Gays Falling inlove to women?

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   Melbourne31posted 12 years ago

   Gays falling in love to women? How possible is that?
   
   I have a gay friend and he confessed that he is falling in love with me. that's ironic. What do you think about it?

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      Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You mean a gay man is falling in love with a woman?   You haven't given much information, but apparently it indicates that sexuality is a choice, and he's finally learning to make the right choice.

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         janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Or just that he is bi.

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            Brenda Durhamposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            You mean greedy?   Could be.

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               janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               No, i meant bisexual. Not republican.

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                  Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Janesix,
                  
                  I do not know. We've been friends for 8 years and I was just shocked when he suddenly told me about that. It's really ironic. Now he is busy sending me flowers, etc... Gosh!

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                     janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Well, honey, either you like him or you dont.

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                        Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        I am comfortable when I am with him. that's all. Do you think, he'll change if I will accept his offer?

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                           janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                           Change how?

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                              Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                              Not now. I mean, we cannot force people to change immediately. maybe someday. But shall I give him a chance?

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                                 janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                 If you mean change his sexual orientation, i really doubt it. Like i said, he's probably bisexual, not homosexual.
                                 
                                 But would that really matter in your relationship? All that should matter is whether or not he treats you well.

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                                    Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                    Is that so? you know, I'm afraid to risk. I wonder how our relationship would turn out if I will accept him. Anyway, I'm still thinking about it, weighing the possibilities. Thanks for your advice and opinion. Happy to hear something from you.

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                                       janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                       

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                              Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                              Not now. I mean, we cannot force people to change immediately. But shall I give him a chance?

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                           tohimilookposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                           Your friend might have come to the conclusion that gay sex is not so cool.   He is probably having second thoughts.  God might be convicting him of those desires and allowing him to see that it is good to be with people of the opposite sex.  What you must understand also is that he could probably have sexual feelings for both (bisexual).  For the time being I would just be a good friend to him.  Play it safe.  Don't throw caution to the wind.

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                        psycheskinnerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        +1.
                        
                        Words describe what people are, not make them what they are.  And people change.  Apparently he's bi.

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         Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Brenda,
         
         maybe, he is trying to make a right choice. But I still have doubts.  I don't want to destroy our friendship.

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      Mmargie1966posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Love is love.  Lust is a completely different topic.  However, love is love and whether it involves man with man, woman with woman, or man with woman, it is what it is.
      
      Just sayin'

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      noenhulkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      He is  a bisexual.  I have gay friends who falls in love with women and have children but still they choose to be gay. Anyway, what;s wrong with gay falling in love with a woman? Not all gay in love with women became straight.

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   Pearldiverposted 12 years ago

   Have you waited 3 weeks to tell us this? 
   
   
   What do YOUR Outdoor Survival Skills tell you to do in situations like this?
   What difference does someone's sexual preference have to do with a Bear's Taste?

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      janesixposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      At least he finally told us. Otherwise, we may have never known.

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      Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hi pearldiver,
      
      Yes, my question indeed has  nothing to do with my hub article. Why? is it  a requirement to post questions in the forum that is related to your hub? I understand that. You are right.
      
      I waited weeks before I decided to post this question in the forum. The question suddenly appear in my mind and I did not hesitate to post it here in the forums. I actually read a lot of hubs related to this. Look, I'm facing a serious problem here and I do not know what to do. I am hoping that somebody could give me a good advice. Thanks.

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         Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Melbourne, you have to figure out how you feel. You have known this person for 8 years, do you think they are being sincere? You have to decide if this is what you want and if you want to give this a chance.
         
         Personally, I would be confused too. I have a gay friend but I know he is bisexual and he has made passes at me but I never take him seriously. On the other hand I find my gay friends to be really honest and caring, more so than my heterosexual friends so if one of them falls for me I would not ignore it.
         
         Open up to him and tell him how you feel. Talk it through and ask all the questions that are on your mind. Tell him how confused you are and ask him what changed or what made him want to be with you.
         
         It could be that he was confused about his sexuality before and that he was experimenting with his feelings of attraction to the same sex. Then he  fell for you. It could also be that he was bisexual all along and now you are his current love. We here on HP cannot give you definitive answers, that you have to figure out.
         
         Oh, and ignore the criticisms.

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            Gergposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Cardisa's response is excellent and really the only useful advice here.  This isn't really about what he is or isn't.  It's about what you want and feel.  And that's internal, not external (HP).  I recommend some time alone to reflect, meditate, pray, whatever is meaningful to you.

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   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   I have had gay male friends my whole life and one thing I can tell you is if he's really gay and sexually attracted to males, even if he thinks he's in love with you and he may well care very deeply for you, you're never going to satisfy that sexual need in him. Eventually, he's going to want another man. I've seen it time and again. I have gay friends I've known since I was still a teen living in San Francisco who went on to live with or marry women and even fathered children, but it never lasts.
   
   Of course he could just be bi. My first husband was bi and he enjoyed both male and female lovers.  He may just also be confused about your friendship. You've known him for 8 years, so you must know him pretty well by now. Why is he "suddenly" in love with you? Your actions now could end up costing you the loss of your friend. If you're not in love with him or not ready to cope with sharing your life with a gay male and all that entails, don't encourage his infatuation, even if it is flattering to you.

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   libby1970posted 12 years ago

   I wouldn't do this if I were you! If he's a good friend, keep him as only a good friend. He has mixed sexual preferences right now. I don't think it would be good at all. Plus--you could destroy your good friendship if you try and it doesn't work out. Keep him as a friend.

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      Melbourne31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      libby,
      Yes. I'm considering that idea. I don't want to ruin our friendship. But I have to wait the right time to tell him..

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   Cheeky Girlposted 12 years ago

   The fact that he is bisexual or bicurious is apparent. Lots of men happily marry women and have children -  despite being gay. I know guys who did it. They did it because the trusted the woman.
   
   They trusted the woman because she was either kind and understanding and non-judgemental... or because she was a "safe bet". Like a safe harbour in the "storm" so to speak. Trust me, it happens. Some gay guys are very trusting more of women than guys. The woman can understand the emotional side of it more than most guys could.
   
   Don't freak out over him being fond of you or even romantically liking you. Keep it real. Don't jump into a relationship with your eyes closed. This is not going to be a situation where you end up in a relationship with a gay guy and are oblivious to his sexuality.
   
   But you need to lay down some rules if things get physical. Because one strong possibility is, the $50,000 question from him at some point - "mind if I bring a guy along the next time". Lay down some clear boundaries. And if the physical thing is a no-go area, then be clear about saying it.
   
   What is to stop him deciding at some point in the future that he does like guys more after all?

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