Do you think transsexuals should be required to disclose their born gender when dating?
Do you feel it should be a personal choice for transsexuals to reveal their born gender? Would you be offended if you felt you were dating someone of one gender, only to discover they were born another gender? What are your thoughts?
i do think they should reveal it. for one, if they are not ashamed by it, why hide it? two, its pretty disrespectful to the person being deceived. they think they are going out with the opposite sex, so obviously they are interested in the opposite sex. why would a transsexual even want a relationship that is built on deception from the beginning?
From (their point of view) they are and have always been (mentally) the opposite sex! They've gotten the hormones and have had the surgeries to (align their body). They just can't produce children but there are lots of folks who can't do that.
so what if "mentally" that are the opposite sex? i personally take issue with mutilating the body rather than fixing the mind. but that not the topic. the person being deceived may not see it that way, and shouldnt they get a say in the matter?
I think it's up to the individual what they choose to disclose about their past. If a person is post-op, and has had their gender changed on their legal documents, their birth gender no longer exists. In a dating situation, it could be completely irrelevant.
Also, who exactly would enforce this requirement? Some sort of gender police? Is someone going to ask people to drop trou before they're allowed to go on a date? Would I be required to disclose that I've had a hysterectomy before I have dinner?
Leave the choices about what is disclosed about one's body to the individual, and let each person choose what and when to reveal whatever they feel is relevant.
Very good question, realtalk247. My gut says yes because that's a very significant part of the transsexual's life that (literally) makes them who they are. Maybe for a casual date it wouldn't be necessary but for on-going dates where you're getting to know the person, become closer and more intimate - - I would say yes, that information needs to be shared or it would fall into the category of deception, in my opinion. Moreover, the other person should be given the choice of whether or not they want to be involved with a transsexual.
Personally speaking morally I think it's the right thing to do.
Having said that most folks aren't quick to disclose their history when they meet new people. Some have been known to pretend to be single when they're married and that is their "current status"!
It's conceivable that a transgendered person might be of the mindset that they will never be "accepted" if they constantly have to repeat their story of being born with the opposite gender anatomy.
Much like some people who decide to change their name and never mention what their birth name was. Some people don't look back.
However if one truly wants to be loved for who (they are) they have to be honest. I'm not sure if it's a "first date" conversation or if it's something to be revealed only when there is romantic interest.
My guess is if it's a "one night stand" they wouldn't feel obligated to talk about. Not many "one night stands" have heart to heart discussions. A couple of dances/drinks then it's off to the races!
Lying and deceiving someone is not a good foundation for building a (lasting relationship). It's probably safe to assume if the transgender person is considered attractive like the actress photo here from the TV show "Orange is the New Black" probably has no problems finding men to date. Most men would be worried about what their friends/family might think or afraid dating one makes them gay.
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