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Do males and females "close the door" to the past with equal ease?
Is it an individual personality difference that makes one person put the past behind them easier than another or is it a gender-based difference? Is there no difference at all? If there is a difference and it is personality based, what type of personality can "move on" and what type of personality can't do that as easily? Is there an (a.) neurological explanation or a (b) sociological or (c) psychological explanation if there is indeed a difference in ability to "move forward"?
I believe it has less to do with gender and more to do with what occurred in the relationship, how emotionally invested one was, as well as one's self-esteem. The higher the self-esteem the less crap one is likely to put up with. They're always aware of other options.
Once you realize there is no point going on with a relationship sometimes it takes courage to move on and not look back. The other person may say it was "easy" for you simply because you knew it would be a waste of time to stay where you're unhappy.
Once one (accepts the reality of a situation) they gain a measure insight or clarity which helps them to focus on executing a plan.
In my opinion woman hold onto things longer, based on what I have seen
I think it's based in an individual's personality and not a gender issue, and it seems to depend, to some extent, on what expectations or presuppositions one may have. Good communication helps, but it's human nature to hear what we want to hear and disregard what isn't consistent with our hopes. Add the factors of maturity and social environment, and it can get very complicated. In terms of moving on, it seems to be easier with practice, and that's not necessarily a good trait or mindset, especially when one is ready to settle down. I think it's relatively easy for a man or woman to develop some "emotional callus" after a series of disappointments, but an optimistic and forgiving nature is an asset.
Sociologists and psychologists have studied this question. It turn out that, in general, men have a more difficult time moving on. The reason why is because men tend to brood over the break-up and close themselves off. In other words, they don't talk about it. Women, on the other hand, generally have girlfriends that they feel comfortable sharing their feelings with. This sharing and communication helps the woman move forward---it is a release of sorts. The male, however,may not necessarily feel comfortable in sharing his feelings with his guy friends. Consequently, he remains "stuck."
This is why a man who was married, is more likely to want his wife back, whereas the woman feels differently about her ex-husband.
So in essence, her "talk therapy" with her friends helps her to let go of lingering attachments. Of course, there are exceptions both ways, but in general, sociologists have determined that women have the advantage in this area (of being able to."close the door" to the past.} Great question!
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