Is it important that you have the same belief with your partner or loved one?

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   alexandriaruthkposted 11 years ago

   Is it important that you have the same belief with your partner or loved one?
   
   There are couples with different religious affiliation or the other one is not a believer. How important is this in a relationship?

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   It is not important to have the same religious beliefs. So long as the two have mutual respect for each other then they would be fine. My husband is Christian, I am atheist. In the years we have been together it has never so much as caused an argument. All about respect.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      The Holy Bible warns us not to be unequally yoked...but I see you have other plans.

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      peeplesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You're right, I have a plan of living a happy marriage with the man who respects me no matter my beliefs. A better "Christian" than many who claim to be.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Better to stand for something...than to fall for anything.

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   SidKempposted 11 years ago

   Being in a successful interfaith marriage for over 25 years, I'll have to say, not very. Mutual respect allows for differences. And, as a result of our difference, we've been able to collaborate in conferences (and Hubpages Q&A) that support inter-religious understanding.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Is it really "mutual respect", Sid, or is it spiritual indifference or spiritual compromise?

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Absolutely mutual respect. We can't be indifferent - we're both passionate. And we don't believe in compromise. We share the life and joy of one another's faiths. For us, it's not about being right or wrong, rather living in love & growing in tru

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      What differing faiths do the both of you subscribe to?

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Primarily, I am a human being. I am a Buddhist minister, and a minister in an offshoot branch of Christianity. My wife is a Lutheran and a professor of Jewish Studies. She participated in my baptism, and I helped her learn to meditate.

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   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   I would say that if you really love one another enough to marry, then you can work out your different beliefs with good communication. Love can cross so many boundaries. Agree to disagree and let your love for your spouse take care of the rest.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Risky approach at best, Jeff. The Bible instructs us not to be unequally yoked. So, in this stead, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, especially when dealing with human relations of any sort.

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      JThomp42posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      What if you are really both in love with one another CJ?

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hope it's okay if I chime in, CJ & JThomp. I would agree with CJ that it's risky. But so is all Love. Jesus took risks sharing God's Love as a Jew, and Paul took risks to share that Love with pagan Romans and Greeks. You might read The Shared Hea

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      JThomp42posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      In my marriage we were both Christians and shared the same beliefs, went to church every Sunday. So, this wasn't an issue when it came to our divorce. Her dishonesty ended our marriage. So, two can yoke together and still fail. Unfortunately.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Perhaps the most important yoke is not our beliefs, but our keeping of the universal Truths of the Commandments. Not lying, not stealing, not committing adultery are all supports of a happy marriage, whether one learns them as a Jew, Xtian or Budhist

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Jeff...people can fall in love with just about anyone (at any time). All they need is opportunity. It is important to look beyond the warm emotion of "love" and scrutinize their character. You may have become one in marriage, but not in principle.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   As long as no one is trying to convert the other then it's not a problem. I consider myself to be "spiritual" and I have no interest in following organized religion. I'd rather cut out the (middle people) and deal with god one on one. :-)

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   Globetrekkermelposted 11 years ago

   Not at all.I am not a believer of any religious affiliation.So, it really does not matter to me what my husband affiliates himself with.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Is that completely true? If he became a neo-Nazi, a Stalinist, or an anarchist supporting bombings towards overthrowing the government, that "does not matter" to you?

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      Globetrekkermelposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry but  the question is pertaining to religious affiliation as asked in the question.the question is not about political  affilition as neo nazi  stalinist or anarchy. Big difference between the two.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I see your point. But if your husband became a religious pro-life advocate who believed in killing doctors who performed abortions, or a radical Muslim encouraging suicide bombers, what them?

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      Globetrekkermelposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Fortunately, my husband does not comment nor engage in  political and social discussions as neither topic is his interest. He is more focused on just  being helpful , being kind and compassionate to anyone.That's his main interest.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for not being offended by my question, GlobeTrekkerMel. Your husband sounds like the Dalai Lama, "My religion is kindness."

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      Globetrekkermelposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Sid,No problem at all.He really is a DALAI LAMA wanna be, LOL! And I am a lucky recipient of his kindness .:-)

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   CrescentSkiesposted 11 years ago

   Well it really depends on both partners and their family. Some people are moderate-religious which means they can accept that not everyone is going to believe what they believe and others might not believe anything that cannot be scientifically proven. These people have the ability to agree to disagree and not press the matter farther.
   
   These types of people can have a successful relationship with other faiths and affiliations.
   
   Those people that are hell-bent on arguing for their religion or mindset, refusing to accept that someone may have the audacity to believe something different from them...those people are the ones that will have a metric ton of problems in this type of scenario. It can also happen like that if the family members are this type of person unless the significant other with the offending family members has the strength to reprimand them.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You raise two key points, the argumentative mindset and the views of families. The Shared Heart is a wonderful book by a couple that came together from Jewish & Christian marriages before intermarriage was acceptable.

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   edhanposted 11 years ago

   I do not think it is must to have the same religion. But I believe all religions are teaching us the same thing as the end result - To love one another and help anyone who are in need.
   
   It does not matter when comes to love.

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   CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years ago

   It means everything.
   
   Some say that "opposites attract", but I feel they don't go far enough. Truth is, "opposites attract...divorce attorneys".
   
   In the end, it is the things we have in common that bind us together. Those who have differing belief-systems are a house divided. In time...with just enough stress or pressure...it will fall.

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      peeplesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Quite sad you feel that way!

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Please feel sadness for those who have incompatibility issues looming on the near horizon. Who knows, you may be one of them.

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      SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I respect your opinion. It may even be true sometimes or even often. But not all the time: My wife and I have been growing in love for over 25 years, better and better.

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      peeplesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I feel sad that anyone would assume that religion would have to be a factor that leads to failing. It's equal to saying two people of opposite race can't make it. It's sad that anyone would ignore love and expect fail based on one difference.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Peeples said, "I feel sad that anyone would assume that religion would have to be a factor that leads to failing." Really? Please consider the political relations and dynamics of the Middle East. Marriages are no different. Beliefs are a HUGE factor.

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    Ciel Clarkposted 11 years ago

    I've seen many couples with differing beliefs struggle --especially when it comes to raising kids -- also holidays, traditions, and not feeling connected on a basic way of thinking.  I know it is possible (some great answers by some very tolerant people) but I really haven't met that many "mixed" couples where it isn't an issue.

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       CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Right on, Ciel. :0)

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       SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       As part of an interfaith couple, I can say, for sure, it's an issue. Issues are part of marriage. I suspect that couples who share the same faith and holidays probably simply have other issues to work out.

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    xrena93posted 11 years ago

    i've seen were couples have really bad struggles in there relationship because of that issue. But i've seen were it wasn't a issue.So I guess it would depend on the couples.

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       CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I think the problem is exacerbated if the parties have strong beliefs. Now, I can see if neither party is that commited to a particular belief system or faith, where they would be more permissive and flexible.

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       xrena93posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       yes that is true.  Im a pagan and my husband believes in something way different then I do..But we never fight over whose religion is the right one.

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       SidKempposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I don't see it so much a matter of strength of believe, as believing in the rightness of only one's own beliefs. My wife and I both hold strong beliefs, but we know that we see the truth "through a glass, darkly" and make room for differences.

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