My View ? Well, in my experience , my husband , he never listened to me, now I have spoken with many men, not too many women though , cause they seem to have jealousy issues ... always looking at your shoes or hair or fingernails or what the hell ever competition wise , so most of my friends have been men for the most part , in my experience (aside from my screwed up soon to be ex) men are more down to earth , less competitive on the what I call "mundane issues" and more competitive on what really countsto become successful in life, men have been more receptive to ideas and have helped me to be successful in many ways, I have 1 or two female friends and like.... a ton of male friends , so my view did you ask? Men actually do listen and women, well , they are too wrapped up in themselves to care what you have to say , oops , hope I dont start a war , but my opinion comes from my own experience
Weird you should say that... my own experience is pretty similar. And it's not even as if I'm massively good looking or glamorous, so other women don't have a great deal to be envious of in that department.
With most men, you can have a good old debate (about politics or whatever) but a lot of women seem to get offended if you disagree with them. It's not that they don't listen as such, it's more that they want to be part of a "tribe" and they don't seem to understand that disgreeing with someone's views doesn't necessarily imply criticism of the person. Not all women are like this but a lot of them are, and for me that eliminates them as potential friends. Who wants to be constantly walking on eggshells?
I also find that women expect you to talk about personal stuff in order to feel connected with you. By and large, I don't do that unless I'm VERY comfortable with a person and have known them for a while. So hey, guess what: I get labelled as a "snob" or "standoffish".
The sad thing for me is that I've known loads of men with whom I would have liked closer (platonic) friendships, but felt I couldn't go there because the wives would have got jealous and it would have caused major hassle for the men. Hey-ho.
OMG I am amazed someone understands this, I was adopted two times , once by my real mothers sister , o.k - so I come back thirty years later to take care of my real mother who , passed away soon after I came home , any way , to make a long story short , my mother had only male friends, she was actually evicted from a womens home and passed away in a mens home , same owner evicted her from the womens home and then allowed her to live in the mens home where, she was very happy had great relationships (all platonic of course) and it was funny that her and I felt the same way because we had not spent any time together as I was growing up, now, my daughter has a problem with "chicks" as she calls them , and her friends are boys, funny , but true, o.k and another story is I was working in a tax office, all women , go figure , o.k , I need to learn a schedule A (at the time anyway) so Im all studying and stuff and the women are huddled in a corner all wispering and stuff, then, one comes up to me and I was in a tough spot of understanding this schedule A , expecting some help , I look up and guess what she says .... come on .. guess.. o.k well... she didnt say anything... she jus asked if my eyelashes were real.... I'm like ... what the hell?.... um.... I'm like really needing to understand this schedule A and your asking what? Well no , they are not real , I like ..... um painted them on or something... (o.k so, thats what I thought anyway). Now , a man, see , he would have asked what help I needed, and helped me , then , if he wanted to know about my eyelashes , or wanted to make a pass at me or something, he would have delt with that part , like .... after the business transaction was done, then I could have turned him down, accepted his pass , or whatever, see, women are impractical and really not so smart , most, anyway , tend to focus their attention on stupid things like eyelashes, thats how come most are in search of a rich man LOL , cause they cant figure anything out
interesting you say this because my wife says she finds women she does not know well to be a little bitchy sometimes as well. She often says to me that sometimes she still feels like she is at high school. Where she found jealousy a problem??
Depends on what kind of people you surround yourself with. There are also women who don't listen. I do know that if my husband is playing a video game, he's got everything else tuned out. I could walk into the room and say "WE JUST WON THE MEGA-MILLION!" and he'd say "uh-huh". I think when both men and women are focusing on something to full capacity, they really don't hear anything. Any other time, my husband will hear everything I say... and I talk a lot. haha.
this is a great point. As a man I can say that i find it hard to focus hard on more than 1 thing right, so if my wife brings up something important and I am focused elsewhere, I need to make a definite change in my thinking to hear her properly. This is not to say her comments are not important its just how we are i think
They hear what they want to hear and the rest just passes them by. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus - its true. I am married for 29 years to a great guy but does he listen to me? no.......but I just accept this and work around it.
ALL the time. Where I live, its understood, women do nothing but nag, so you might as well just ignore them. Unless they are naked. Then its ok to look a them, but there really isn't any point in listening to what they are saying, its not ogign to be important.
agree! for example, tell them straight I need you to do this because __ I was hurt because ___
one liner will do with them --
tell them what you want when they are watching sports, they will just say yes, for example tell them you will spend a 100 dollasr for like this and that they will just found out after the billing and the thing is, they told you YES hehe!
If you're a woman who looks and sounds like a man it's not much of a problem, because, after all, many men think only men "know anything".
If you're a woman who is so big and mean you scare the guy it's not much of a problem, because they'll just be scared of you.
If you're a woman who's one of those intimidating and glamorous women that drag queens imitate, you may not have much of problem because they may be willing to listen to anything.
If you're their boss, they may or may not listen. It depends.
Other than that, a whole lot of them have written you off as knowing what you're talking about "because nobody who looks and sounds like you could possibly know what she's talking about." I think of it as a form of " non-malicious misogyny" So, yes, it's common.
On top of all that, when they're eventually proven wrong (and you're proven correct), they won't remember that you were the one who told them. Instead, they're re-write history or else pretend the matter is a brand, new, one that never came up before.
Sometimes getting a man to listen is like talking with a 2 year old. They ask what's this-you tell them, you think they understand because they are nodding and looking at you, but two minutes later-they are asking, 'what's this' again. I feel like I repeat myself-over and over and over and over....again...
I have found that the only way to have about 50% of a chance for them to hear what you are saying is to make them look you in the eye when you say it. Other than that my husband will tell you all sounds like blah blah blah when it reaches their ears.
true we are busy, but so are women. The more keenly you listen and acknowledge the more love and attention you will receive in return., and it gets better from there in ALL departments!! thanks for your comment
In my experience, men listen quite well when you first begin a relationship. Once the "newness" of it all starts to fade, so do their listening skills. They'd rather tell you to shut up than listen to you.
Of course, I haven't had the greatest experiences with men so perhaps I'm not the one to ask
Absolutely true....they never listen! And I mean never. Usually my husband drives me up the wall for not reminding him about something importantt and when I tell him I reminded him a dozen times this week...he just sheepishly leaves the room, (again!) without listening to what I have to say more! lol
who really cares.....you shouldn't be talking or wasting your time with anyone that doesn't want to listen or entertain you. It doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman, who really wants to deal with that!
I think some men listen and some men don't and as others have said some women listen and some don't.
I really dont think it is cut and dried. Our perceptions point to tendencies and this has given rise to the popularity of......
......."Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars"
This is a falsehood and in my opinion very trite. I believe ,although it may be generally true, the aforementioned thesis is only that a general statement. This also often used as crutch to give us excuses for our gender based behaviors.
People are detached, angry, sad, etc. These are reasons people don't communicate with each other. People are busy and dont make communication important. We withhold information because we are angry or maybe we feel hurt and withdraw.
It is a choice to not consider the other person in the relationship. I think that two people who care about each other have to learn to communicate and that is done by caring about what the other thinks as opposed to worrying about our own ego. That is the base problem in what we as a society define as communication problems and it is things like ego, etal not gender differences that cause communication problems.
IN my experience, it depends on how I say it. If I really want to get a point across, I make sure I acknowledge the man's (or any gender)opinion or answer as important, regardless of whether they agree with me or not. It all depends....
often they can hear but they dont listen or participate actively or respond in the way you want them to respond
men goes with their basic inctinct, they listen when they
asked food -- hungry want sex or lovemaking whatever you call it ask where the remote is
it depends really on men, maybe most men
maybe we can condition them to respond to us always by being positive and making it clear we want to be heard and responded to, warning hehe, and then rewards and punishement-- privileges is cut off -- works for them?
I think, personally, of course this is just my own personal opinion - utility sex is best with a sock puppet just out of the dryer who you have never seen before. Those tube socks that come out real fluffy and have never been around this house ever before are the most exciting! although sometimes they get all knotted up around my bras and that can be difficult! untangling them.
ooooo huge gussets! I like the sound of that! Well, I guess I've just proved that I really CAN get men to listen to me! as long as I'm not talking about the dishes or vacuuming or picking up the kids or going to the dentist!
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