Shotgun marriages are actually said to be on the rise in Japan. This is when pregnancy occurs before marriage and the couple decides to marry because of the pregnancy. However, it is said that divorce rates are high among shotgun marriages compared to when pregnancy occurs after marriage. Perhaps it`s because couples who decide to get married because of the pregnancy didn`t marry because they loved each other and wanted to be together.
What other reason(s) do you think contributes to the high divorce rate in shotgun marriages?
A marriage based upon circumstances rather than love is likely to fail.
Having said that there are three basic reasons why couples divorce.
1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible)
2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.
3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us.
Choose wisely!
Overall the divorce rates have increased over the past eras mainly due to better career opportunities and higher pay for women at least in the U.S.
According to an AARP survey {women initiate} 66% or 2/3rds of the divorce filings in the U.S. It would be interesting to know who is initiating the filing of divorces in Japan.
The more options one has the less crap they will put up with!
One man's opinion!
@dashingscorpio The three basic reasons for divorce that you have mentioned are very good points. My sister divorced a few years ago and I think she fits reason#1. Yes, I did know that women initiate over half of the divorce filings, but I will have to look up the figures for Japan. Yes, a marriage based on circumstance is likely to fail, and rightfully so, since the reason the shotgun marriage couple married is because the wife-to-be fell pregnant where ideally it should be "we were in love and wanted to be together".
I don't think we have many "shotgun" marriages in the U.S. anymore, unless it's a regional thing. Many couples live together, have a child or two, and then shop for a house, a more common way of doing things in our times. Only really young people would be forced into a marriage because of an unplanned pregnancy, and it would fail because they were too immature. It's hard enough to stay married, but if a person is young and then has to be a child parent, the pressure is just too much.
This is why I support Planned Parenthood and a woman's right to choose. Two kids don't have anything to offer a child, don't have good paying jobs, and likely will have to live with their parents because they aren't established adults yet. Teens need to be taught about birth control and if all else fails, abortion should be available if that is what they choose to do. I believe it's a better choice than forcing kids into a marriage they aren't ready for, who don't have the resources to raise a child. If that's not an option, many couples who can't have children would love to adopt that child.
Also, marriages based on love are a somewhat recent development that came about in the last 100 years or so. Marriage was normally an arrangement between two families for reasons of real estate, religion, politics, or other business dealings, using the woman as a pawn in the game.
@Jean Bakula Yes, teens need to be taught about birth control, since if they are forced into marriage due to pregnancy and don`t have the resources to raise a child, then the marriage is likely to fail and the child would have to be brought up in a single parent home. I had the feeling birth control is taught in high schools in the U.S. as a serious matter, which is why by the time the kids are in college they know better than to practice unsafe sex. Birth control isn`t really taken seriously in high schools here, from what I heard from my son. He went to a public high school in Yokohama and the teacher just glossed over the details about birth control. Perhaps this is why at the college where my sister teaches two female college students fell pregnant. I think they got married after they found out they were pregnant.
We seem to be going through a very conservative time in the U.S. Although health teachers teach the mechanics of sex, and give the teens pamphlets about it, parents often try to get teachers fired if they discuss birth control or even the emotional or physical issues regarding sex. So they really aren't getting educated about birth control, and apparently parents aren't doing their jobs and explaining or discussing these issues either.
In the dark ages when I was in High School (1970s), the clinics at schools all had baskets of condoms to be taken and possibly used with no questions asked. There is a negative religious and conservative backlash in the Trump administration, and they don't even want to keep Planned Parenthood clinics open so women can get breast or cervical exams, or birth control advice. And we have a growing conservative Supreme Court who is trying to overthrow Roe V Wade, the landmark case allowing abortions to women over 18 without parental consent. They actually want to punish women who have abortions and are trying to get health care plans not to pay for birth control. There's a serious dislike of women going on, they don't even want to allow abortion in the case of rape or if having the child will kill her. Many are fighting these archaic ideas.
I would need more than "it is said" to accept either is a fact.
I think, even with love at the onset, a specific event used as reason for marriage is a problem. It can be used as a weapon during the nonthinking emotional point in an argument. When used, it creates animosity and doubt that escalates with each argument. If the reason is a human being, that brings other factors in.
A shotgun marriage is a FORCED marriage. In shotgun marriages, there is no love. People marry each other out of obligation i.e. an unwanted pregnancy. Such marriages are built on lies which subsequently result in divorce. It is smarter for the woman to have the abortion than to endure an unwanted pregnancy & perhaps an unwanted marriage. Shotgun marriages are false in its premises & such marriages will unravel in one way or another. It is best to marry when there is a commonality of goals, aspirations, education, socioeconomic backgrounds, & love. Anything else is wrong......
I agree with you wholeheartedly. It is a forced marriage. I think it can be a problem for the man since he never intended on marrying and starting a family. The woman, I think, would lean towards wanting to start a family. (She goes through pregnancy and childbirth). So when the couple are trying to raise the child, the man(husband and father) might find married life more stressful than his wife.
by tHErEDpILL 8 years ago
Why is the divorce rate so high in America? It usually seas saws every years but always remains at 50% or more. Is divorce the new fad, like having an adopted a foreign child or a owning a tiny dog? I didn't get the memo.
by Dawn Michael 8 years ago
What qualities make for a lasting marriage, with divorce rates at 60% including separation?
by dashingscorpio 12 years ago
Should the “emotionally divorced” be counted among “married couples”?The “divorce rate” is around 50%. Presumably this count does NOT include couples that live in separate quarters of the house, “sexless marriages”, and couples who have lived apart for years without either party filing for divorce....
by dashingscorpio 7 years ago
Is sexual incompatibility a valid reason for ending a marriage?Assuming everything else in the marriage is going fine and the kids are happy.I’m incline to believe most people would opt to cheat rather than go through the divorce process if there has been no change after communicating their needs...
by qwark 13 years ago
The numbers of marriages in the USA is decreasing.Why?
by Peeples 12 years ago
Does the increase in women working have anything to do with the divorce rate?Do you think the change in the amount of women who don't stay home with their families anymore has anything to do with the high divorce rate?
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