I am not good at marriages! Being a single mother in the past, I learned to depend on myself to take care of my daughter and I. 3 years and 3 children later, I still find myself in that "Single Mother State of Mind". My husband has completely checked--out. We are like roommates raising children. He on the couch, myself in the master.
Am I naive to think that Marriage is happiness. Our resentment for eachother has escalated into an uncontrollable wild fire. I am angry at myself for thinking that I could depend on him. His insecurity is so unattractive. I cannot bring myself to be around him. We are around eachother 24 hours a day. His controlling behavior makes me want to run far away and never look back!
He cannot / will not work until he has served his probation on ridiculous DUI charges, which I will not get into details because it angers me the way the authorities went about the arrest. Small Towns---Small Minds.
I now find myself back in the Single Mom Role--looking for a job, thinking of only myself and my children.....
I came across this and thought I would post a reply even though it was 2 weeks ago that you posted. I am myself a single mother and I choose to be single for numerous reasons.
Firstly, I like my own space and it drove me crazy to have to cook and clean after another adult and then have to sleep with their annoying habits aagghh and that leads me to another point. Why do couples have to sleep together night after night? Is it because it has always been that way? Well hello let's change the rules and sleep seperately and snuggle when the feeling is right!!! lol
I was married and my relationship got to the point where I felt I had to ask permission to go out with friends because he was so insecure. You know what, I thought why do I have to suffer because of his issues? Why do I have to pick up after him, why do I have to walk around on egg shells? You are right about insecurity being unattractive, I got to a point where I couldn't even look at him as his own issues made him so unattractive. I decided I didn't want to live like this and more importantly I didn't want my daughter to believe this is what a relationship is all about. I have played to single mom now for over 3 years and I have never been happier. Now I am not saying that all women should do the same, I am sure there are a lot of happy and healthy loving relationships. Marriage is just not for me, I love my life and have so many wonderful friends both male and female and as I said I couldn't be happier.
I have so much respect for women who decided enough is enough and play the single mom role. It is tough at times but it shows just how tough we can be. Goodluck and if you need to chat let me know. It can be easier to talk to others who have been in the same situation.
by HUGS4AZ 6 years ago
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