Possible Controlling Boyfriend

1. 75

   sassygrrl32posted 5 years ago

   Before I start, I've signed up for online therapy. I've been in offline therapy in the past but due to work I couldn't keep up.
   My BF and I have been living together for 7 months. We're both divorced, no kids. I'm 50, he's 61. Recently, I've noticed traits and behaviours that  I think could be controlling. My ex husband and I work together which he doesn't have a problem with and is friends with my ex but my ex wants nothing to do with him now due to his behaviour. If I try to discuss something that bothers me my BF will only listen for a few minutes then dismisses it or stops listening. If I push it he says he doesn't argue and if I don't drop it it results in a terrible argument which is my fault. He doesn't want me showing any emotion at all and if I do I'm told to go outside and vent to a tree. This results in venting to my friends and family. One of his issues is going to venues where my friends and ex will be. I love to dance(he does too) and many times my friends are at the same places we're at. My BF says we need to be going places where my friends aren't at. I'm just starting to make friends here. We're all so busy we don't get to see each other much. I understand maybe he doesn't want my ex there but my BF expects me to tell my ex not to come to public venues. BUT he says he has no problem with us working together. To make matters worse, his family is very meddlesome. And to a certain degree control his life by getting on something and not letting go until he does what they want. My BF told my ex that his family doesn't like anything he does. They don't like his job(recently he folded to their pressure and took a job without giving his current employer any notice at all), his friends, car, me, nothing. Everything he does is wrong.) 1 of his brothers cheated on his wife with 1 of my BF's GF's. My understanding is he's a pervert. My BF told my ex on labor day(when our terrible fight occurred) that he was having problems with work and family. I don't feel like being his emotional punching bag when issues outside of my control arise. My BF says I'm supposed to follow him and do what he wants. I'm going to be on the road for the next 4 weeks or so but when I go back I'm ready to make my exit if he can't change. Right now, I don't have the money for another place to live and no one I can stay with. For now i'm stuck. My BF also aired his grievances about me to one of my friends and continued to argue when another friend approached me. They're backing off, understandably. Am I wrong? Is this controlling behaviour? What changes could I make to better the relationship/situation? Without giving up my identity and being completely submissive to him because he's the man. Advice?

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2. 61

   FatFreddysCatposted 5 years ago

   My two cents.. that's controlling behavior in a nutshell.
   
   This would be the point where I would say "bull f***ing s**t. I'm outta here."
   
   ...but that's just me. Your mileage may vary.

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3. 58

   Benjamin fritschposted 5 years ago

   Go away dear friend, understanding matter a lot

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4. 75

   sassygrrl32posted 5 years ago

   Thanks for the replies....

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