jump to last post 1-13 of 13 discussions (24 posts)

Premarital Counselling An Important Prerequisite To Marriage Yes Or No

  1. Singlesstreetlife profile image70
    Singlesstreetlifeposted 8 years ago

    I believe if more couples were to go through premarital counselling they would stand a better chance of marital success than those that who do not.

    1. shazwellyn profile image58
      shazwellynposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      yes, maybe it is a chance to get them NOT to do it! hehehe

    2. Cagsil profile image60
      Cagsilposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Not to a couple who has based their relationship on love. smile

      It would only do good, those who have issues to be worked through. smile

      1. shazwellyn profile image58
        shazwellynposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        if there are 'issues' before they are married.. God help them AFTER they are married! lol

    3. Quilligrapher profile image87
      Quilligrapherposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Counseling before marriage is a great way for a couple to prepare for a life long commitment together as husband and wife.  The younger the couple, physically and emotionally, the more important the process becomes.  Good counseling will lead to discussions about topics that may not otherwise be encountered during the usual period of the courtship.  I am not an expert on this subject but I do have some experience.  My wife and I benefited from an organized premarital counseling program 48 years ago.  I can tell you that the process was not evil, a symptom of fear, or the result of neurosis.  It was, however, a joint effort to learn about some the choices that we might have to face in the future.  For us, at least, it was part a conscious decision to avoid, if possible, getting married, getting divorced, and doing it all again.

    4. goldenpath profile image73
      goldenpathposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      When I am approached by a couple to marry I have them go through three sessions with me.  Each session is broken into three different categories.  In the last ten years or so I have made it a common practice with me.

    5. Black Lilly profile image60
      Black Lillyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      If someone needs counselling BEFORE marriage, what will happen AFTER?!
      Is "marital success" understood as a prolonged agony in this sense - like, "whatever happens, as long as we're together"?

      I think if someone can't understand the consequences of getting married, they should definitely wait.

    6. Pearldiver profile image79
      Pearldiverposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Why? hmm

      They wouldn't fight so much if they had Pre-Nup agreements! tongue

    7. profile image0
      B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I have been through it, back in 1996..had to go to 3 sessions...did not make any difference in either of our lives..so actually, in my experience, it does not make a difference.

  2. fishtiger58 profile image79
    fishtiger58posted 8 years ago

    Maybe that is true. I guess it would depend on the couple involved. My husband and I did not go to premarital counselling and we have been married 23 years and together 27 years. We have a great marriage and we both know it's forever.

    1. Singlesstreetlife profile image70
      Singlesstreetlifeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      How I wish more could have such a great testimony like you.

  3. profile image0
    tequilarosemama4posted 8 years ago

    i feel it would be advisable to go through premarital counseling. to make sure that both partys involved are on the same team or page together. it also helps them see what the other person may be feeling about getting married and all.

  4. Tadeusz598 profile image73
    Tadeusz598posted 8 years ago

    Counselling is an evil: a symptom of fear, of lack of inner conviction, of neurosis. We do not need it.

    Counselling proffers pseudo-wisdom: it has no philosophical base, no culture, nor wit, or passion.  It's joyless, navel-gazing and destructive.

    It's a pseudo-profession, never truly scrutinised by empirical research. It's all fakery and platitude, conducted by nobodies.

    Get married, get divorced, suffer and love. Then do it again.

    But please, please, please, please do not do counselling.

  5. Misha profile image76
    Mishaposted 8 years ago


  6. Jewels profile image84
    Jewelsposted 8 years ago

    In most cases pre marital counselling is a waste of time.  The couple in question are usually going through that heightened chemical reaction that happens when you're in love.  They would agree to anything.  Any talk of difficulties later on fall on deaf ears as the ears also are muffled by that same chemical reaction.

    Once the chemical reaction has worn off then counselling might work.  Hopefully the said couple can withstand the shock of reality when this happens. lol

    1. Valerie F profile image60
      Valerie Fposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Even couples whose relationships are based on love (and heaven help anyone whose relationships are based on anything else) might have things that need to be worked out before they become issues. It can help to work out matters like finances, family planning, religious or cultural differences, how to raise the children, and expectations regarding marriage with the help of a neutral third party months before the wedding.

      1. rebekahELLE profile image86
        rebekahELLEposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        I think so too. love doesn't mean you've thought everything through. my oldest son is now engaged and I gave him one of those planning type books that cover all of those things that valerie has posted. and we talk about things to consider.  I think it certainly could help, why not? we want our young couples to succeed. too many go into it with no real direction for the long term.

  7. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 8 years ago

    I think that differs for every couple. my husband are still young in our marriage (2 years) but we went without and we are doing just fine, on the same page and everything.

  8. profile image0
    A Texanposted 8 years ago

    Ive been married 5 times and have never had premarital counseling! So take it from me its not needed. big_smile

  9. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 8 years ago

    Probably more important with younger couples.

  10. aware profile image67
    awareposted 8 years ago

    honesty is the best policy  . monogamy is not natural its the exception not the rule . its hard work .  they dont tell you that in counseling .

  11. profile image48
    Amazin Gracieposted 8 years ago

    Think it's good to establish a solid plan for marriage. If unable to do alone, counseling sounds like great guide.

  12. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Ireland is a dominantly Catholic country, so most marrages happen through the Catholic Church, before you can get married in the Catholic Church you have to do a pre-marrage course, however, the only contraceptive method taught at these pre-marrage courses is the Rythm method, this is the method of using a themometor etc to test a woman when she is least likely to concieve each month, great theory, but on a Saturday night when a man and woman have consumed some beers it dont work great, so too many woman having too many children, courses can be helpful others are just a waste of time, find love find happiness, mots people today get married for the big day out, then after a few months they get tired of the mondain tasks and want to go clubbing again, marrage has become a commodity to be bought and then discarded as it suits......Katie price syndrome....

  13. hollywoodjames profile image57
    hollywoodjamesposted 8 years ago

    If you feel you need counseling BEFORE getting married...forget about it and don't do it!!!  Contrary to what people think, a good solid, loving relationship DOES NOT take work.  If you have to work on keeping your relationship together, end it and start a new one.  The problem is that many people lack the self-discipline and commitment to keep a relationship together, always thinking they're missing out on something better and constantly looking.  Focus on what you have and enjoy it.