I've been having a bad month. Does that mean a worse summer?

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   Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years ago

   I've been having a bad month. I've been to the hospital twice. I've behaved very bad, and I just lost a great deal of points. I'm now considered a fifty-thousand time triple permanent failure by a lot of my peers. I've lost my best friend, gained a friend, and have been demoted socially a trillion times. What do I do? Am I a failure or not?

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      lovetherainposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You are not a failure. See what you can learn from your mistakes, and try to improve.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         You don't think I'm a failure? I think I'm entitled to being a failure because others label me that way.

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            lovetherainposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            If you WANT to call yourself a failure, that's only going to impede your progress at getting things right. I have failed five times this year at trying to quit smoking. Do I feel like a failure? Yes. But I have to keep trying. And I have to keep tellling myself I will do it.

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               Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               Look at my pedigree. I'm an intelligent autistic human being. That gets me 100 points. I've got 13 articles in niche sites. That gets me another 19,000 points each. multiply that by the number of articles that have been viewed by google squared distributed by one article that has gotten over 1,300 google visits in a lifetime, and that makes 10^350 points. My negatives have a total combined point total of 10^10^10^3. So do I think that I'm a failure by looking at my articles? NO SIR!! It's just my behavior that's the problem.

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                  lovetherainposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  Then sart making changes to your behaviour. It's one thing in this life you CAN control.

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      fcmosherposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You ask if you are a failure or not. I don't think you, me, or anyone is ever 100% failure or 100% success. We're all somewhere in between, and we're all constantly fluctuating. Sounds like you're having a tough stretch, but things do tend to even out over time. The long view is your friend.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         You're right. However, I've failed and given up trillions of times. Somebody else makes my decisions. My mom makes my decisions. That's why I'm a failure. Im am 130 quintillion percent failure.

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      Sherry Hewinsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Every day above ground is a good day. You're too young to be a failure; you have plenty of time to get it right.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         I'm too young? I'm the right age to be a failure. In fact, I'm already 12 years a failure. Now, that's something.

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      liesl5858posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You are not a failure Ivan. You are just having a bad time which will improve as the days go by but it depends on how you look at things. We all are having bad times at certain points in our lives but to carry on and move on is the best way, never give up. You are young, you still got time to put things right if you have done wrong. We all make mistakes, no one is perfect remember that.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah, but I want to be as perfect as possible, and that's not going to happen. I'm already under heavy pills. I don't want to leave HubPages just because of a few misjudgments.

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      MizBejabbersposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ivan, you describe yourself as an "intelligent autistic human being". I've known, and even worked with as a coworker, a number of people you describe. These people, including a couple of family members, are all as successful as they allow themselves to be. They do not allow other people to define them. Please stop doing that to yourself. Each day tell yourself that "I am a successful human being, I love myself." It will take awhile, but within a few months, you WILL BE a successful human being in your own eyes. We cannot let other people define ourselves because their definitions are not always in our best interests. Some are well-meaning, but some are not.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         The problem is that I've had a successful past 4 months, plus or minus a few points. This month has been the worst month on record, surpassing May 2011 by 138.5%. This also makers 2018 the worst year on record, and I'm just getting into June. Am I a successful as I want to be? Up to May, yes, but there's no denying that I failed more than I succeeded.

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      RJ Schwartzposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ivan - the concept of being a failure is a false construct of a human civilization that feels a need to measure everything.  I have a son who has autism but i don’t call him autistic - he’s just my son. He faces many of the same fears and concerns that everyone else faces, but society has programmed him to believe he’s inferior because of his autism.  I’ll tell you the same thing I tell him when he’s down (don’t judge me over it) - I say, ‘son, I love you, but you can’t use societal norms to measure yourself.  Don’t ever buy into the labels
      , don’t ever believe you are a failure, and most importantly you need to bring your own sunshine wherever you go’  Stay strong and make your own way through life.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         You're right. As long as I keep thinking that I'm a failure, then I'll fail at everything. BUT, I've proven my critics (at least on this website) wrong.

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            RJ Schwartzposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            So stop thinking you are a failure - build on your successes (such as the ones you are seeing here on HP) and find your niche in life.  The only limitations you have are the walls you build around yourself.

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   theraggededgeposted 7 years ago

   As much as I like Erick (Ivan), I would suggest that people resist getting into the whole 'you're not a failure' discussion as we've had it all before several times. It doesn't seem to help because he enjoys arguing for his limitations. It's frustrating.

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      Ivan Hernandezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I keep making friends on HubPages, and not on Social Media sites. Why?

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   Ladymermaidposted 7 years ago

   You are only a failure if you believe yourself to be one. My theory is that if you have not yet met your goals then you may not have thus far acquired the skills needed to succeed or have not invested the needed time or dedication required to meet the goal (and don't even begin to get me started on external factors - oh but they can be nasty!). Just keep moving forward. Resilience and determination can be your greatest assets. Be content in the moment and treat every task as an adventure.
   
   When I entered college I had a specific goal in mind. I did not achieve it. I revamped my goals numerous times and still I did not succeed at much of what I wanted in my long term goals. When I look back there to where I am now I am somewhat impressed. I am not rich, I am not a professional in any sense of the word, I am not even truly secure in where I currently am at, but I am very content with what I have and what I have accomplished knowing what I faced to get where I am today.
   
   If you enjoy the challenges you face then your life will be a success because you will have enjoyed it. If you believe you are a loser and continually reinforce that fact then your life will indeed be a great loss, not only to yourself but also to others who you may have influenced along the way. Keep playing and enjoy the little victories.

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