Standards in Relationships

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   gmwilliamsposted 17 months ago

   
   Lawyer, author, & former contributor to Fox News, Eboni K. Williams, indicated during several interviews that she would never date a bus driver as he wasn't at her educational & socioeconomic level.  She did state that she would date a bus driver if he owned the company.  Several people took umbrage at this, indicating that she was elitist while others, notably Sunny Hostin, another lawyer, agreed with Eboni K. Williams' assessment.   I also agree with Ms. Williams.  Women of high educational & socioeconomic attainment should only enter into relationships or marry men w/either similar or higher educational & socioeconomic attainment.  They should never date or marry men who are less educated & socioeconomically successful than they are-for such will inevitably cause conflict.  Do you agree with this assessment?  Why?  Why not?

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      AliciaCposted 17 months agoin reply to this

      Women should enter into a relationship with or marry men that they love and who love them. I think that’s the overriding consideration.
      
      I also disagree with another point that you’ve made. You say that women should only marry men with “similar or higher educational & socioeconomic attainment.” You’re saying that it’s okay for a man to marry someone of lower “status” than himself but not okay for women.
      
      I think both genders should have the freedom to choose who they want for a life partner.

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      1. 83

         gmwilliamsposted 17 months agoin reply to this

         I never said that it was okay for men to marry someone of lower status.  Never.  What goes for women dating/marrying someone equal or higher also goes for men.   Smart people, regardless of gender, date/marry similar or higher; only people w/low self-esteem date/marry down.    Smart people don't date/marry down.
         
         I believe that women, if they are smart, date, enter into a relationship, &/or marry men who have the same or higher educational & socioeconomic status.   No intelligent women would date, enter into a relationship, &/or marry men who have lower educational & socioeconomic status.

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            AliciaCposted 17 months agoin reply to this

            You did say that “Women of high educational & socioeconomic attainment should only enter into relationships or marry men w/either similar or higher educational & socioeconomic attainment”.

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               DrMark1961posted 17 months agoin reply to this

               I do agree with you but have also read that there is more domestic violence in marriages where the woman is the earner and the husband is less educated and earning less. I think the reason they explained had to do with men needing to feel like they are in power in the home.

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                  AliciaCposted 17 months agoin reply to this

                  Thank you for sharing this information, Dr. Mark. It’s sad.

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                  1. 83

                     gmwilliamsposted 17 months agoin reply to this

                     I have written two articles on why educated, professional women should never date, let alone marry men who are lesser educated.  Such men would pose a problem for such women.  They are an embarrassment or worse to such women. It is analogous to a genius having a relationship with a person who has a below average IQ.  As an educated, professional woman, I would date a man who has a similar, even superior educational & socioeconomic level.   That is what smart educated, professional women do.

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                        Ken Burgessposted 16 months agoin reply to this

                        The education aspect is only one factor.
                        
                        I think what you are missing is the upbringing (Family, Economic, Social & Cultural Values)... and the intelligence inherent in the person.
                        
                        You are not wrong, but many educated people aren't very smart.  Many non-college degree types end up being way more successful.
                        
                        Common Sense... Intelligence... Drive... none of that comes with a College Degree,

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                           Ben716posted 16 months agoin reply to this

                           +1

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               2. 83

                  gmwilliamsposted 17 months agoin reply to this

                  This is indeed true.  There is more abuse on both sides.  Men feel powerless & jealous of the woman's achievement.  Also women who earn more than men don't respect such men.  They view such men as inferiors to be treated any way.  As I have stated, women should marry men of similar, even superior educational & socioeconomic attainment.   There are problems if a woman marries a man who has less education & success levels than she has.  That is what Eboni K. Williams was talking about. 
                  
                  I have seen this firsthand.  There was a registered nurse with a Masters of Nursing Degree.  She married a postal clerk with barely a high school diploma. He had a ninth grade education.  This man was jealous of this woman & tried to sabotage her  psychologically.  When she won an award, he became incensed & beat her.  She was advised never to marry him.  She even dumbed herself down to please him.  Before her marriage, she dated a doctor.  The doctor wanted to marry her but she declined.  The doctor was a nice man.  The postal clerk wasn't.   There were problems throughout the marriage.  She even stated that when the postal clerk died, she was so glad.  She indicated that she could have married better several times.

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   2. 70

      Ken Burgessposted 16 months agoin reply to this

      It depends.
      
      Education does not make one intelligent.
      
      A college degree in many ways shows that person is capable of being compliant and conforming, easy to program and manipulate.
      
      A successful college student must learn through social influence, obedience to group processes, the school environment changing of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
      
      Whether its Einstein or Elon Musk, many of the brightest intellects, and most successful businessmen never received a college degree.
      
      That said, I understand what you are speaking of.
      
      My wife and I have had a successful relationship because we identify/share many of the same experiences and beliefs.
      
      Being the same age we experienced the same things, from what was on TV to what was occurring in the world.  What was impacting our society, our schools, our styles. 
      
      The ability to relate to those things, the ability to reference the Muppet Show and she knows exactly what I am talking about, or when John Lennon was shot, or Desert Sheild or 9/11.
      
      We experienced all those things, more or less from the same age/life experience and economic mindset.
      
      If she had grown up a Rockefeller and I grew up in the projects, there would be a lot less in common.  Regardless of age or education.
      
      Intelligence levels that are roughly the same... that is more important than education.  If you want a healthy, normal, long lasting, Western relationship.
      
      If you go to the Middle East, that doesn't matter, what matters is the status and strength of the man in many parts.
      
      In Iceland, they have a far different outlook to "relationships" and dating.
      
      In China its about being Chinese, then about family status and reputation, then about how rich, then they might worry about education or intelligence... some of those families can trace their heritage back hundreds of years... few Americans can say that.

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      1. 0

         savvydatingposted 16 months agoin reply to this

         I agree. One correction: Elon Musk has a bachelor’s degree, (I believe). He marries & dates actresses and musicians who probably do not have college degrees and who are not geniuses, but who are creative and successful in their own right.
         Long story short, there’s “a lid for every pot” and some people have partners one might not expect them to have.

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   3. 96

      Readmikenowposted 16 months agoin reply to this

      "Women of high educational & socioeconomic attainment should only enter into relationships or marry men w/either similar or higher educational & socioeconomic attainment."
      
      Well, as a person who has been married for a few decades this statement made me shake my head.  I can tell you marriage is a challenging experience.
      
      I would suggest it is more important for a woman to marry a man who treats her with respect, is loyal and values her and everything about her. That is not something that can be determined by a person's education or socioeconomic attainment.
      
      Education and socioeconomic attainment do not make a man be there for his wife during the difficult times and difficult times WILL happen.
      
      What happens if he loses his economic status?  What happens if SHE loses her economic status?  Is that the end of the relationship? Do you love and honor as long as you maintain a certain socioeconomic status? That's ridiculous. 
      
      Spouses get sick, get fired, struggle with things mentally an emotionally. They may make mistakes.  A couple may encounter difficult situations that they have to work together to get past.   
      
      When children are involved, it is not a person's socioeconomic attainment or education that will make them work with their wife on raising children.  It is not their education socioeconomic attainment that will make them remain faithful to their family and not be abusive. 
      
      You see, education and socioeconomic attainment do not guarantee a man is of good character.
      
      Maybe a woman's focus should be to find a man who is respectful, dedicated to her and loves her with all his heart.  During many years of marriage, these are the things that will last a lifetime and become more valuable than anybody's education or socioeconomic attainment.

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         IslandBitesposted 16 months agoin reply to this

         100%

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2. 94

   wildernessposted 17 months ago

   Women who marry primarily for money should never marry a man of lesser economic standards.
   
   Women who marry for love, for family, for positive life experience...they should pay little to no attention to the economic abilities of the man they love.
   
   Hopefully both will find a man using their same standards for his spouse.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 17 months agoin reply to this

      Wrong,  women should marry men who are at their educational & socioeconomic level or higher but never lower.  That is what smart/intelligent women do.  Only women with low self-esttem & a poverty mindset would marry men who are beneath them educationally & socioeconomically.  No woman wants to support a man.  Economic abilities are important. Love isn't important as educational & socioeconomic attainment.  Let's be realistic.  Grown ups know this.

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