- Gender and Relationships»
The Road That Leads To Your Heart: A Short Story
It’s been ten years since I last saw you, twenty years since last I danced with you, and thirty years since we first met. But no, Reba, I’m not counting. I’m only reflecting. As time went by, I stayed the same. As you moved out and moved on, I stayed “home”, just as my heart, clinging ever after to the possibility that you and I had a shot—that we had a chance to be with one another. I thought to move on, I really did. I thought to find love thereafter in someone else, to seek happiness where once there was so much of, where now there is so little of. But maybe I was under your spell and so couldn’t commit to another. Maybe I was in love with being in love with you.
So after all these years, I’m no more the wiser than I was back then, albeit ten, twenty, or thirty years ago. The only thing that I’ve learned is that being in love with someone is a promise I cannot break, an emotion I cannot shake, and a feeling I cannot fake. And if I know you like I think I do, then I just made you smile. How I wish could see your smile once again. In my mind’s eye, I see your smile and so can’t help but to smile myself.
I must confess to you that I went out to look for you. I did some searching and researching and finally found you after all these many years and found your hyphenated name. After much deliberation, I thought to come and see you, because I needed to, because my heart told me to, because after you know someone for as long as the two of us have, you and I will never be strangers to each other, no matter where we go or who we end up marrying. Even after seeing all of the evidence in front of me, I had to know, Reba, I had to be sure. My heart insisted that I do and with that said, I listened to the urges of my heart and went to see you after so many years.
In driving out to see you to surprise you, I had nothing but good intentions. I bought you a bouquet of crimson roses not because it was Valentine’s Day, but because they were your favorite. The entire way I thought about all the times two of us shared, throughout the years, having dated our other peers around us. There was that dance back when the two of us were only kids, with not a care in the world. But that night changed everything didn’t it? That was the only time my entire life that I ever felt perfect.
Your house wasn’t difficult to find with the help of my GPS. But it wasn’t my GPS that found you initially. The road that leads to your heart is invisible to the naked eye, but not to me and not to my imagination. I’m letting my feelings find you, through the snow and sleet of the New England winter through miles and miles of asphalt road that would lead me back to you. And in getting closer and closer to you, I can’t help to become excited by the notion of seeing your smile once again, of your golden blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes that compliment your smile. I imagined you crying out to me, “Oh my God! It’s been so long!” just before the two of us embrace once again—reunited again for the first time in a very long time. And in doing so, my thoughts and feelings would hum the words, You did the right thing. You did it.
But that’s not what happened.
What happened instead wasn’t what I expected at all, because just as I was getting out of my car to walk over to your house I saw you and a beautiful little girl who had your eyes and your hair. You were helping her to get into your Volvo that was parked in your driveway. As far as I was, I was still able to see the ring that was on your finger. This little girl said to you,
“Do we have to go, mommy? I don’t really want to go!”
“Yes sweetie, we do. It’s very important that we do. We made a promise, remember?”
You then did something that for all my days I won’t ever forget: You wiped away a tear from your daughter’s cheek and then gave her kiss. It was like something out of a movie only much more believable.
Just then, the snow had turned into rain. Where once I was comfortable with the weather, I suddenly began to get very cold. When you turned to look in my direction, I hid behind my car, like a coward and made sure that I was out of sight. After you had this little girl all fastened to her car seat, you closed the door and got inside. The two of you seemed to be in a hurry to make good on your promise—whatever that may have been, as you then backed straight out of your driveway and drove right pass me without looking at me. While standing there with your saddened bouquet in both my hands, my thoughts went into overdrive. This time, it wasn’t my heart that was doing all the talking:
What the hell were you thinking anyway? Did you really think that she was going to just drop everything in her life, leaving her husband and daughter and just run off with you to the Cayman Islands, dumb ass? Was that your plan?
With no one else around me that I knew of, I said out loud, “What the hell am I doing here?” I looked around me to search for a trash can to throw away your roses but then thought better of it. When I no longer had an answer, I then got back into my car and drove away.
My heart was silenced by everything. Not ever before had I felt so ugly or felt ashamed of almost doing something that I first thought was right. I had become something of a monster, Reba, and for that I apologize. So maybe it was a good thing that we didn’t see each other that day, I don’t know. I’m sure that if your neighbors saw me they grew very suspicious of the guy that was ducking behind his car when you looked over. I’m the guy that’s afraid of little girls I guess.
Until this day, I still have your bouquet of crimson roses, Reba. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them. I thought about throwing them away dozens of times but just didn’t have the courage to do so. I think that a part of me just can’t bear to see such a thing tossed to the side to die in the cold. Perhaps I want to keep your roses fresh and alive for you for when the two of us see each other again, as impossible as that sounds. I just know that we’re going to see each other again some day, so when that time does come, I’ll be ready to hand them to you. I hope your roses don’t ever die, Reba.
With All My Love,
Now, if I know my readers well enough, I’m guessing that they (or you, lol) have a lot of questions that need answering and so by supplying this commentary, I hope that I can answer at least some of them. First off, my going to visit Reba Ashkar did not happen. This story is fictional, just not entirely. I've thought of doing so, but didn’t because I think that she is indeed happily married. The last thing I'd want to do is to cause any kind of conflict with her and her husband.
I’m not sure whether or not she has a
daughter or a son, but I’m guessing that she does as she loves children. How do I know this? Because her and I were camp counselors in New Hampshire for three
summers and absolutely loved our jobs.
This story is solely dedicated to her, Reba Ashkar, my first love. I wrote another story called “First Crush: Reba
Ashkar: A Short Story" and a non-fictional piece titled “Unrequited Love: The
One That Got Away.” Both are about her
and so are dedicated to her. "If I Had Wings" also makes mention of Reba as well.
If you haven’t already, please listen to or watch the video I’ve included as it is the exact same song I heard during the last summer her and I saw each other. It means a lot to me that you do as it compliments this story perfectly. Listen to the lyrics and you’ll know why.
I really do hope that this hub is acceptable as a HubMob Hub. If not, I’ll be sure to be hearing from Princessa very soon!
P.S. Thank you for reading this story as I’ve been meaning to write it for awhile now. By the way, I don’t condone cyber-stalking or any kind of stalking for that matter! I hope that you enjoyed reading this.
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