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Married Couples Sleeping In Separate Bedrooms

Updated on August 15, 2015

Married Life

Being brought up within a heavy catholic tradition, the marital bedroom along with the conjugal bed was part of my idea for a perfect marriage. I used to see with horror and sadness those couples who no longer shared a bedroom and had separate beds. With time, my views on the matter have changed and as I have met more and more couples who have healthy and loving marriages and do not share the same bedroom I decided to explore the reasons behind it.

Why would you want to sleep in separate bedrooms?

  • For a better sleep. Sharing a bed with someone who snores, has restless legs, takes all the covers, brings work or food to bed and watches the TV until early hours in the morning is not easy to say the least. 40% of people who sleep in different bedrooms do so because their partner snores. To have a good night sleep is not only essential for a person’s wellbeing, but it can also reduce the daily tensions in a couple. A person who has had a refreshing good night sleep is ready to face the day in a good mood and cope better with the little problems of everyday life.

  • To break the routine. Having separate rooms allows the couple to be in need for each other making the time together more enjoyable. Think about it… you are in your room all alone and you are in the mood for love, it is not just a matter of going to your partner’s room and having a “quickie”. No; you start thinking about the scenarios, how to invite your partner to your room or how to make him invite you to his room. You prepare yourself for the encounter: you bathe, shave, cream, perfume… it becomes like a date where you want to look your best to leave a long lasting impression.
  • To recover some of the freedom of being single. Having your own space can work wonders for your self esteem. Having your own room is not only a form of independence but I would say that it is a luxury that you are allowing yourself. Having your own private space you can recover your own self as you don’t need to think about the other person when you are there. If you like red and he likes black and you compromised in decorating your bedroom in green, having your own room brings both persons the independence of expressing themselves according to their own taste. Having your private space at home can be very relaxing. Respecting each other’s taste on decorating their own room is also a form of love.
  • To love each other because you want to not because you have to. Having separate rooms to sleep together is no longer an obligation, it is a pleasure. You sleep with your partner because you want to and there is not better aphrodisiac than to feel wanted.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, 23 percent of respondents to its Sleep in America poll who were married or living with someone, sleep in a separate bed or on the couch.

Are you married or in a long relationship? If yes,

Do you share the same bedroom and bed with your partner?

See results

TV, Lucy and Ricky were always shown in separate beds in “I Love Lucy” despite being married offscreen, as well as on it.

The Secret To A Happy Marriage, Separate Bedrooms.

The Disadvantage

The major disadvantage of sleeping in separate rooms is that your spontaneous sexual encounters disappear. Not longer you can take advantage of those unexpected “pokes” in the middle of the night.

Having separate rooms is not for every couple but for some it can bring a lot of satisfaction and a stronger relationship.

Married But Sleeping In Separate Beds


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