Do you believe that relationships naturally decay over time?

1. 88

   Dakkposted 8 years ago

   Do you believe that relationships naturally decay over time?
   
   In today's society there is this ingrained idea that relationships have a natural tendency to become weaker as the feelings that originated it cool down or even cease to exist. However, there are still many couples that remain together in love for decades on end. Do you believe that relationship decay is a natural tendency? And if it is, can it be avoided?
   
   

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   LoliHeyposted 8 years ago

   Yes, I think they can.  If one person changes over time, the two may not have anything in common anymore.  I think it can be avoided if the two people spend time together--set aside time to be together, like a date night, and communicate.

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      Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It can be avoided, but people need to invest effort into that. Like anything a relationship will die if its not properly nurtured. If a partner has changed over time, then so must the other change his/her effort to maintain the relationship.

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   Liz Bracerposted 8 years ago

   I believe that some relationships decay overtime but that's because of busy life with kids and work and social problems.  But that is only if the relationship was never really strong from the beginning.  If you love someone so much that you decide to marry them, have kids with them, want to spend the rest of your life with them, I don't believe that it would just decay. It might settle itself, meaning It doesn't stay as young love, it matures as life goes on.

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      Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yea, a relationship isn't a static entity. It needs to evolve. If people just stop caring because the relationship has stabilized then of course things will start to decay.

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      Coolbreezingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The question in this case is what were the original interest behind the feelings shared between couples. If we're talking about an adult relationship then love is predomenantly cultivated by a given set of interest. If we're talking about a child rel

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   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   I believe it take effort to avoid relaxing and taking each other for granted. One adage is:
   "We treat the (new) better than the (tried and true)."
   This tends to happens whether it's a new job, new car, or new relationship. Early on we make it a point to do whatever we can maintain things at their highest level.
   However as the years roll by we tend to "slack off".
   In the beginning when he/she got their new car they told their friends/family: "No eating or drinking in my car." They had it washed & waxed every weekend along with getting detailed every six months. Three years later it looks like a grenade went off in it and the body has an inch of dirt.
   When they got that new job they showed up to work 20 minutes early bright eyed and bushy tail ready to take on the day. Five years late they stroll in 20 minutes late and when a co-worker teases the about he/she says: "They're LUCKY I showed up!"
   In the beginning of a new relationship people bend over backwards to be agreeable with someone whom they are infatuated with. The word "no" almost does not exist. Surprises, gifts, and cards are done "just because". An effort is made to look one's best, be positive, and encouraging. At the start of the relationship when a guy arrived at his girlfriend's home she asked him if he wanted something to eat.
   Five years later he asks: "Would you make me a grilled ham and cheese sandwich?" Her reply: "You got two hands fix it yourself! I worked all day just like you!" You know where the refrigerator is...."
   Several years ago a woman on HP started:
   "I'm so glad not be in that whole {dating scene}; always having to worry about how you look, what to say, and do. When you get married it is what it is."
   It's like losing weight just to look good in your wedding photos while (knowing) you have no intention of making it a lifestyle change.
   Unfortunately I believe a lot of folks agree with her mindset. They believe commitment means "job security" that allows them to {stop} doing all the things that won their mate's heart without the fear of them leaving or cheating. 
   If you stop showing up for work you get fired, stop paying your mortgage you lose your home, stop paying your car note it's reprocessed, stop doing just about anything in life and you're bound to incur negative consequences.
   A relationship is like a garden. If you fail to nurture it then it dies.
   Note: A gardener doesn't call maintenance "work".
   It's a "labor of love".
   It's easier to maintain a fire than it is to reignite a spark!

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      Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      This is pretty much what I think. A lot of people answer with surprise when I tell them that me and my girlfriend is going strong as ever. You can't just stop charming your loved one just because the relationship has become stable.

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      Carol Morrisposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I love your answer.  I would add that over time you need to put in more work, especially when and if things aren't going as well as they once did. If you want your relationship to work  you need to put a lot of effort into it.

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      Coolbreezingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I've read your hub about relationship decay. However, it would be apparent to me if behavioral patterns changes overtime it because the way the couple once saw one another changes . 
      
      Now, there are different reasons why feelings may change overtime

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      Billie Kelpinposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      There are a myriad of reasons why relationships fail.While there is comfort in DS's answer there is another truth.Sometimes there r reasons we will never know or understand that cause marriages to end.Good marriages are blessings, not accomplishments

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      shinbewitchedposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Its nice

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      Besarienposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Married nearly twenty years and agree completely. Too many expect their relationship to be some effortless happily-ever-after fairytale. In real life, everything worthwhile requires hard work.

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   Ms.Wakeelahposted 8 years ago

   I believe that some relationships can decay over time if one or both people stop putting the time and effort into maintaining a strong relationship. I think if people communicate with each other and make a serious effort to give the other person what they need this can be avoided. Great question!

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   cam8510posted 8 years ago

   Living things don't decay, dead things do.  So keep the relationship alive.  Every living thing needs nourishment, and that is true about relationships as well.  Working together on home projects has long been considered the fast way to divorce court, but I disagree.  If goals, methods and means are discussed, these projects can feed the relationship.  Playing together is another way to nourish relationships.  It might be as simple as going for walks, but could be as ambitious as skydiving or white water kayaking.  Most of all, keep talking and sharing from the heart.  Nothing breaths life into a relationship like honesty and openness.

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      Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I feel people have a tendency to forget just how important the small things are. While commitment is certainly important by itself, the feelings need to be nourished in order to keep everyone happy.

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      Kylyssaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      These are all excellent points. My partner and I play together and create together, and I believe that's why our relationship works.

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   Ghazwa Irshadposted 8 years ago

   No the relationship never decays. Our feelings never decay. Sometimes the grudge of complications and arguments just blur our eyes of feelings. so if you feel like it decaying over time and its natural. Then you need to clean the grudge and see the bigger picture.

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   RenWritesposted 8 years ago

   It depends on the individuals. I think if they are not open to new things and do the same things everydy then yes the relationship will decay. We should consider our relationships as friendships too, don't be so serious.. If you are adventurous then everyday is like a new day, new experience so it never gets old. Hence, the relationship stays fresh. Go on road trips, learn a new language, learn to salsa or tap dance. Just keep doing new things.

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   Edward J. Palumboposted 8 years ago

   The nature of relationships will change because people and their priorities change. That's not necessarily a disappointing development. Change (growth) need not damage or impact the relationship. We learn new skills or we advance in our education or work environment, and we share those lessons or insights with our spouse. My wife and I have been married for 33 years, and we are no longer the young couple we were, but we remain encouraging, supportive, appreciative, and time has given us new reasons to love each other. We've raised two children to independent adulthood and we're very pleased with the people they've become and, in many ways, with the people we've become in the process. Expect change, expect growth, and continue to encourage each other. A relationship must be nurtured or fed, like a campfire, to continue to burn brightly. Communicate clearly with each other. There are aspects of the relationship to which we grow accustomed, but make that a reason for deeper appreciation and not something to be taken for granted. Challenge yourself to find new ways to express that appreciation, new ways to value what you have together. Do not permit distraction or disagreement to erode the relationship. Maintain a sense of humor, and set time aside for each other. Encourage and facilitate each other's hobbies and interests. Share or support the enthusiasm your spouse expresses in areas of interest. It is human to let one day blend into another over time, but a relationship should not be a treadmill. Don't quench the spark of enthusiasm before it finds ways to express itself. If your individual interests differ and you can't actively assist, find ways to provide room and time for growth in new directions. I cannot operate a sewing machine, I'm not a gardener, and I have no training in music, but I appreciate all that my wife accomplishes and the ways it colors my world. Plan the mini-vacations together, enjoying the quiet walks and sunsets together.
   Parenting is a team effort. Do not make it a competition. Discuss and refine your parenting philosophies, and be mutually supportive and consistent in your decisions. Do not criticize each other in the presence of others, but discuss WHAT is right, not WHO is right. Allow for error since, in my opinion, error is inevitable, but rely on each other's skill or insights. Never lose sight of the validity of your loved one's opinions and discuss your differences with each BEFORE they become problems.

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      Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Indeed. Having kids only puts emphasis on the necessity for cooperation in couples. I haven't gone into the subject of the effect kids can have in a relationship in that hub since I have no experience with it, but the input is very appreciated.

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    krischavezposted 8 years ago

    I think relationships falling of because sometimes couples were too busy and have no time with each other, so they think that the spark between the two of them are gone. I have my boyfriend and as the time goes by that we are together, there is no more excitement, because we are very too much comfortable with each other. We do not make the day so special, sometimes we just watch cinema or eat dinner outside, after that there's no more other activities, sometimes I get bored, there is no thrill, there is no excitement, sometimes I think we are very too busy with our work, I work as an admin and he works in a government. But what's good is that, we are still together, maybe because of Love? Every time that i feel that our relationship has no spark, or nonsense I just go back to the days where we're happy, and to the thoughts of why I love this man. I wanted to save our relationship and wanted to end together.

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    Clair Leitneyposted 8 years ago

    Once you get married surely your relationship wouldn't be that excited as when you were dating. But this is also a new stage where there is less passion but more trust in each other. Still, that's not the case for everyone. I guess with time your spouse can be drawn to somebody else but that all depends on whether daily routines can kill your relationship or not. But still this depends on particular persons. There couples who have lived together for 50 years and they still love each other deeply as though they were young. And there are those who after living for a couple of month together understand marrying wasn't the best choice for them. Passion yes, love no. So if a relationship is based on love, it won't decay over time.

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       Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I agree. A real relationship can't just base itself off that those young feelings that you get when you start to date someone. They need to evolve over time as you get to know your partner better.

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       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       There is a big difference between fleeting passion and real love. When all is said and done, it is respectfulness that keeps love alive. However, if someone is a real jerk, respectfulness is not a given.

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    Manjunath7472posted 8 years ago

    I think as relationship progresses responsibilities increases and that may mask the freshness of the relationship.Relationship will be strong if both cultivated "Never Let Go" kind of Mindset and if one wants to go the other has to stop him/her keeping the EGO aside and try to reach each other's expectations.This may help Staying together.

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    JDWilhiteposted 8 years ago

    In any relationship the initial attractions fade over time.  That is why it is so destructive to base a long term commitment on feelings alone.  Love is a choice.  And that choice must be made routinely to keep a relationship viable - otherwise we end up being two people just occupying similar space.  The emotional connections will continue to manifest at even deeper more special times if we make the choice to love rather than expect the emotional high of a new relationship to continue through time.

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       dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       However isn't making an (effort) a choice too?
       If (both people) want/expect the same thing initial attraction doesn't have to fade. Maybe romance/passion aren't a priority for some folks. It may mean they chose the wrong mate for themselves. hmm

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       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I like your answer, JD. Your approach is very mature and realistic.

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    savvydatingposted 8 years ago

    I once met a man who had been married five times. He told me that, “this time around,” he believes he “got it right.” He stated that he finally learned how important it is to buy his wife flowers. He said that simple little action made all the difference.
    
    In relating this story, the point I am making is that a relationship will decay if we forget to do all the “sweet” little things we used to do when we first met. Just because time has passed and he or she has stuck around, that doesn’t mean we no longer have to do anything to keep the fire burning, so to speak. Even a steady ember is good and well in that it brings a certain comfort.
    
    I would disagree with anyone who states that just because his wife gained twenty pounds, she’s now unfit to be his wife. “Non.” (As the French would say) This merely means she may be gaining weight due to her medication or that her husband needs to take her by the hand and say, “We’re going for a brisk walk honey.” “Come on, let’s hold hands.”
    
    Same with women. She should do things to be pretty. Even a little thing like pulling her hair up on top of her head at the end of the day, and letting the tendrils fall around her face, shows her husband that she still cares about her appearance…
    
    Also, we have to keep flirting. Flirting does wonders for the soul. Love and commitment should be as natural as breathing air. Anyway, you get the gist. We don’t have to become body builders or keep a steady supply of Viagra in the medicine cabinet. We just need to charm each other naturally. That is what keeps love alive. In time, this (romantic) habit becomes ingrained into the couples life….and they don’t have to worry about “decay.”
    
    However, if couples take each other for granted or become too nit-picky, then resentment will cause the decay of the relationship.

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       dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Excellent points especially regarding flirting.
       I often wonder why so many people only regulate it towards strangers and budding new romances. Flirty & playful behavior helps keep to the magic alive. Everyone wants to feel desired!

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       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Right?? We should flirt until our dying breath. It's good for us.

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       Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Agreed. Plus, this isn't the 19th century, just because you age, it doesn't mean you should become a saintly analogue. Anyway, I'll be working on a hub on this soon and I'll be using the best answers for this question on it, if permission is given.

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       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       If you like my answer, you have my permission to allude to it in your new hub. Looking forward to reading it.

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       vink21778posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Hey Savvy, can we have coffee together?
       Anyways,Your Answer is one of the best.

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       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Well....maybe if I ever get to India.

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       vink21778posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Sure, I am looking forward to it. I really do mean it.You are most welcome.

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    roselinsojanposted 8 years ago

    If we are attracted by the other ones outer beauty or false personalty then it will end no doubt. but if we give importance to the good character and find and love&marry,such relationship will last long till death.

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    CYong74posted 8 years ago

    I think they are many stages in any relationship. A stage decays, so to speak, before entering the next. It's when people understand the decaying wrongly, that relationships fail.

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    Shirl Urso-Farmerposted 8 years ago

    I think the answer requires that the question be qualified a little... If you ask if a car will break down over time, the answer is yes and no; it depends on the things you do or don't do to maintain that car to keep it running. If you put little to no effort in the car to keep it working, eventually the things that were small issues will become big issues, and with a chain reaction, will cause other parts to fail, and it'll be ready for the junkyard in no time - just like a marriage. If you take the same car and you put more effort into maintaining it when it's older, versus when it was new (and didn't require all the extra attention,) it will possibly run forever.. like a marriage. Neither will ever 'run' perfectly, but you can avoid a total breakdown by the care you give...This is the only analogy that came to mind because my car needs work, lol

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    ForLoveofCupcakesposted 8 years ago

    No I don't, but both husband and wife have to put effort into it to keep it alive and thriving!

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    DDEposted 8 years ago

    A relationship can decay if one loses interest in their partner. Couples who remain together for decades is sometimes for different reasons. It doesn't always mean their relationship is still alive. Some couples are still together to make others think they are happy and still have it for each other. Whereas, such relationships are long gone. In time a relationship can decay if one of or both partners take each other for granted. The special moments fade and they don't see  anything until one says goodbye.

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       Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Yep. There are many relationships which only keep a thin mask of being alive in order to not cause problems for the kids or startle the family, but are very much dead on the inside. This is the reason we see old people divorcing at 60 or even 70.

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    Chris Harvinposted 8 years ago

    I will never forget the analogy used in a premarital course in 2012: responsible people have routine service performed on their vehicles. They also get routine check ups at the doctor's office. Relationships also require routine service to keep the flame burning. Be intentional, because it takes two; and will not happen on its own. Peace & blessings.

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    joycemanuelposted 8 years ago

    No. I believe that the couple are what makes the relationship works. They have to stand for each other. They should understand each other. They are the ones who has the capability to work on for their relationship.

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    micKien07posted 8 years ago

    Before entering into a relationship, couples should make sure that intimacy or that feeling called 'love" is really there. This is a lifetime commitment. However, we cannot deny that after marriage, couples will really have doubts about their relationship, and with that-one thing is needed, working it out, again and again. Decay in a relationship is nothing to be worried to as long as each partner is working in their status, that decay thing can be avoided. Remember, there is no PERFECT marriage or relationship but there can be a happy one.

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    Susan Hambidgeposted 8 years ago

    I don't think it is unavoidable.
    I think too many people take from another (whether that is a romantic relationship, a plutonic one or a neighbourly one).
    
    I believe if you give more, then the relationship lasts and lasts and is a joy to be in.
    
    I don't mean give flowers, I mean give attention, care, thoughts and love. If you give, you aren't there with your hands on your hips saying 'it's not fair'!!!
    
    I have been married for 27 years. My husband gives me time, patience, care, a cuppa each evening, a news paper each Sunday, a kiss before he leaves the house, a phone call if he is late ...
    
    I give him his favourite beer, a cuppa every morning, time to watch his favourite sports, nursing when he is sick, I cut the grass because he hates this chore, quiet time when he is stressed ....
    
    Little things ....

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       Traveller004posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Wow!  You're married.  And it's a good one.  I'm truly happy for you and your hubby.

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    bowlinsposted 8 years ago

    
    
    I’ve been married for 17 years.  Our relationship is not as exciting as it was 17 years ago or even 10 or 5 years ago – it has evolved into a different and more meaningful relationship/friendship.  The level of comfort in our marriage is very high at this point, no more cute pajamas or vacation days spent in bed.  We have high expectations of each other and often forget to remind the other one that we appreciate them. We argue and sometimes forget to make up – in fact sometimes we forget that we were arguing.
    
    What we have now, I wouldn’t trade for our early years of flowers, gifts, surprises and vacations for anything in the world.  I have my best friend. I have someone to talk to after work, to fight with and then snuggle up with at bedtime. I have someone who tells me I’m hot when I’m walking around in my sweatpants and yesterday’s makeup.  Most of all, I have someone that I share my life with – my memories of yesterday, my today and my tomorrow.  All that happened to us without us even knowing!

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       jeffduffposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I and my wife have been married for 22 years and I agree with your entire comment - just from the point of view of the Ol' Grumpy Bear !

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       savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       That's awesome, Sandra. Your life is real.

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       Priyanka Jain09posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I loved your reply. It's true, what I feel is, relationship becomes more natural with time. Rather than leading it with surprises, expectations and gifts you start living it and loving it.

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       Snarky Puppyposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       What was once romantic love is bound to evolve into a partnership of equality. I feel it is important to show your best side at first, but as the relationship progresses into a mature love, it's necessary to want to feel at ease.

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    Emma Chitwoodposted 8 years ago

    I do think that some relationships will decay if not cared for properly. A relationship is a living, breathing entity that if not nurtured and fed it will die. Whether that means spending time together doing the small things that you both enjoy or taking the very large steps in life that are so scary and stressful that in the end you know you wouldn't want anyone else by your side.
    Occasionally, people are lucky enough to find that person within the first 18 years of their life. While others may be found later. My cousin has been with her now husband since they were in the 5th grade. They were married 4 years ago and she is now 25 years old with a wonderful 18 month old boy who is the joy of their life. They have already taken huge leaps and bounds with buying their first home, opening a business, having a family.
    In contrast to that, I am 27 years old. Just now getting married. (2 severely failed relationships later). The two exes were so wrong for me, but I didn't know that at the time. The first was simply a very lazy and arrogant person who did not care about my feelings in any regard. The second was extremely possessive and obsessive about every little thing I happened to be doing. If I didn't answer the phone he would call 20 more times until I answered. He also lived in North Dakota while I was still living in Oregon. Absence did NOT make the heart grow fonder.
    In conclusion, sometimes a relationship that decays is unavoidable no matter how hard you try. If the other person feels the same and wants to make sure the relationship continues to grow then it will. My fiancé and I were introduced by mutual friends who knew before we met that we were destined to be together. 3 years later and now we are getting married and ready to take the next steps in our lives. I will continue to support his ideas and plans just as much as he will support mine. We are fortunate enough to have a friendship as well as a relationship. He is my best friend and I can't imagine my life without him. Which also means I will do whatever it takes to make sure our relationship always thrives.
    "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
    1 Corinthians 13 http://biblehub.com/esv/1_corinthians/13.htm

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       Maria Patskaliovaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Very profound answer! I agree with every word!

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       Julie Nouposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       A great answer Emma! Love is a two-way street, a dance for two. Your testimony reminded me of my ex likewise. In a way, the effort is what makes the relationship alive. Many divorces happen because the other one just decided to "stop responding"...

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    Aditya Chafekarposted 8 years ago

    No, relationship decay is not a natural tendency. It depends upon a individual. One should respect each other's differences, that is the best way to live happily forever. We should concentrate on positives only. We should not complain and expect much.Compromise and understanding nature is also the key to happiness. If it is not working even though, we should think that why the Lord has made us couple ?The answer is to spread positivity, happiness, joy.The main purpose of life is to find your strength and becoming stronger and stronger.Life is very beautiful and blessing if we learn to live.

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    Sulabhaposted 8 years ago

    Well, friendship could but not a good marriage
    I agree with savvydating to a great extent.
    Also, there has to be commitment, caring attitude, good health and a little bit of romance.
    As we grow old, we tend to neglect ourselves or take our partner for granted. In India, it happens very often.
    That's where things go wrong.

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    Kiss andTalesposted 8 years ago

    Well interesting question ! As I consider the answer I notice you said relationships , and you show a picture of a man and woman. But I feel all relationships are special. Man and Woman , family , friends. I think I can cover one basic common importance to them all as we have relationships.
    Ge 2:18 And Jehovah God went on to say: “It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.”
    Here we see that the Heavenly  Father was concern about the man not being alone .he quoted " not good" So Eve was a complement of him.
    The point is this never changed ,people around the world have relationships of many kinds.
    Now rather they last depends on many things.
    Example of the story of a camp fire was told me years ago.
    A fire to keep warm and give light is a nice and cozy feeling sitting around it with your family and friends,
    How the fire keeps its wonderful glow of light and heat ?
    Logs have to keep it burning .
    Those logs may come in different sizes and shapes and weight .
    But can it keep burning on its own? No it can not,  it must be maintained by continuing to put logs in the fire . To keep the wonderful experience working.
    At a camp fire sure one can do all the log work and get tired ! But it is much more wonderful when help is added to the work allowing some one to join you in keeping the fire aglow. Not letting it die out to ashes .
    Relationships take work to maintain as well if we never put energy into them with care they can die out too ! We should also never mix chemicals in fires that can leave and explosion of danger to those that enjoy a wonderful safe experience.  Meaning everybody is not for everybody in chemistry everything does not mix together or was meant to mix together even though it's appearance looks innocent. Can be toxic in the aftermath
    So people need to know what they are mixing before the mix. Learn about this person before you commit to a relationship.
    Next jealousy is a green eyed monster never take or desire another's mate because you want that experience.
    What works for another or fit another can be toxic to you.
    Like peanuts to some people. Some enjoy it. But others have been known to die from peanuts.
    
    
    Last! 1Co 7:28 28 But even if you did marry, you would commit no sin. And if a virgin [person] married, such one would commit no sin. However, those who do will have tribulation in their flesh. But I am sparing YOU.
    Tribulation will always come but love is greater.

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    Snarky Puppyposted 8 years ago

    Great and fun thread, Guilherme!
    
    Personally, I like to differentiate between love based on palpable bliss/cajolery and romantic love. The former is a sort of love that usually comes from an exhilarating experience and is a very naive and superficial form of love; many call this the "honeymoon phase." (rose-coloured glasses perspective)
    
    Partners in a serious, romantic relationship act in tandem, address individual and relationship concerns and the individuals view themselves as autonomous beings sharing a connection that transcends that which is felt in the honeymoon phase.
    
    To me, this is rarely seen in couples nowadays. Usually reality kicks in at the 6-month mark and everything becomes less rose-tinted.

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    Happylovejoyposted 8 years ago

    As with everything in life, we need to put in effort. I think we can't expect unconditional love in (most) relationships.. As the relationship continues, we depend a lot on our deep understanding of each other's needs and personalities, forgiveness, humor (super important to me), support to keep going. And all these require effort.
    
    Of course there are situations where someone can put in a lot of effort on the relationship but it doesn't work anyway because the partner has simply lost interest/ fell out of love. Human emotions are very complex so it's hard to explain everything that we feel or do.

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    mactaversposted 8 years ago

    My grandmother gave me this advice before my marriage in 1966.  "When one is sour, the other stay stay sweet."  My mother's advice was "Bad news goes down better after a good dinner."  My Lord's advice is "Love one another."  All their advice worked because last month, we celebrated 50 years of marriage.

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       Abeer Aliposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I LIKE THIS

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    2. 93

       cam8510posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Love it

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32. 0

    hubber8893posted 8 years ago

    I think it depends upon the couple in relationship. Everything needs a change, so is the case of relationship. I mean to say that the person who make variable efforts to romance,  treat and interact with his/her partner can manage the relationship smoothly over time without any loosening in this bond of attachment. While the person feeling obessed of trying something new to entertain the soul mate is sure to have facing the weakness of this eternal and secret bond of affection.
    I firmly adher by this statement as I have personally indulged in such sort of situation.

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33. 69

    Coolbreezingposted 8 years ago

    It will depend on what the relationship is based on. A loving relationship isn't base on sex alone. It is also about the mental perception of those we fall in love with. A true loving relationship is a mental attraction to a heart felt sensation. A sexual relationship is a sexual attraction to a heart felt sensation. There is a difference there. The former enjoy a good conversation that is thought provoking and stimulating. The latter would rather their mate not  communicate during sexual pleasure mainly because their mental perception on life isn't align. But when one is the educator and the other the student the possibility exist where a union may be possible.
    
    Relationships are also based on interest when there's shared responsibilities and opportunities. The relationship decay with time when the interest that held the relationship intact is threaten or no longer applied
    
    A relationship with someone does not have to be sexual. It could be a friendship that is built around an idea. People become friends because they share the same ideas and principles not necessarily because they wish to engage in sexual contact.
    
    We can share difference sexual preference and still remain friends if indeed the social condition of life permits it.

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34. 49

    dragonangel16137posted 8 years ago

    I feel that yes they can decay over time.  I know that we are to love one another and try to make it last especially if kids are involved.  But when you get with someone esp if you are younger and grow with each other, your ideas of what you want out of life can change and you can grow apart.  if you can find that one person that you feel you can grow with in ALL walks of life and stay with that person, then you def found the best one for you.

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       Dakkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       Finding the right person is def important, but you should always remember that you also play a huge part in making relationships work! Also, sorry everyone if I haven't been very active here lately, kinda sick.

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35. 73

    Siva222posted 8 years ago

    Love goes through a lot of phases before it really evolved. Knowing each other, then understanding each other, then trusting each other and then comes loving each other. what people feel usually is an infatuation which evaporates once the hard reality hits the beautiful relationship. The love which endures the test of time stays for long and is ever lasting. This is my thought.

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36. 39

    sumitnabhamposted 8 years ago

    At one point relationship do become weaker with time.
    
    But, leaving out is not the solution of the problem.
    
    It is better to take short vacations, go out for dining to make your relationship alive and kicking.

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37. 62

    Efoghor Josephposted 8 years ago

    It all depends on the mindsets of the key players. Relationships do not decay, though they can sometimes become boring or the persons involved can become over-familiar with one another.
    
    However, it takes some efforts and personal sacrifices to keep relationships alive. There are several relationships out there that have lasted for decades and still exist as though they are just starting off. If there are no ulterior or selfish motives, relationships will definitely last forever. But if the intention is to gain one thing or the other from your partner, the relationship will collapse if the target is not met or if the point of attraction is removed.

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38. 51

    Leigh Moirposted 8 years ago

    In a way, yes, but relationships tend to go through various stages. Speaking generally, relationships start with a 'spark' of excitement, and this is what draws people together. Then after a while, naturally, the couple get bored of each other.
    
    A simple way to get over this is by continuing to treat your partner in the same way throughout the relationship, as you did at the beginning. Also, if you keep experiencing new things together, this can be refreshing.
    
    -L

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    manatita44posted 8 years ago

    Yes, it is natural. Again, like you, and perhaps because I work in a hospital, I have seen couples who have been married for 50, 60 and nearly 80 years or more. I met a couple once, the husband was 101 and the wife 99 years old, the flame of love still burning brightly in their hearts.
    
    There are different reasons for this, one of them being Karma. Again, through the process of re-incarnation, some people have met before and were or have been fortunate to re-connect.
    
    Now spiritually, all things are ephemeral, transitory, fleeting ... Love is the only constant, and even this is transcending Itself all the time. Man's quest is not for desire, but for Love, inner fulfillment, call it what you will. I'm not speaking of carnality or sensual love, but something eternal, immortal and infinite.
    
    So yes, prior to this, all things wither, decay and die. Nice question.

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    ian 12amposted 8 years ago

    Relationships do not decay.  They simply evolve. How they end up in the long run depends on how the partners handle each other.  Those that have uneven distribution of power are more likely to go down the drain, while those in which the partners treat each other with respect and mutual understanding are likely to thrive and grow into a beautiful love story

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    Tusitala Tomposted 8 years ago

    That's a rather vague question.  The photograph depicts one particular type of relationship, the romantic one between a couple.  This generally changes with time.  The word 'decay' has a negative connotation.   The inference is that it is 'dying' not 'changing.'
    
    In some cases the result of the change is a separation.  We know this happens a lot.  Yet there are many relationships which might gradually lose their romantic gloss but take on something far deeper, a linking 'soul to soul.'   There might no longer be great sexual intimacy, but that has given way to a closeness, a trusting and loyalty which quite likely wasn't there at an earlier time.
    
    So, do relationships between a couple decay over time?  Some do.  Other do not.

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       Traveller004posted 8 years agoin reply to this

       You are a wise man.

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    word55posted 8 years ago

    If it lasts for a long time then it shouldn't naturally decay. A relationship is to get better with time of every day. It'll only decay if you let it grow away.

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    emgeposted 8 years ago

    Relationships are complex, but all have a degree of sex and passion involved. Invariably these relatinships like marriage cool off after some time. That's the reason Islam solved this problem for the man with multiple wives, but I am afraid there is very little for the woman. Historically marriages always cool off but a healthy friendship can be a good substitute.

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       Pearl Williamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

       I'm pearl williams, me and my husband was diagnosed with Hepatitis b  in 2011,  my doctor said there's no cure for Hepatitis b.we spent a lot of money on medication till one day , I saw someone post about Dr BONGANI,so many people was talking about H

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44. 56

    Smriti Tikooposted 8 years ago

    yes indeed people often fall out of the love they earlier cherished within their hearts owing to the fast pace life, demanding jobs , change in the living standards , company of people we interact with and the evolving mindsets .Unlike the previous generations the Genx believes in letting go rather than holding on to something which has lost its charm and poise .Mutual settlement are looked forward to  in order to avoid dirty disputes . Most of the individuals suddenly find themselves becoming a drag and look for ways to opt out for.A relationship which ties one down to another person for till death do us apart can frighten a lot of individuals in the midway of their blooming relationship . In the end all i can say is relationship is  like any other job which needs hardwork , committment and innovation from time to time to spice up the curry you once loved bland .Its a hot soup which turns cold over the period of time so to keep it warm one needs to invest their time money and labour .One can prevent the damage from happening by covering the crevices with affection, care and love otherwise a dooms day is what awaits you .

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    suraj punjabiposted 8 years ago

    relationship can decay over time. which is why you need to keep working on it. Similar to brushing your teeth. If you do not brush and take care of your teeth eventually it will decay very fast.
    
    Always work your differences and be yourself. It takes love, understanding and sacrifice.

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46. 60

    Travel'n Personposted 8 years ago

    Relationships that last go through changes over time.  They have their up and down moments and sometimes end up closer later in life.  I think this is because life does not stand still.  You change jobs, move from one home to another, raise children, have the proverbial "In good times and in bad" and "better or worse" and "Sickness and health" and those all affect the relationship.  I've been married over 30 years, raised children, and been through many life changes but in the end I'm still close to my wife even though the relationship is different because we're different.

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    lisavanvorstposted 8 years ago

    Yes I do believe over time relationships can decay. Is it avoidable? Well that depends on the two people in the relationship and do they both want to work at keeping it strong? If both do not work to keep it strong, than it cannot be avoided. Relationships overtime have a tendency to go down hill, not up and relationships are work in a different sort of way. Once one person gives up on the relationship, than it just ends. Sad, but true.

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48. 78

    James-wolveposted 8 years ago

    They say relationships never die a natural death. They are always murdered by Attitude, Behavior, Ego, or Ignorance.Time has nothing to do with any relationship.

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    MovieMattposted 8 years ago

    They do if you don't continually work to keep it going.  So yes, it is a natural tendency, because most people are naturally, selfish, lazy, etc.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  You can strive to be selfless, and think of others to keep those relationships strong. If you stop, you're going backwards.

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    Dhipposted 8 years ago

    It has barely anything to do with the status quo of society. Everyone who was ever in love knows that, if the feeling was mutual of course, the intensity decreases after a few weeks.. The degree by which the intensity decreases might be different for everyone , but it decreases nevertheless. The best thing you can hope for after the love fades, is that you have found your best friend and you are willing to make a commitment to stay with her/him, despite the fact what hollywood taught you about love. Unromantic but true.

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