Why do we focus more on hearing and not listening?
In general, we hear what people say, but we do not really listen. We hear certain cues or key words that hit a part of our brain, and we find ways to turn the conversation into an "All About Me" topic.
Your summary actually says what I was gonna say. People wait for others to stop talking before they begin saying what they were thinking about the whole time the other person was talking... they think it's more polite but I think it's just as bad because it's false... at least with an interruption the other person isn't wasting their breath.
Hearing is easy, it comes naturally to most. Listening is work and most are lazy. If some truly listen, hear what you are saying and it confuses them or is perhaps a serious subject, they find it easier to relate if it is somehow connected to something they have seen, heard before, or experienced. So it does become a "all about me" because it was identified and processed that way. It was easier to figure it out because in some past way I related to what you said. And I can respond to you by quoting my experience- or my life -or my -or my---- or my. And then I don't have to be worried about how it affects you and deal with your problem, I can just tell you how smart I was to solve mine. Very easy
And then there are the good ones; -- they lear your words, read your face, listen to your emotions and wait until you are done before they jump into the conversation with something that might truly be helpful.
The world is selfish and narcissistic, so they believe every thing is all about them. This includes conversations and socializing with other people.
In my experiences, For people to really listen it has to be something they really want to know. Take for instance church, How many do you think sit through the whole service, but when asked can tell you what the sermon pertained to? It basically boils down to selfishness. People want others to listen to them, but if something that doesn't concern them or directly affects them or something they do not want to hear, they normally do not listen. I think we are all guilty of this at times.
Hearing like (touch) or (sight) does not require us to pay attention. Oftentimes when we (claim) we did not "hear" what someone said it is not because they did not say it (loud) enough it's because we were not "paying attention" or (listening). Hearing is strictly about the decibels of sound waves. Hearing requires no effort on our part.
Listening, observing, and reasoning requires (effort) on our part. Given the choice between expending energy or relaxing most people would opt to relax. :-)
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