, albeit in a warped way - it's better than him ignoring me." If this is true, then perhaps the reason for it stems back to lack of the right kind of attention during childhood.
Add to that the cunning techniques used by abusers to cut their partners off from friends and family (as described so vividly in some of the other hubs), plus the financial control as well, and perhaps it's not so hard to understand why domestic violence victims stay.
I don't think there's always such a "deep seeded" thing behind women's staying. Some would never guess they could lose custody of their children. Some know better. A social worker I know once said to me that this is one reason women stay.
This week Hubmob topic is really hard, this is mine :
Hi everyone, this is my first hubmob and am not sure if I did it right, mainly the RSS feed. I have no idea what I am doing with RSS even though it supposed to be "really simple"
At any rate here is my hub for this weeks hubmob.
I would appreciate if anyone could check it out to make sure that it was done right.
Hi, welcome to the HubMob
You are a HubMobster now. You did everything correct:
1)You started your hub answering the request
2)Added hubmob graphic and RSS feed
3)Posted a link to your hub in this forum thread
4)The most important thing: you wrote an interesting hub.
Thank you princessa for informing me that I did it right. I was kinda worried that I missed something. Now that I know though I'll probably do some more.
This topic really pulled my chain! It's been a few years since I revisited this experience - and it is good for me to do this. It is a reaffirmation!
Here is my hub on this week's topic
http://hubpages.com/hub/HOW-TO-GET-FREE … c-Violence
Thanks for sharing your experience with our readers!
Your RSS feed is not working properly.
Remember to order an RSS capsule and not a link capsule.
Highlight the link on the first paste and copy the link location into the RSS feed. Hope this works.
Here's the link for my contribution to this week's HubMob:
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … ristianity
Domestic Violence and Fundamentalist Christianity
which is about how a belief system can support domestic violence and make it harder for a woman who is subject to domestic violence to break away.
BC Boutique: I just got this info from Patty English's hubmob hub on where to get help for the victims of domestic violence:
USA: National Domestic Violence Hotline http://www.ndvh.org/
"Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your Internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a safer computer, and/or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224
Please, please, USE THIS INFO!
I know how hard it is to ask for help.
The first thing he does is charm you
The second thing he does is isolate you
The third thing he does is beat you, when it feels like it's too late for you to go back, to break away from him, and all your family and friends are gone.
Here is the first hubmob hub I wrote
http://hubpages.com/hub/how-to-regain-s … c-violence
This is my contribution for this HubMob, though I have written a few poems from my own experiences.
This one tackles a more pro-active approach to abusive relationships:
http://hubpages.com/hub/What-Are-the-Si … lationship
Hi Sue, I just read your hubs and noticed that it appears that the RSS feed is not working properly. Post to the forum if you need additional help getting them working.
hi Princessa..I have created an article about domestic violence. but dont know about RSS feed etc. I will just post it, am still learning about feeds and backlinking..
HI Princessa AND Sue
THIS IS THE REPLY I GOT ABOUT USING THE POSTERS
Many thanks for your enquiry; I work part-time, hence a slight delay in
replying. The posters are designed to provide information and support,
using them for this purpose poses no issues and for this reason you are
welcome to retain the numbers on them.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any further queries.
Domestic Violence Co-ordinator
West Lancashire Borough Council
Her is my first ever hubmob hub!
http://hubpages.com/hub/A-Domestic-Abus … mmys-Shame
I thought that this twist might point out the disparity between male and female abuse. Abuse can go either way but that is not always looked at and is not always treated with equal concern.
Here is my second HubMob ever and my 7th in the NovHubChallenge.
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Escalation- … c-Violence
Here is some help should you be living here in Canada
Thanks and stay safe
http://www.safecanada.ca/link_e.asp?cat … mp;topic=3
Here is my second hub on this week's topic:
Domestic Violence in the LGBT Community
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … -Community
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … r-Children
Break the chains for the sake of our children
24 hubs published so far, keep the good work coming HubMobsters, you are doing an excellent job!
Hi princessa, oh youre so pretty, am making article about verbal abuse as a form of DV, will post later today...
Thank you prettydarkhorse is a pic from a couple of weeks ago at a fashion show.
BTW that is a good idea for a hub. I am trying to come up with one too.
Just an update on the latest hubs featured on the Domestic Abuse category page http://hubpages.com/topics/gender-and-r … abuse/2079
Laura du Toit has a featured article and also featured are: prettydarkhorse, Money Glitch, Paradise7, RedElf, febriedethan and chenmikehk Congratulations!
I did not know that I had a featured article.
Thanks Princess for keeping us on our toes. Keep up the good work.
Thanks Princessa! I consider it an honor to be among such great writers as the ones mentioned above and for that matter everyone within the Hubber's Hangout. Everyone simply rocks!
That's quite a compliment, Money Glitch We're in good company in the HubMob! Thanks, Princessa
LOL, O.k. RedElf my being a newbie is showing. I guess I was stretching it a little too far out by saying the Hubber's Hangout, but I was trying to make sure I didn't leave anyone out. LOL! Thanks for the correction.
Sweetie, no correction intended! I just wanted to thank you. You are right - there are some great writers and wonderful people here in the HubMob, the Hangout, and all over Hub Pages. The longer I am here, the more I find. I am very grateful and flattered to be included in your mention!
Here's my little addition on child abuse...
http://hubpages.com/hub/child-abuse-and … c-violence
Well I have written a hub that I intended to write from the day I joined hubpages based on my own personal experiences of domestic violence. This hubmob topic spurred me on to finally get on with it, and you can read it here at:
http://hubpages.com/hub/The-True-Story- … -Victim-Me
Hey mistyhorizon so nice to have you around here. I am glad you finally wrote this hub, I always enjoy reading your hubs based on personal experiences.
mistyhorizon, it's good that you are able to tell your story. Many people have difficulty ever telling their story.
Thanks Princessa, and thanks for commenting on the hub itself
My contribution to hub mob weekly topic
Domestic Violence: An evil to be eradicated
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … eradicated
your comments are welcome.....
I don't know if this is too late or not, but...
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … n-Its-Wake
My first hubmob for this week.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … t-Men?done
I just noticed a broken link in chenmikehk's hub but when I click on it, it takes me to the actual hub. I have to reduce the number of hubs in my RSS feed. Can anybody tell me why there's a broken link?
I had no idea, Misty....glad you're here with us now to share this.
To all hubsters who write about abuse and domestic violence. My self-help book on escaping from abusive relationships Fear, Phobias and Frozen Feet, is now available on Amazon. I know I shouldn't do this, but could I ask you to please add my book into your Amazon capsule on your hub. I really do believe that it is of help to people in abusive relationships. Thanks so much! luv Cindy xxx
Having spent many tears writing this, I thank you for allowing me also to do it.
This has been a very healing experience for me. I pray it has been for others in need of it as well.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Domestic-Violen … y-mom?done
thank you HubMob
Thank YOU Kimberley for taking part in the HubMob, I am happy to hear that writing your hub has been therapeutic for you. I am sure that there are many HubMobsters who have also found putting their experiences in words a healing experience and that makes me feel that in a way I have helped you come to terms with your personal issues.
I want to thank you, and all the HubMobsters who have been brave enough to share their own personal stories. I know it is very difficult, but like you said it, it can also be a healing experience.
Congratulations to all Hubmobsters whose Hubs are being featured. Let's hope we reach the people who really will be able to benefit from this week's topic.
youre right Ms. laura, have any of your articles featured yet, have read two so far?
Well, Your hub is a featured hub Laura, congratulations, it is well deserved as it was your hub last week that brought the inspiration for this week's topic!
It was good while it lasted (without my knowing). I went to have a look when I saw your post and unfortunately it is no longer a featured hub. But I am sure I got a few extra hits while it was there.
There is a good chance that if it has been featured already it will be featured again during the following days so keep your eyes peeled
Congratulations on making the "featured hubs" Laura! And thank you for suggesting this topic for the HubMob this week. I get chills thinking about the fact that now anyone having internet access can pull up the HubMob topic on DV and get 40 or more stories on this subject. Hopefully, those that need that extra strength will find it here.
I congratulate everyone who wrote for this Hubmob. It's a difficult and very sensitive topic and very brave for the hubbers to tell their stories.
thanks ms flightkeeper, wrote 2 articles about it, it happened to my friend though..
Domestic Violence: Unnecessary Crime
http://hubpages.com/hub/-Domestic-Viole … sary-Crime
Here we go, my hubmob contribution - thanks Princessa! http://hubpages.com/hub/Cut-loose-from-the-abuse?done Now, back to NaNoWriMo!
I am submitting my first hubmob.
I have titled it "Looking Back on Growing up with Domestic Violence"
http://hubpages.com/hub/Looking-Back-on … c-Violence
I wanted to get even more in depth into this article but it has taken me 3 days to write what is now published.
This was an extremely hard article to write. It had me delve deep into the past to some places I have not traveled for many years.
Thank you for your topic. I hope that all of our articles together help spread the importance of this issue.
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