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Why won't he admit his faults?
He has spent every cent he had worked for and is penniless. He won't admit his gambling addiction. What is your opinion?
Its a bad habit and an addiction..... it is very hard to change for some people.... like you can try to change them... but they will never change
Addictions are about enjoying the thrill of the activity.
People who aren't addicts tend to look at the consequences of their actions and choose to stop. While the addict's focus is on the high they get from the experience itself. It's not about results.
I would imagine someone who is addicted to gambling simply believes they're going to through a "slump" or are having some "bad luck". Being addicted to "hope" or luck can delay needed changes.
Ultimately they believe if they keep betting they'll have a chance to win it back! The thought of "quitting" in their eyes is the same as giving up their dream. They'd feel like they've "invested" all that time & money and got (nothing) in return. They don't want to give up!
I've observed people who have been in "toxic relationships" do the same thing! They'll tell you they've been together for 10 years and simply refuse to walk away because it would mean that those years were wasted. They're holding onto the hope things will change.
The concept of them "wasting additional years" never enters their mind. Similar to the gambler he believes (eventually) it will "payoff".
I am addicted to Hubpages in some way. When somebody questions me about it, I would stoutly deny it. What to do? Addicts are like that! (If they accept and walk out of their affinities, they are not addicts. Right?)
Admitting an addiction is easier said than done DDE. Most will say they don't partake more than anyone else and often can't see that they have a problem even though it is obvious to others around them. It is like an anorexic looking in the mirror and seeing themselves as fat. Gamblers remember the times that they win as though that happens the majority of the time when in fact it may be very rare. They think they are just on a losing streak that will soon turn around if they hang in there..eventually they will have a win but it won't cover what they have lost up until that point. He needs help like Gamblers Anonymous.
it is hard for a leopard to change its spot. Unless you chop off his fingers
Your man is in the grips of an addiction which provides him with the euphoria and excitement he craves. So long as he is able to manage to get money for his addiction, it won't stop. He will have to hit bottom. My suggestion is that you now start keeping separate accounts so that not all the money is spent. And in this account, only you have access to the money. If he is the main earner, make sure you apportion a good part of his paycheck into your personal account. Just leave him barely enough to fulfill that addiction of his-or heck just cut him off financially. With no money-there's no gambling. He may be forced to seek help then. I hope he doesn't lose his job before he hits bottom. Personally, if he's penniless and can't support his family, he has now become useless to you. Kick him out until he seeks help.
by fosginger2 years ago
When he's wrong, and won't admit it, what do you do?
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