What can you do when partner goes into rage over counseling when he keeps saying ok but won't go?
Men, are naturally slow to actually want to go and talk to someone about their personal problems. Avoiding it as best they can. I know you may be having problems. This is also and understanding of your partner themselves. He is a guy, going and talking to someone is not exactly appealing to them. Women, want to work it out, even if it mean bringing in someone else. Men, to want to work it out, without anyone else.
It could also mean a number of other things. Maybe, he doesn't want all of his issues to be brought out and picked at.
Either way, you need to be a little understanding. Encourage him to go as much as possible. Pushing may not be the best answer. Doing something that he doesn't want to do , may end up causing him not to care about trying.
I would suggest that if you are having a hard time getting a spouse to go to counselling with you to consider going to counselling alone to get some strategies on how to get your partner to go. The counsellor may also give you some strategies to improve other aspects of your lives in areas that you have control over
The only person you can control is yourself. Therefore if someone does not want to do something you can't make them do it.
There is no amount of "communication" or "work" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.
Essentially there are only two reasons why someone you're in a relationship with would not do what you have asked for and stressed it's importance.
1. They don't have it to give. ( In other words it's not who they are)
2. They don't believe you are worth the effort. (That one stings a bit)
If someone believes you are worth the effort they will make the effort. The truth is when people are "in love" they want their mates to be happy and the only reason they won't do something is because they don't have it to give.
Either way if it were me and my mate refused to go to counseling I would go on my own. I believe it's important to examine the choices one has made especially when it comes to mate selection.
Generally speaking if we want our mate to "change" there is a good chance we've chosen the wrong partner for ourselves. Very people walk around saying: "I'm looking for someone to change me!"
We're better off finding someone who (already is) the kind of person we want to be with.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Best of luck!
I did anger management and marital counseling. When either party flips out at just the mention of counseling, the relationship is generally long past over. This is why one partner comes in for marital counseling alone, needing help to let go.
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