Is it ever right to ask a single mother to loan you money?
Isn't her money for her family? Married couples,couples,friends and family alike have borrowed money from me and I've yet to be repaid.
Actually I never loan out what I can't afford to lose,but they still come back even after never repaying what they already owe. My answer now is NO!
I'm a single parent and my only responsibility is to my household and the family within..
I have never asked, but really in this day and age, I don't think borrowing or lending and complaining about it work either. I don't like to borrow or lend. If a friend needs help with money, I will give them a gift, because when I would loan money out, I never was paid back and I have given up friendships because of not being paid back. I would say to be careful, but that's just me.
Like any other person loaning out money is done out of good will regardless whether you are single mother,widow,couples..if at all they donot pay you then maintain your stand and say No...as you stated it.
If the person in question is financially buoyant enough why not?
I don't believe people take into account one's "marital status" when asking for a loan. Generally speaking they will ask anyone whom they believe has money. Without knowing what your income is it's possible a single mother may be earning a six figure salary. Halle Berry is a single mother! :-)
It wouldn't surprise me if she has family and friends asking her for money.
I don't think it is right to ask any friend to loan you money, whether single, married or from the moon. Borrowing from friends has all kinds of complications attached. When my husband was a missionary on a Rez in Wyoming, we used to have one gal that borrowed money from us. It became such a habit, that finally the last time she asked, "I said, oh no, I was just going to ask if I could borrow from you this month." She never asked again. (BTW it wasn't for food or anything, but cigarettes,)
I agree with Jadedlover sister, you give what you can so it doesn't upset the relationship. One guy had trouble with his father because he loaned money he needed and couldn't get it back! My big brother taught me that, don't lend give what you can! Take care and learn to say no, please...
Of course it's right to ask if you need to borrow the money - from a single mother or not as it's up to her to decide if she can afford (or want for that matter) to loan you some or not. To be fair if a single mother has a business prospering very well, she might have much more money than a couple So it's not the question whom to ask but how one should behave.
The key is to actually pay back everything in agreed timescale.
If the person doesn't pay you back - don't ever borrow or decide that it's a gift and not a loan at the point they ask. Sometimes when it's your family you may still want to support them even though you know they will never be able to pay the money back.
I don't necessarily think that asking, by itself, is wrong. If someone asks I'd think there's the chance they're assume the single mother might be able to afford to lend the money. People don't always have any idea of how much money someone else has or doesn't have. Sometimes, too, someone who very much feels he'd "do the same for you" may have that kind of thinking when he asks (and assumes you don't mind if he at least asks, and also assumes you'd simply say "no" if you're able to do it).
To me, what's wrong (even if they believe they can and will pay you back) is that you're not being paid back. They may not plan not to be able to pay it back, and they may have every intention of paying you back when they can. Their mistake may well be in assuming they're getting money from somewhere (or else not having some new, unexpected, expense pop up) when they can't be 100% that all will go as planned.
Then again, though, if you lent money to people with the idea that they'd pay you back, I think you're perfectly right to draw the line (and maybe even explain to them that you can't afford to "give" them the money if you're not sure you will be paid back "within x amount of time").
Sometimes, maybe, people are just so desperate that they figure there's no harm in asking anyone close to them and anyone they think will understand "how things can be". They might just be "straight-shooters", assume you are too, and figure if you can't lend them the money you'll say "no" (and they'll understand that too). They don't necessarily have to think it's your "responsibility" to lend them money. They may just think that asking someone close for a little help is 1) what a lot of people do, 2) what a lot of people don't mind anyone else doing, and 3) something they're pushed into doing by their own dire circumstances.
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