Do you have gender preference for your first baby?
I have recently emigrated to India, where having a boy as a first born is a huge issue. I was wondering if the psyche of gender preference also gets to us in the Western countries, maybe just more subtle... Deep down and maybe nearly unnoticeable - have you realized a gender preference in yourself when thinking about having a baby/waiting for the result of a sex determination test or such likes? This question is not to judge anybody, but to understand underlying mechanisms in our society.
I wanted to have a girl. As the eldest, I was put with responsibility and order. The second child has a different child status. But my first was a boy. I guess it is for the best. Still, I need to change my technique for raising my children since a boy is first.
I had a gender preference and that was to have a boy first. Reason being I never had an older brother that could protect me as a child from bullies. Had to do it on my own. I also believed it would have been easier to manage a boy than a girl.
But oh, I was wrong both takes time, work and energy. If I could do it over I would still say boy first.
Wanted my first one to be a boy for my husband, which is traditional. I had a girl and we were thrilled. The next two times I wanted another girl and I got two boys! And we were thrilled.
I'm so glad I got my only girl first so she had all the advantages of being a first born, and she has made the most of them. Couldn't be prouder.
My boys are my heart and soul, and they have given us joy every day of their lives.
I think for the US it depends on where you live and who you ask. I live in Wyoming, and my first husband was REALLY stuck on having a boy for the first. I'm really not sure why it's so important, except the whole "someone to carry on the family name" and such. A couple of generations ago, it was because boys were seen as capable of doing a lot more work earlier in life, there was no paying for weddings for boys later on, and so on. My own father was dead-set on having a boy, but only wanted two kids (one to replace him in the world, and one to replace our mom). He had two girls, and almost 30 years later doesn't seem to have resolved himself to never having a son.
I've personally never had a true gender preference, though I'm glad the first was a boy just because I didn't want my kids to have the same issues with their father as I had with mine. I also wanted to have a girl sometime before I was done having kids, and she was my second baby, but I never really cared which baby turned out to be a girl. The third baby I hoped was a boy just because I wanted so much to have a son with my husband (first son was with the ex) and knew the third child was the last. My husband has a lot of wonderful things to teach boys, and I'll be proud if my youngest turns out to be anything close to the type of man his father is.
I do not mind whether girl or boy for my first baby. Unlike my mum's generation, they prefer to have boy as to carry on the generation of the family tree.
I have met young and old who claim that they never mind if the first child is boy or girl but everybody feels thrilled on having boy as their first child. Only last year I got upgraded as grand father of a baby girl as my son stepped into my shoes. While sitting in a big metro hospital I saw all the health workers congratulating the parents who had a baby boy but the congratulations were not loud enough in case of more than 6 parents who had a baby girl. I even saw the young lads, who became father of a baby girl, not so happy. Actually everybody wants first child to be a baby girl as if 2nd child is baby girl, the family is complete but in case of two consecutive baby girl, the parents think in terms of succession. But I am very happy as my own first child is my daughter. By all means one can not have choice as birth along with gender of the child in womb is in the hands of God and I would like that nobody invents the choice of having boy or girl as it will create natural imbalances.
No, Someday i will be a daddy and whatever the gender of my kids i will love them as far as i love my self.
Unfortunately, I do not have any children. But, if I were to have a child the gender would not matter to me at all. As long as it is a healthy, happy child.
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