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From Satanist to Salvation Part Two Human Sacrifice

Updated on January 30, 2018

During this time I lived in Northern California, I lived a double, or maybe a triple life! I learned how to ride horses, shoot a gun real well, worked cattle and traveled with the California Cowboys Association as a freelance Photographer (life # one cowboy). I also grew a “plantation” of highly potent weed that I would smuggle down to L.A. in bulk (life # two, Drug Dealer/smuggler). Since I lived on 80-archer ranch in very small town (population fifty-eight in 1975-1977), it was easy to practice witchcraft without many people knowing about it (life # three, Satanist).

Coming back to the city after the life I lived was difficult, but this is were all my high school friends, a lot of them in Satanism lived. Besides the Occult, I was also deeply involved in the Music Industry for I was starting to become known as Lyricist after I became a finalist in the American Song Feast that was quite a prestigious contest during the late 70’s. My roommate was a guitarist who was also a writer for a Trade Magazine called Music Connection. My life consisted of Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, which fit real well with being a Satanist. I started hanging out with Rock Stars and want to be Rock Stars and spending my evenings at an Occult bookstore were all kinds Occultist and New Age followers lurked. It is here that I learned to read Taro Cards.

The strange thing is that Robert and I had Christian friends who seem to look at us like a sort of Novelty, to them this was just a faze we were going though. In the mean time, we really knew how to party! My father was clueless to the life style I was living and yet, my Mother on the other hand knew I was involved in something dark and mysterious. Mothers always know don’t they?

I helped Robert build his church that evolved into a “collective” belief system. We wanted to create or own brand of Black Magic. Our interest had already started to go in slightly different directions. Robert was mainly drawn towards Ceremonial Magic practiced by Alaster Crowley and “The Golden Dawn” which was a British underground Ceremonial Magic “Order” which was at its peak back in the late nineteen and early twentieth Century. It still exist today, and is connected to the Free Masons. While I leaned towards “Shamanistic or “Nature Religions” and also incorporated the teachings of Carlos Castaneda.

Most of our “congregation” was just thrill seekers who came and went with the wind. However, Robert, myself and a woman I will call “Lilith” (which was here Satanic name), were hardcore. We were constantly looking for ways to make our selves more powerful. After much correspondence, we were able to meet some of the founding members of The Church of Satan and other prominent Satanic Orders of that time.

Eventfully we got invited to gatherings and even a Black Mass. We participated in Voodoo Ceremonies and other Spiritual movements. After all, this was L.A. area in the late seventies! Like I mentioned before, Robert had an apartment on the second floor of the Mortuary he work at and it was the perfect location to build a Ritual Chamber were we performed our rites.

Those were some strange times and it was not long before things got intensely radical. Psychic attacks became pare for the course and we accepted it as kind of the price of admission into the world of the unknown. I got quite adept at calling demons and I use to get a kick out of “showing them off” to people. My face would actually become distorted and take on a demonic form. To Robert, it was just “paler Tricks.” He was more interested in controlling a persons will and getting them to do what he wanted.

Then one day Robert announced that, he was joining the army! I did not see that coming at all! Before he left, I started intensifying my study and taking control of the leadership of our “church.” Then two things happened that changed the course of things even more. Robert committed a robbery that he tried to frame me for! Then, Lilith and my self suffered a psychic attack that endangered our very lives. It happened when we were in a secluded area setting up for a ritual. I felt a strong urge to walk down a path that had a fork on it. I told Lilith that she had to decide what path she wanted to follow. This is very symbolic for Satanism is known as “The left hand Path.”

It was then that we were attacked by something that tried to strangle us and it did not stop until we left the area. This did it for Lilith; she quit the practice and suddenly became a Christian! She refused to even see me. I was devastated, every thing was falling apart!

In Satanism, one is trained to take retaliation for any offence. For most of the “Principals” of Satanism are reverse of Christian practices. However, if I was going to “hex” Robert, then I had to accept the outcome and not fill any remorse or regrets. Satanist discipline themselves to not succumb to any emotion UNTIL they perform a ritual, then they UNLEASH EVERYTHING THEY GOT! Primal Scream Therapy to the extreme!

Any kind of sacrifice either animal or human is strictly forbidden in LaVay’s Satanism. At least physically taking a life however, there is a form of ritual known as Destruction ritual. This would be done if someone did an offence against you that you thought was “worthy” of performing such a right. It was a ritual that was not taken lightly, for in theory it could kill. The concept was that you collected some DNA of the person who you wanted to harm, like hair or fingernails. Usually, clay dolls were made (voodoo dolls as some call them). These images would be used to represent your attended victim.

Looking back on it all, I am now amazed that I would take such drastic steps towards someone who was at the time my best friend! The only explanation I have for it is that shows how callous I had become for it was like a knee jerk reaction. In Satanism, there is no concept of forgiveness it is in many ways a very immature religion.

Around the same time, my Satanic life was in turmoil my music started to take off. For me and a composer I was working with, was offered a deal with a small label to do a single. It just so happened that the Record Company was located in Denver. My music partner at the time was originally from Boulder Colorado, so he decided to move back home, so it seem like a no brainier that is were I would move. It was about six months after I moved I learned that Robert was murdered in Germany while on leave from the Army! Now the question is, would he had been murdered if I never did the ritual? To that I would haft to say only God knows.

After Robert’s death I did become a little spooked, however I had become a Power Junky. I now know that all the power I thought I had was just an illusion. Satan is the Father of lies!

My story does not end at that time, for it was years before I actually accepted Christ as my personal Savor. In fact, the process took over thirty years! I continued my interest in witchcraft even though I “toned it down some” by practicing Wicca and other forms of Paganism. I studied both Western and Eastern philosophies and at one time in my life I even vowed to kill my self, if I discovered that Christianity was in fact true! That is how much I hated Christianity! So how did I come except Christ as my Lord and Savor? Like I said, it was a long process and one that could fill about a dozen hubs. However, I will cut to the chase in my next Hub!

This video takes the view that many of Satanist did. Anton, "The Black Pope" was also a deciple of Crowley


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    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 5 years ago from Savannah GA.

      I do not grave power like I use to...But love my fellow men? Now that is a hard one, and only though God can I do that!

    • profile image

      Englishrose 5 years ago

      I admire your candid comments. Enjoy being a lamb of god. The reason you crave power over other men is because you are made t feel inferior by them. Once you fine the inner peace to not care what the fuck does satan have to do with what's happening on earth he is in the shadows waiting for all of us in our insecurities. LEARN TO LOVE YOUR FELLOW MAN EVEN THE ANNOYING SHIT XX

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 7 years ago from Savannah GA.

      I have also "read a lot about it" and this is the lie that satan wants every one to buy! This is how it is and has been marketed to the young for centuries! I am now working on my hub about "Lucifer and all his works" which may sed even more "light" on this subject!

    • Trish_M profile image

      Tricia Mason 7 years ago from The English Midlands

      I think that the human mind has trouble dealing with what we term 'the occult'.

      Personally, the term 'Satanism' does worry me, but my son has read a lot about it, and has assured me that it is not about worshiping the devil, or loving evil, or anything like that.

      I think that a lot depends on the person, his behaviour and 'where he is' emotionally, at the time.

      Either way, I prefer to leave the occult alone, but I know that it holds a fascination for young people.

    • magnoliazz profile image

      magnoliazz 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      I am back to vote this hub up again!

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 7 years ago from Savannah GA.

      I have now published a hub called Christmas Demons and Devils that I feel is important subject for this time of year. However, it took me longer than I thought it would for it now is the 21 first of December.

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 7 years ago from Savannah GA.

      Nighthag- after much prayer I decided to change the title. I am not sure what the name will be, I have several hubs and magazine articles that I am working on, so it may take a while.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      I look forward to reading it, its such a dangerous subject but if anyone I've met can do it right it will be you... be safe yourself ((hugs))

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 7 years ago from Savannah GA.

      Hello is always a pleasure to hear from you! I will be adding a a new hub on the subject That will go into how to protect yourself from demonic forces and other important information. Things like how to avoid opening a door to Satan. It will be called Demons I have Known. It will not give the names of the more dangerus demons, instead it give the different catagories of demons, and the dangers of contacting them!

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      As always i find your honesty amazing and refreshing, your words i believe are inspired, will be reading more

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 7 years ago from Savannah GA.

      Yea you do not need to watch those videos, however like I say in other hubs...Satan can be really sneaky and hide in plane site!

    • Annie Bows profile image

      Annie Bows 7 years ago from Everywhere USA

      This is very interesting, and I admire you being so open about your past. But I didn't watch the video. I guess I don't need to understand satanism to know I don't want anything to do with it.

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 8 years ago from Savannah GA.

      All I can say is that I do not fell it promote Satanism, but instead shows the childish and selfishness of this belief system. However, I will remove the Destruction Ritual.

    • magnoliazz profile image

      magnoliazz 8 years ago from Wisconsin

      You know you should really consider taking down some of the YouTube videos that have Satanic rituals in them, it could give some people the wrong ideas! You just never know how people are going to take things...being a Christain I find them offensive too. They worship and condone Satan.

    • magnoliazz profile image

      magnoliazz 8 years ago from Wisconsin

      You really need to write that book, it could help a lot of people turn back to God.

      They say that big cities and towns are just full of Satanists..I thought that was a lot of hype...before I read this hub! My goodness, this is pretty scary, it would make an excellent book.

      Of all your friends that were involved with the Satanist religion in the 70s, how many are still alive today? If they are alive, what are their lives like? You should write a hub about that!

      You must have had someone very close to God praying for you! Satan had you in his grip and still you managed to get out alive. You are soooo lucky, and this happened only through the grace of God!

    • Artin2010 profile image

      Artin2010 8 years ago from Northwestern Florida, Gulfcoast

      What an awesome testimony dude! I am glad to hear that you've come to your senses! I am going to guess that there was some kind of revelation that brought you out of the darkness that you called life for a while. Look to the Light of Truth, Jesus Christ !!! The One God IS mighty to save. Always remember that we are all merely human here and capable of many things. Be Blessed and remember always to thank the Lord for bringing you out of insanity!

    • aguasilver profile image

      John Harper 8 years ago from Malaga, Spain

      Still reading, glad you got part two out, looking forward to part three.

      Thanks,keep on shining light into darkness.


    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 8 years ago from Savannah GA.

      YES! Myownworld, not only was I involved I was a priest of my own church. I know I have left a lot out and I do plan to write a book..AFTER I finish "The Howling Heart" which IS a Metaphor for my Satanic Practice. It has taken a log time to even bring myself to talk about this in has been a wild ride! Thanks for reading Rope! The next one will be the hardest and the LONGEST hub I will write on the subject! Please be patient for this MAY take awhile!

    • The Rope profile image

      The Rope 8 years ago from SE US

      Ahwww...I'm waiting... LOL. Fun read though, just wish you had the other one ready to go right behind this one.

    • myownworld profile image

      myownworld 8 years ago from uk

      omg...all this is just mind blowing! Were you really involved in a Satanic cult? It's like a first hand knowledge into it's practices such as you won't find in any book! Great hub...keep going!


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