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How important is telling the truth in a relationship? Should I tell the truth ab

  1. ian 12am profile image87
    ian 12amposted 19 months ago

    How important is telling the truth in a relationship? Should I tell the truth about every detail?

    Certain truths are better left untold, but how much should I tell in order to safely grow the relationship without hurting my partner?

  2. profile image0
    Cissy1946posted 19 months ago

    I've always believed that truth and honesty were the foundation of a good relationship. If there's something that happened that will hurt your partner, it's going to be a lot better coming from you then a stranger, or worse, a friend or family member. The truth has a tendency to find its way out into the open at the most inopportune and embarrassing moments.

  3. Alex Hunter profile image70
    Alex Hunterposted 19 months ago

    Telling the truth is the best thing you can do for yourself and your relationships. If you lie or hide something you then have to keep that lie in mind and build everything else you say around that lie on order for it not to be opened. Isn't it better to just be yourself, act the way you feel and tell things as they are?

  4. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 19 months ago


    Everyone has a wall of privacy. It's unrealistic to believe otherwise.
    This might entail private thoughts, feelings, past mistakes they're embarrassed by, pain they suffered, and numerous other regrets...etc
    Not everything that happens in (your life) has a bearing on your current relationship. It's not necessary to reopen old wounds every time you enter into a new relationship. People will generally ask you whatever they feel they need to know to feel comfortable with you.
    Having said that there are some things one should freely admit the moment they feel someone is starting to get serious about them.
    Examples might be a transsexual who was born a man, having an incurable STD such as herpes or HIV, being married, having children, a felony record, an existing warrant, pending lawsuits, major debt/credit issues, drug/alcohol/gambling addiction, or being bipolar.
    Having a psycho ex who is still creating havoc in your life, diagnosed with a terminal illness, continuing or former prostitute/escort/stripper or porn star. Secrets such as these are bound to come out.
    All of these generally fall under the category of:
    "Things you should know before we get serious."
    However none of them are things you'd bring up immediately right after stating your name, shaking hands, or the first date.
    Nevertheless there will be some people you date or get involved with who will feel you should have told them "everything" on day one!
    The irony is they didn't do the same!
    One of the reasons why people suggest establishing a relationship before having sex is to allow themselves time to "uncover" things about one another before becoming intimate 
    Another reason is the person with a big secret doesn't want to be prejudged before someone has had an opportunity to get to know them. In the interest of saving time most us look to exclude people.
    Oftentimes the dispute isn't over "the secret" but over the timing of the reveal. It's never "soon enough" in the eyes of the other person.
    Ultimately it's (your life) and you tell people when (you) are ready.

  5. tamarawilhite profile image92
    tamarawilhiteposted 19 months ago

    If you are hiding information that is important to the other like health status or how you're spending money, it is bad.
    If you aren't sharing trivia like "I pooped five times today" or detailing every conversation you had, that doesn't matter.
    You must tell the truth on important facts that affect you and your partner, such as not lying when you lose a job or lost money on a bet that affects the ability to pay bills. You need to tell the truth on things that affect your relationship, like seeing an old female friend for lunch.

  6. chuckandus6 profile image76
    chuckandus6posted 19 months ago

    I believe that even little things matter because they could be percieved in a much worse way, like you meet your neighbor briefly and introduce yourself if you lie and say you didnt but she says hi with your name from a wives point of view,looks really bad.There are exceptions,nobody really wants their spouse to be completely honest about how bad her hair looks ext.

  7. ian 12am profile image87
    ian 12amposted 19 months ago

    I believe telling the truth is of paramount importance, especially in a romantic relationship. It creates a  sense of trust and enables the relationship to mature. However, sometimes it's necessary to withhold some details or even alter the facts a little in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts in the home.  My girlfriend typically tells me about her day to meticulous details and she expects the same from me.
    She recently forbid me from eating from a hospital canteen where I work, because she's concerned for my health.  But sometimes I get too hungry to walk across town to another restaurant. So when she asks about where I had lunch from, I sometimes don't tell the whole truth. Should I feel guilty about it?

    1. chuckandus6 profile image76
      chuckandus6posted 19 months agoin reply to this

      I believe you should tell her because it causes lack of trust and even though you could avoid slight disagreement, trust issues will destroy any relationship