Why are there so many single, black women in the United States?
I'm married (let me just put that out there). However, I can not help but feel some kind of way about the dilemma that is obviously plaguing many black women in this day and age. This is not a new idea, but since I'm a black woman, and I have my own ideas about why so many black women are single, I feel I am more than justified in posing this question myself to see what others are thinking.
I think this is a generalization. That's like saying there are so many single Japanese women out there. Or even Mexican women. Or what about Filipino? Seriously, it's a generalization.
Sure it may be a generalization, but that doesn't rid us of the fact that in comparison to other cultures, black women are less likely than other races to be in a committed, marital relationship. Ask yourself, how many single black women do you know?
I don't know any black women. Only black men. And they're all with white women.
Now days single women is common fact in every part of the world. It is due advancement of women in career and loss of stigma of being single in society.
I think there are just more single women - I read somewhere that it has to do with the natural balance, once humans start overpopulating (i.e. too many people crowding the earth, being born each year) then more girls are born than boys.
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea... As a man who loves black women, I'm wondering now too... Anyone?
lol, Alen, are you currently dating, because you could certainly aid in decreasing these numbers :-).
Yeah, I am currently dating a white black girl (it's one of those white girls with actual curves) but otherwise I would love if I could decrease those numbers
According to Unmarried Equality There are 112 million unmarried people over age 18 in the U.S., representing nearly 47% of the adult population. U.S. Census Bureau. (as of 2012)
44.9% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are female. For every 100 unmarried women there are 88 unmarried men. 23.0% of the unmarried population aged 18 and older are people of color and 77.0% are (white). http://www.unmarried.org/statistics/
Those are the real statistics. Having said that it has also been reported that black women are the least likely to date outside of their own race. The fewer options one allows for them self the more difficult it becomes to find a mate.
Another aspect that may keep men of other races from pursuing relationships with black women is how they are portrayed in the media. They are often seen as loud, bossy, quick tempered, male hating, and violent. In a word (angry). As a black man I can tell you there really are lots of black women I've know who could easily be on some of those reality shows.
However I've also known many black female college students and working professionals who are no where near being the stereotype.
The final excuse often offered is blaming the black male. People cite the number of black males in prison, those who are on the "down low", no desire to marry, and those who date outside of their race.
The reality is life is a personal journey. Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. Our lives are for the most part the end result of the choices and decisions (we) make. We are responsible for our own happiness. Therefore if anyone is "blaming" anyone outside of themselves for their circumstances they're blaming the wrong person. Most people would rather attempt to "change the world" then to change themselves.
It is called Desire Dependency. It would take too long to explain but the short of it is it is hormonal mostly having to do with the Black man, nature, and a displaced cultural setting.
Okay, I'm interested now. Can you please provide me with some additional insight into this 'desire dependency'? This is a new term for me, so I'll need some background. If you have a link, I'ld love to read more about it.
Popular culture thrives on Desire. The desire to for Heaven, for riches, for fame, for sex, and for (beauty). An overdependence on desire rewires to Brain like a drug because the satisfaction of one’s desires releases Dopamine. Sent you an email
Sista Souljah once said black women are especially confused when determining their position in a relationship. You don't sleep with a man and then ask for definition or begin to assume you are in a relationship nor settle for the jump off situation. Using your bodies as a means to avoid being lonely or waiting for a suitable mate is never a good idea. Unfortunately this low self-esteem plagues women with high std rates because they are clamoring for a man and willing to put no restrictions on that man, even if it can cost her her life, just to have someone around.
Down low men.
*Cold and angry. Not all women are cold and angry however there are many women that are just mean. They can wear all the makeup and nice attire they desire but they have a bad heart and a bad spirit. The high rates of single family households produced women who aren't witnessing the example of their mothers being loving/caring wives. Wives, back in the day, that there was a certain way to carry themselves-booty shorts and twerking wasn't it.
Super sexy without substance. Do you read, travel, try new things, improve yourself or deal with your issues? These stupid reality tv shows are making women believe that love is shopping sprees, men spending thousands on you everytime you meet, and paying your bills just to spend time with you. Being passed from man to man is not attractive. Too many people are tuned into no-reality t.v.
Most importantly we can't forget the role of slavery. Men that hate themselves so they are incapable of being attracted to or loving someone that is a reflection of them. You also have the men that resent their mothers and therefore see their mom in your complexion and can't bring himself to enter into a quality relationship with someone like their mother.
Lack of knowledge of your history. If you knew all the sacrifices of the generations before you so one could vote, attend college, and have everyday freedoms you wouldn't attempt to disrespect their legacy by embracing food stamps and poverty. They jumped the broom in slavery, so why now are women settling for being single mothers. If you don't present ring worthy and set the expectation that you desire your ring then you will not achieve it.
There are many women that have it all together and had no idea they wouldn't bump into their husband at grad school or during a cruise. There are women that are loving, caring, good values, morals, educated professionals-lonely.Sad.Ring required.
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