Have you ever had to forgive someone?

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   quildonposted 10 years ago

   Have you ever had to forgive someone?
   
   It's not always easy to get to the place where you are willing or able to forgive someone. If you have ever forgiven someone, how did you go about it? Does it still hurt to remember what the person did to you?

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   Good Guyposted 10 years ago

   Actually a better option is to just like it go.  Don't have to forgive.  I just let go of whatever or whoever  that is hurting me.  That is what I do.  I don't have to forgive.  I just don't indulge in the thoughts anymore.  Let the person who hurts me, go.  Let him live his life, and I, live mine.  I have peace of mind.  No more indulging in poisonous thoughts.  In his way, I live a happier and peaceful life.  Hope this approach will also enhance my health as I no longer have any negative energy to hurt my own body.

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It makes sense, Good Guy. Letting go, releasing or whatever we call it is important for our peace of mind. Thanks for your comment.

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   tsmogposted 10 years ago

   Yes to the first question. The second question will require a hub and I am considering that now. Maybe soon. The last is yes. Consider forgiveness is forgiveness and condoning is condoning. One can forgive the offense, yet not condone the behavior. Some say a person forgives and does not forget. A difficult task learning the difference between forgiveness, condoning, and forgetting or allowing time to heal. I shall stop here, please forgive me :-) as I am considering a hub article.

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, tsmog. Forgiving is not condoning, neither does it mean forgetting. You'reight, it is hard to work out the difference.

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   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   Forgiveness is "letting go". Choosing not to let whatever happened (dwell) on your mind. It's freeing yourself to move on.
   Having said that it does no mean you have to maintain a relationship with that individual. If a bank (forgives a debt) it simply means they've decided to stop pursuing payment. It does not mean they will extend another loan to that person! To forgive is not to forget.
   That would be throwing away a valuable lesson!
   Once someone reveals their "authentic self" to you then you make adjustments as to how to deal with them in the future.
   "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."
   Ultimately forgiveness is about deciding to "move on" with your life.

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, I've never heard it expressed like that. I'm sure we can all relate to the analogy with the bank. Thanks for your excellent comment.

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   Faith Reaperposted 10 years ago

   Oh, yes, I have had to forgive many times as God tells us to do so (70 X 70, if necessary), and I understand that if we choose to hold onto any unforgiveness it can literally make us sick to our bones.  The person we forgive may not even know they have harmed us and they are going on living their life clueless and here we are suffering for no reason.  I have discovered that once I have truly forgiven another one, I experience such sweet peace, His peace, the peace that passes all understanding.  Our tormented minds are no longer filled with those negative thoughts rerunning in our minds and we are able to put the past behind us on move forward to live in the present and have hope for the future, to become the person God intended for us to become, but that is not possible as long as we hold onto that unforgiveness in our hearts.  It is not worth it.  It is a must that we forgive.  It no longer hurts once I had truly forgiven that person.  In fact I feel much compassion in my heart for that person(s).  Just because we have forgiven though, it does not mean we have to subject ourselves to any form of abuse from that person as it is sometimes necessary to put up boundaries.  Plus, it takes a long time to trust that person too, even though we have forgiven them.  Trusting them again is not a requirement of forgiveness.  I have had to forgive myself too on many occasions as we can be hardest on ourselves, when we must understand we are human.  I will ask for forgiveness from another.  God bless you.  Thank you for asking this great question.

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      And thank you for replying, faithreaper. There's so much truth and wisdom in what you said. I too have experienced that peace and compassion after I have forgiven someone, but trust is another thing entirely.

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   Penny Gposted 10 years ago

   I always forgive, because God requires we forgive others, or how can he forgive us! It isn't always easy, but through him and his word we can; we must. Be ready, he will come in the wink of an eye!

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much, Penny G. Yes, we see the signs of His coming.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, we must forgive as God tells us, and so true, as He will come in the wink of an eye!

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   peachpurpleposted 10 years ago

   let me think, many people did unforgiveable act but never ask for forgiveness. So, how do i forgive and forget when they think that they are not wrong in the first place?

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, it is not up to them to ask, but for us to forgive them no matter what, as it is really for our own sake.  Harboring unforgiveness in our heart is harmful to our health.  You do not have to trust that person or even have them in your life.

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      Penny Gposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If we are to be forgiven by Our Lord then we must do as he does.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Penny G, true words!

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      You can't forget, peachpurple, but as faith reaper said, forgiveness benefits you more than it does the other person so you need to forgive and move on with your life.

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   SirDentposted 10 years ago

   All relationships, no matter how intense or casual requires forgiveness in order to succeed.  Best friends, casual friends etc. . .  have to forgive before the friendship can remain. 
   
   Husbands and wives will never make it past the first few months of marriage if they don't forgive one another.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Great insight as to forgiveness you have shared, SirDent!

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      quildonposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      So true, SirDent! Thanks for your comment.

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