Does love exist?

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  1. profile image0
    L. Andrew Marrposted 14 years ago

    My friends always joke that I don't have a heart.

    There is a story going around that I dumped one of my ex's because she told me she loved me. It is true the two things happened to be at around the same time but also, people seem to leave out this fact, she was an absolute psychopath.

    She said;
    "I'd self harm if you ever left me."

    I said:

    And I left. No way was I ever going to stick around in a relationship where I was terrorised into staying with her.

    Apparently she never did self harm; instead she just spread rumours that I was a heartless b*stard around her school.

    Anyway, I don't know why I digressed into that.

    So yes, back to the question:

    I have never felt love, nor have I ever told someone I love them in the eros way - only in the agapeic sense. I am beginning to think that it is just a psychological condition some people have typing themselves to another member of the human race.

    This view could be because I am only 18 and still at school; who knows...anyway...

    What do you hubbers think?
    Surely love at first sight is just lust? Surely people who say they're in love after dating someone for three days are lying? Surely it is just an overwelming need for companionship?

    Is love real or just pointless pain?

    1. profile image0
      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      love is about trial and error for most people.  very seldom few meet the girl/guy they fall in love with right off the bat.  most of us usually have to date a lot of different people and suffer heart ache a lot, until you find the right person your most compatible with.  that's why they say love is so rare, and which might be the reason its all that much more special.

      however, to answer your question, yes i do believe in love, even though i have yet to find it myself to be quite honest.  my opinion is that love isn't something people know right away, it develops over time.  it starts off with mutual infatuation when you see a girl/guy that you think is attractive and enjoy being with.  then after spending a great deal of time with them like say over a year or so, give or take depending on the couple.  then those feelings of infatuation for each other develops and grows into love.  i could be wrong, but that's just my theory anyway. 

      as for love at first sight, your a 100 percent right on that.  outside of films, people who fall in love at first sight are often saying that out of lust more so than feelings.

    2. nigelking profile image61
      nigelkingposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have only recently understood the love I have

  2. Luciendasky profile image60
    Luciendaskyposted 14 years ago

    While I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying and think you are making very valid points... I would have to say yes, love exists...

    but I think it is something you have to work for and work on... I know what you mean about the lust and the feeling people... and I think that many forms of love will start out that way - but if the relationship (either between people who are dating or just friends in general) is worked on and people care for each other, it can grow into love.

    Surely there is someone (doesn't have to be someone you are interested in dating) that you care about very deeply and would do anything to help them if necessary??

    When it comes to "dating love" things can get sticky (my sister is marrying an abusive jerk she knew for 10 days before engaged) but that doesn't mean love doesn't exist ever.

  3. rebekahELLE profile image85
    rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

    yes, andrew, love exists. you're still young. when you feel it, you will know. not just a feeling, but a deep awareness.

  4. Cagsil profile image72
    Cagsilposted 14 years ago

    In my past experience, I say "Yes Love Exists!"

    The fact that you've not experienced it yet is not a real surprise.

  5. prettydarkhorse profile image63
    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    you will feel it and it will bring you so much joy, it will inspire you too

  6. tantrum profile image60
    tantrumposted 14 years ago

    Yes love exists ! The thing is that the two of you feel the same, at the same time.  and make it grow at the same time ,as well.
    Which seldom occurs, I'm sorry to say.

  7. KCC Big Country profile image84
    KCC Big Countryposted 14 years ago

    Most certainly love exists, but don't expect it to arrive all neat and tidy in a package with a pretty bow.  It'll jump up and bite you when it arrives and catch you totally offguard.

    I like your attitude about love.  You did the right thing to dump her and hopefully she'll get help before she ends up ruining a lot of years of her life and a few other's along the way.

  8. Bovine Currency profile image61
    Bovine Currencyposted 14 years ago

    It does if you say it so

  9. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Does love exist? I do not know.
    I wish that feeling would be something real, but at the same time I've lived long enough and did not feel it.
    There's plenty of lust and sometimes I get a crush on someone, but that's it. Then I just get bored and start having a secret wish to move on.

    When I was in late teens (18-19), I could give a very professional my own practice-based (well, always worked) advice to anyone how NOT to fall in love, not to lose your mind and keep it all in control. I felt immediately which man is "dangerous" to me and took appropriate action. I guess all this got into my blood finally, and now it would take someone very special to change it.

    But I still believe that EVERY FISH HAS ITS NET.

    1. profile image0
      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      wow, thats probably the best answer i heard on this forum

  10. Mrvoodoo profile image58
    Mrvoodooposted 14 years ago


    But I understand why it's such a desirable belief, and one that most people would do anything to cling to.

    Loneliness can be a terrible thing, and a little self-delusion can be a small price to pay to avoid it.

    1. Black Lilly profile image60
      Black Lillyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hm... Everything I've written on Hubpages goes around that - self-delusion of some sort.
      But you know what? I want that.
      And, like I wrote in one of hubs: I want that dizziness, feeling DRUNK WITHOUT ALCOHOL, when someone whom I like is near.
      That's the feeling to live for.

      1. Mrvoodoo profile image58
        Mrvoodooposted 14 years agoin reply to this

        Couldn't agree more.

        It's addictive, and if I have to lie to myself, and the person I 'love' to get that feeling, in time, no doubt I will (but not yet).

        I didn't believe in Santa for most of my childhood, but I was happy enough to play along if it got me some presents each year. big_smile

        I hope you get that dizzy feeling in your life again soon (even if it takes a little self-delusion to achieve it). wink

        1. Black Lilly profile image60
          Black Lillyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks wink
          It always involves a bit of self-delusion, especially with regards to intensity - haven't yet met anyone who could keep up with the level of intensity that I need.
          But - never say never.

          1. profile image0
            Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            the thing that sucks is, how long can you really keep it up? how long till reality sets in, and what have you lost, at what price does love come?

            1. Black Lilly profile image60
              Black Lillyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

              Honestly, not for long. Even few months can suffice I guess.
              That's not a price for love. That's just a selection of the person right for me.
              I have lost far more compromising on this rule.

      2. profile image0
        Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

        i think we all wouldn't mind having  a bit of happiness in our lives even if we knew that happiness wasn't necessarily true

      3. dave272727 profile image60
        dave272727posted 14 years agoin reply to this

        I couldnt agree more.  I hope that you find it, it is something magical to feel.  Love does exist in my humble opinion.

        1. Daniel Carter profile image63
          Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I do better with a love in my life than without. However, sometimes there needs to be space and sometimes you need to clear out your head and heart to find *you* again. I think that's where I'm at. Finding me again. Presently single.

          That being said, I think eros love will hit you soon enough. It will find you, Luke.

          1. myownworld profile image74
            myownworldposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            yes, love...but with 'space' to love is the best place to be in.....! wink

  11. myownworld profile image74
    myownworldposted 14 years ago love...and then to have it reciprocated with the same THAT is the real thing...! (the rest mostly amounts to crushes and infatuations that one just gets over pretty quick)

  12. profile image0
    Maximus591posted 14 years ago

    There is a science to love.

    Physical changes occur in the body when someone is in love. Pleasure chemicals are released in the brain. All this has been studied. So, yes does love exist.

    The only person who would ask 'Does love exist?' is someone who has never experienced love. That must be you.

  13. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

    It does.

  14. Hanna Bambina profile image60
    Hanna Bambinaposted 14 years ago

    Love exists; but it takes time and energy.

  15. Jonathan Janco profile image60
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Having felt this many a time at different levels of maturity, let me assure you that love does exist. Sometimes, it can have psychotic ramifications, which is why I always recommend being mentally sound to begin with if it can be helped. Love at first sight exists, too. You can tell the difference between that and lust because the feelings get progressively LESS intense after the initial meeting if it's lust, as opposed to more.

  16. prettydarkhorse profile image63
    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    Love is true, powerfule feeling,,,it can be felt, you know when you have it when you do things that you feel you cant do or havent done gives inspiration, hope and you want to become a better person

    Love can change the world and can destroy it too

  17. secondreview profile image61
    secondreviewposted 14 years ago

    Love exists in many forms and it's a different love for each person that means something to you.   The most powerful love is the flesh of my flesh, bones of my bones type of love that never dies.

  18. Brian Leighton profile image58
    Brian Leightonposted 14 years ago

    Yes, Love exists and unfortunately as part of human nature it is usually taken for granted until it is no more.

    Love should never be confused with Lust.

  19. manlypoetryman profile image79
    manlypoetrymanposted 14 years ago

    I think all things on the planet...needs to be scheduled for a tune-up or overhaul...depending upon the last time it was in for a check-up! big_smile

  20. Highvoltagewriter profile image66
    Highvoltagewriterposted 14 years ago

    I know that hate is real so that must mean that the Opposite emotion is also is sad that hate seems to be a emotion that is easiest to experience...I hate that about hate!(LOL) big_smile

  21. profile image0
    LEWJposted 14 years ago

    Yes, because the human heart does.


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