From Satanist to Salvation Part Two Human Sacrifice
During this time I lived in Northern California, I lived a double, or maybe a triple life! I learned how to ride horses, shoot a gun real well, worked cattle and traveled with the California Cowboys Association as a freelance Photographer (life # one cowboy). I also grew a “plantation” of highly potent weed that I would smuggle down to L.A. in bulk (life # two, Drug Dealer/smuggler). Since I lived on 80-archer ranch in very small town (population fifty-eight in 1975-1977), it was easy to practice witchcraft without many people knowing about it (life # three, Satanist).
Coming back to the city after the life I lived was difficult, but this is were all my high school friends, a lot of them in Satanism lived. Besides the Occult, I was also deeply involved in the Music Industry for I was starting to become known as Lyricist after I became a finalist in the American Song Feast that was quite a prestigious contest during the late 70’s. My roommate was a guitarist who was also a writer for a Trade Magazine called Music Connection. My life consisted of Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, which fit real well with being a Satanist. I started hanging out with Rock Stars and want to be Rock Stars and spending my evenings at an Occult bookstore were all kinds Occultist and New Age followers lurked. It is here that I learned to read Taro Cards.
The strange thing is that Robert and I had Christian friends who seem to look at us like a sort of Novelty, to them this was just a faze we were going though. In the mean time, we really knew how to party! My father was clueless to the life style I was living and yet, my Mother on the other hand knew I was involved in something dark and mysterious. Mothers always know don’t they?
I helped Robert build his church that evolved into a “collective” belief system. We wanted to create or own brand of Black Magic. Our interest had already started to go in slightly different directions. Robert was mainly drawn towards Ceremonial Magic practiced by Alaster Crowley and “The Golden Dawn” which was a British underground Ceremonial Magic “Order” which was at its peak back in the late nineteen and early twentieth Century. It still exist today, and is connected to the Free Masons. While I leaned towards “Shamanistic or “Nature Religions” and also incorporated the teachings of Carlos Castaneda.
Most of our “congregation” was just thrill seekers who came and went with the wind. However, Robert, myself and a woman I will call “Lilith” (which was here Satanic name), were hardcore. We were constantly looking for ways to make our selves more powerful. After much correspondence, we were able to meet some of the founding members of The Church of Satan and other prominent Satanic Orders of that time.
Eventfully we got invited to gatherings and even a Black Mass. We participated in Voodoo Ceremonies and other Spiritual movements. After all, this was L.A. area in the late seventies! Like I mentioned before, Robert had an apartment on the second floor of the Mortuary he work at and it was the perfect location to build a Ritual Chamber were we performed our rites.
Those were some strange times and it was not long before things got intensely radical. Psychic attacks became pare for the course and we accepted it as kind of the price of admission into the world of the unknown. I got quite adept at calling demons and I use to get a kick out of “showing them off” to people. My face would actually become distorted and take on a demonic form. To Robert, it was just “paler Tricks.” He was more interested in controlling a persons will and getting them to do what he wanted.
Then one day Robert announced that, he was joining the army! I did not see that coming at all! Before he left, I started intensifying my study and taking control of the leadership of our “church.” Then two things happened that changed the course of things even more. Robert committed a robbery that he tried to frame me for! Then, Lilith and my self suffered a psychic attack that endangered our very lives. It happened when we were in a secluded area setting up for a ritual. I felt a strong urge to walk down a path that had a fork on it. I told Lilith that she had to decide what path she wanted to follow. This is very symbolic for Satanism is known as “The left hand Path.”
It was then that we were attacked by something that tried to strangle us and it did not stop until we left the area. This did it for Lilith; she quit the practice and suddenly became a Christian! She refused to even see me. I was devastated, every thing was falling apart!
In Satanism, one is trained to take retaliation for any offence. For most of the “Principals” of Satanism are reverse of Christian practices. However, if I was going to “hex” Robert, then I had to accept the outcome and not fill any remorse or regrets. Satanist discipline themselves to not succumb to any emotion UNTIL they perform a ritual, then they UNLEASH EVERYTHING THEY GOT! Primal Scream Therapy to the extreme!
Any kind of sacrifice either animal or human is strictly forbidden in LaVay’s Satanism. At least physically taking a life however, there is a form of ritual known as Destruction ritual. This would be done if someone did an offence against you that you thought was “worthy” of performing such a right. It was a ritual that was not taken lightly, for in theory it could kill. The concept was that you collected some DNA of the person who you wanted to harm, like hair or fingernails. Usually, clay dolls were made (voodoo dolls as some call them). These images would be used to represent your attended victim.
Looking back on it all, I am now amazed that I would take such drastic steps towards someone who was at the time my best friend! The only explanation I have for it is that shows how callous I had become for it was like a knee jerk reaction. In Satanism, there is no concept of forgiveness it is in many ways a very immature religion.
Around the same time, my Satanic life was in turmoil my music started to take off. For me and a composer I was working with, was offered a deal with a small label to do a single. It just so happened that the Record Company was located in Denver. My music partner at the time was originally from Boulder Colorado, so he decided to move back home, so it seem like a no brainier that is were I would move. It was about six months after I moved I learned that Robert was murdered in Germany while on leave from the Army! Now the question is, would he had been murdered if I never did the ritual? To that I would haft to say only God knows.
After Robert’s death I did become a little spooked, however I had become a Power Junky. I now know that all the power I thought I had was just an illusion. Satan is the Father of lies!
My story does not end at that time, for it was years before I actually accepted Christ as my personal Savor. In fact, the process took over thirty years! I continued my interest in witchcraft even though I “toned it down some” by practicing Wicca and other forms of Paganism. I studied both Western and Eastern philosophies and at one time in my life I even vowed to kill my self, if I discovered that Christianity was in fact true! That is how much I hated Christianity! So how did I come except Christ as my Lord and Savor? Like I said, it was a long process and one that could fill about a dozen hubs. However, I will cut to the chase in my next Hub!