How important is telling the truth in a relationship? Should I tell the truth about every detail?
Certain truths are better left untold, but how much should I tell in order to safely grow the relationship without hurting my partner?
I've always believed that truth and honesty were the foundation of a good relationship. If there's something that happened that will hurt your partner, it's going to be a lot better coming from you then a stranger, or worse, a friend or family member. The truth has a tendency to find its way out into the open at the most inopportune and embarrassing moments.
Telling the truth is the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationships. If you lie or hide something you then have to keep that lie in mind and build everything else you say around that lie on order for it not to be opened. Isn't it better to just be yourself, act the way you feel and tell things as they are?
Everyone has a wall of privacy. It's unrealistic to believe otherwise.
This might entail private thoughts, feelings, past mistakes they're embarrassed by, pain they suffered, and numerous other regrets...etc
Not everything that happens in (your life) has a bearing on your current relationship. It's not necessary to reopen old wounds every time you enter into a new relationship. People will generally ask you whatever they feel they need to know to feel comfortable with you.
Having said that there are some things one should freely admit the moment they feel someone is starting to get serious about them.
Examples might be a transsexual who was born a man, having an incurable STD such as herpes or HIV, being married, having children, a felony record, an existing warrant, pending lawsuits, major debt/credit issues, drug/alcohol/gambling addiction, or being bipolar.
Having a psycho ex who is still creating havoc in your life, diagnosed with a terminal illness, continuing or former prostitute/escort/stripper or porn star. Secrets such as these are bound to come out.
All of these generally fall under the category of:
"Things you should know before we get serious."
However none of them are things you'd bring up immediately right after stating your name, shaking hands, or the first date.
Nevertheless there will be some people you date or get involved with who will feel you should have told them "everything" on day one!
The irony is they didn't do the same!
One of the reasons why people suggest establishing a relationship before having sex is to allow themselves time to "uncover" things about one another before becoming intimate
Another reason is the person with a big secret doesn't want to be prejudged before someone has had an opportunity to get to know them. In the interest of saving time most us look to exclude people.
Oftentimes the dispute isn't over "the secret" but over the timing of the reveal. It's never "soon enough" in the eyes of the other person.
Ultimately it's (your life) and you tell people when (you) are ready.
If you are hiding information that is important to the other like health status or how you're spending money, it is bad.
If you aren't sharing trivia like "I pooped five times today" or detailing every conversation you had, that doesn't matter.
You must tell the truth on important facts that affect you and your partner, such as not lying when you lose a job or lost money on a bet that affects the ability to pay bills. You need to tell the truth on things that affect your relationship, like seeing an old female friend for lunch.
I believe that even little things matter because they could be percieved in a much worse way, like you meet your neighbor briefly and introduce yourself if you lie and say you didnt but she says hi with your name from a wives point of view,looks really bad.There are exceptions,nobody really wants their spouse to be completely honest about how bad her hair looks ext.
I believe telling the truth is of paramount importance, especially in a romantic relationship. It creates a sense of trust and enables the relationship to mature. However, sometimes it's necessary to withhold some details or even alter the facts a little in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts in the home. My girlfriend typically tells me about her day to meticulous details and she expects the same from me.
She recently forbid me from eating from a hospital canteen where I work, because she's concerned for my health. But sometimes I get too hungry to walk across town to another restaurant. So when she asks about where I had lunch from, I sometimes don't tell the whole truth. Should I feel guilty about it?
by rikabothra7 months ago
Hi everyone,Here's a thought...We have been taught to speak the truth, but it is right to do so in the cost of hurting/harming someone? Especially if that someone is a person we care for? It is one of the biggest...
by sushant1435 years ago
Why we afraid to tell the truth ??
by Brian Slater5 years ago
Why do politicians continue to lie to us, why don't they tell the truth anymore?There is so much spin put on every news story you hear. Why have we moved away from telling people exactly what the truth is?
by bilalbhatti6 years ago
hey guys, would you prefer sharing your passwords of social networks or email to your loved one?For a perfect relationship is that necessary?
by jaydawg80817 months ago
Is it better to lie than to hurt someone's feelings for being honest?
by seen15 years ago
how do you tell the one u in a relationship with the truth after 2years of relationship. secret...that could possibly end the relationship. help on whether to still keep it a secret bcos u don't want to lose him or just...
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