Relationships and how to become closer and understand your partner.

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   Tblogerposted 15 years ago

   I had a beautiful girlfriend, National cheerleader, 3rd year psychology student and she was a real glamour. Why did I break up with her? Well I am a male and - I don’t want to stereotype but - There where certain needs I didn’t receive from her. No, we were having sex and doing everything sexually a guy could ever ask for but for some reason that wasn’t enough. I thought it was my fault but then I thought why blame myself when I can blame her, break up with her, sleep around and then get back with her when ever I want, and that’s exactly what I did.
   I am not saying this to toot my own horn; I am sharing this information with you so I can show you what to look out for and how I can help you become closer to your partner.
   The main difference between males and females that I have encountered over and over again is that females are audio and males are visual. A male could cook, clean, spoil you and show his affection visually but then you will still turn over in bed or wherever and want to hear that he loves you. This is not because you don’t think he doesn’t, it’s because you have an underlying insecurity that you feel you need to attend to. Now some might say, what is wrong with wanting your partner to say a couple of words but imagine you just took your partner out on a nice cruise showered them in Champaign and kisses then you come home and your partner wants you to say “I love you” when you where just out all day proving it. Now this has happened to me and I felt crushed, some people say a picture is worth a thousand words well not females that’s for sure.
   Males are visual creatures and that’s why lingerie is made for women not men. Males want to see affection more than hearing a couple of words because any one can say I love but not any one can prove it. And this is sometimes where females trip up a bit in a relationship. Because females love hearing affection they sometimes assume that saying it is enough. While hearing it as a male is sometimes flattering but all feels a bit empty with out proof.
   I’m not saying that you should cook, clean and do all the house chores to show each other your affection because you should both be doing all that any way. I’m also not saying you should go out and spend endless amounts of money on each other to prove it as well. I am saying that you should appreciate each other in your own little way because every couple has a different way. With my girlfriend we started a quote box so every funny thing one of us says we write it down and on Valentines day instead of spending money because companies tells us to we order take in, a couple of drinks and we go through all the funny quotes and it turns out to be one of the funniest days of the year.
   In my next blog I will reveal more about my twisted personal life and show females why guys cheat and how to catch them. Remembering that I am not a psychologist just a guy who has seen and been through a lot and wants to help anyone who needs it.
   Thank you for reading my first blog.

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      china manposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I actually read it all through and I don't think you have been through, or seen, enough to be offering advice - to be honest with you.  This is the same old story I have heard many many times from guys who couldn't make it in a relationship and blame it on the 'other' while their macho tries to keep up the old pecker talk.

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   Pearldiverposted 15 years ago

   WOOOOOOOOWWWWW ....... Thanks so much for sharing Mr T Bloger
   
   Being a Blind Man... I have to say that: You have finally explained why I can't be close to anyone...
   Clearly I have no ability to be a Visual Male as a result of blindness
   
   But.... What should I do?
   Should I have a sex change???
   My hearing is great... so will this help me??
   
   I see (sorry... I mean.. I understand) that you have just joined and worked really hard to offer your great advice to us in a Forum. In this case.. you need to go to the 'Start a new hub' button and then follow the prompts. (No good me giving you directions as I can't see the screen! )
   
   But hey Thanks for giving me some hope mate!! I've always wondered what girls look like.... but never.... you know
   BTW... Welcome to HP.... Have you paid your Christmas Party fees???  If not, then you need to do that before Xmas...
   
   Good Luck.... I look forward to hearing you in the future

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   lyricsingrayposted 15 years ago

   

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4. 80

   Fluffymetalposted 15 years ago

   trust, respect, space, communication

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   donotfearposted 15 years ago

   I think I need a more detailed lesson being that I'm married but have no husband.

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   alexandriaruthkposted 15 years ago

   words whould complement action

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   Lynda Garyposted 15 years ago

   No sarcasm to follow:
   
   You are at a stage in your life where you are, unfortunately, learning some hard lessons.  But you still have much to learn -- and that is not a criticism. It's just evident, from your post.
   
   ALL women are not insecure.  We don't ALL need to hear "I love you," especially after someone has showered us with a cruise and champagne, or a great time in bed.  Those women who DO require it are insecure and/or have trust issues, etc.
   
   You started your post on one topic, then switched mid-way.  That "perfect" girl with whom you broke up was somehow incapable of meeting one of your fundamental needs, it seems.  So, not so perfect?  Maybe there just wasn't that "animal magnatism" even if there was "normal" sex, etc.  Without the passion, going through the act itself -- regardless of whether the two of you performed every conceivable position -- is pointless.  Okay ... not pointless.  But not something you want to live with forever.
   
   Look for a woman who is confident, not perfect.  If you have chemistry with her, she just might become "perfect" over time.  You sound like a true romantic, and women like that.  You just haven't found the right one yet.

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   theblackeditionposted 15 years ago

   Your openness and honesty is really cool Tbloger.  It goes to show that when a person's needs are not met by the significant other, then frustration sets in, and those very needs may met by another.  I'll read your posts for sure.

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