What qualities make for a lasting marriage, with divorce rates at 60% including

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (8 posts)
  1. Dawn Michael PhD profile image46
    Dawn Michael PhDposted 23 months ago

    What qualities make for a lasting marriage, with divorce rates at 60% including separation?

  2. Ken Burgess profile image91
    Ken Burgessposted 23 months ago

    Both have to share the value of family, marriage, being a couple committed to one another.

    Both have to have strong common ties to something... either they grew up in the same culture, watching the same things, learning the same things... or they share a career or dedication to a religion, etc.

    If one person grew up in a broken family, without any positive role models, and never saw any long term relationship endure... then chances are, they will falter in any marriage sooner or later.  They have had in their experiences the foundation for such failure.

    In addition we live in a culture that rewards separation, for women, the welfare state allows for single women to receive benefits for themselves and their children if they divorce or remain single and maintain custody of the children.

    And we live in a culture of self gratification, instant gratification, and one where opportunity to be with someone else is right around the corner, for just about anyone.

  3. profile image0
    Cissy1946posted 23 months ago

    I was 46 when I married for the first time so the things that made our marriage work may not work for younger people but Mike and I always took time for ourselves. Everyday. After work we would just relax with each other and tell each other the things that happened, both bad and good, to us during the day. We exposed each other to new things. Ex. He was a racing enthusiast and an avid sports fan while I was much happier at a play or concert but together we enjoyed both types of entertainment. We laughed together a lot. We had one absolute rule--Never go to sleep mad. We had a couple of really late nights but we always worked out the problem. Our marriage wasn't perfect but it was a wonderful part of my life. I think the laughing together is really important.

    1. Dawn Michael PhD profile image46
      Dawn Michael PhDposted 23 months agoin reply to this

      I agree, I think that laughing together in a marriage is very important, as well as trying new things to keep the relationship exciting.

  4. dashingscorpio profile image86
    dashingscorpioposted 23 months ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/13240593_f260.jpg

    We also can't forget the "emotionally divorced" & sexless but living together. They're just "roommates with the same last name".
    The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
    Compatibility trumps compromise!
    Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
    I believe the #1 cause for divorce is choosing the wrong mate.
    Each of us gets to {choose} our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
    The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.
    Having said all of the above there are no guarantees that one person or the other won't change, grow in a different direction, or want something different. Communication is the GPS for marriages.
    It lets you know if you're  "growing together" or "growing apart".
    There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want.
    Maybe a couple talked about having children and a couple years into the marriage the wife's career took off and now she's not interested in having children. Maybe one of them was offered a promotion that required them to relocate across the country or outside of their present country.
    Incidences of physical/verbal abuse arise, infidelity, addictions, or illegal behavior...etc
    Everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers" and "boundaries". When we change our circumstances change.

    1. Dawn Michael PhD profile image46
      Dawn Michael PhDposted 23 months agoin reply to this

      Hello, nice to hear from you, so with that in mind we are probably looking at a 70% divorce rate counting in the sexless, unsatisfied marriages.

    2. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 23 months agoin reply to this

      The other happy 30% of marriages probably includes newlyweds and those who have been married less than 20 years. LOL!
      They say relationships are "hard work".
      However finding the "right mate" is the (real) hard work! smile

  5. tamarawilhite profile image90
    tamarawilhiteposted 23 months ago

    Divorce and separation rates are closer to 40% for first marriages, 50% for second marriages (Shaunti Feldhan's research).
    Why marriages fail include:
    * marrying when too immature, which is why you shouldn't marry before 20
    * too long as an unstable relationship so protective behaviors lead to divorce, such as marrying the "other woman" or having children before legally together in the hope of leading to marriage
    * differences in faith that lead to conflict when you have children
    * differences in how they view money so they conflict every time both spend all the money
    * marrying someone who cannot make the commitment because they aren't a fit spouse (gambler, drug addict, drink to excess, abusive behaviors)

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)