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Talking To God....

Updated on May 3, 2017
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I say out loud what others only think. I take great pleasure in expressing the hard core truth about awkward situations at Misscue.Hubpages.

Mork From Ork talking to Orson

Switching To Megaphone To Talk To God

Dear G.O.D.,

Hi! Ya, It's me again. So, I've prayed to you, I've written to you...

Next I think I will use my megaphone. Cause it occurred to me that your hearing aid might be out of batteries. Duh, it has been a few thousand years...

Of course you may be having difficulty hearing me over all the other voices. It must be a lot to hear everybody at the same time!

You ever get the feeling that we are just an experiment in somebody's laboratory?
You ever get the feeling that we are just an experiment in somebody's laboratory?


On that note.. I was wondering, and I wanted to ask you...Oh, "Greatest Of Designers" (G.O.D.)...

Why are there more than, 10,000 references in Your book, pertaining to 'You' in plural form? I was under the impression that you were One and Only Omnipotent.... "The Man".

However...when looking a bit deeper into Your Book, I get a feeling that there are a bunch of members of the "G.O.D."

I can already hear it. When You arrive at the Pearly Gates after being gone for a while...

There's the 'Guard On Duty' (G.O.D.) posted at his post at the "Giver of Data" (G.O.D.) Tower, to greet You at the "Gates of Divinity". (G.O.D.), or rather the front entrance.

To God

Return to Sender
Return to Sender | Source

The Guard Speaks

"Credentials, Sir? I see, Sir. These are current, Sir?"

"Says here You are a member of the "Guardians of Destiny". (G.O.D.)! "

"They sure have been around for centuries."

"I see... You've been traveling for quite some time, Sir? 2000 years Sir!!! "

"Pardon me for saying so, but You don't look a day over 1800."

"Alright Sir. Everything appears to be in order. You may enter, Sir. Have a nice millennium, Sir, and welcome back home."

"Oh, and Sir? Your fellow Members of the "Grand Order of Design", (G.O.D) are expecting to meet at the "Garden of Delight" (G.O.D.) for Your most current "Global Operations Discovery"." (G.O.D.)"

"Sir, Thank you,"

"You too, Sir. Welcome home, Sir".

"And do give my regards to the Members of the "Grand Omnipotent Divinity". (G.O.D.)"

In Retrospect..

But, speculating here... and this is what I'm thinking...Mind you, it's just a personal theory of mine.....but.....Perhaps You are somewhat of a gambling man.

Maybe this is what happened...... It was Your Imminence that won a bet against Your peers and the prize was "Control of Earth", with a 2000 year lease on the planet, along with the humans; an all inclusive package deal....

Am I even close to being correct? Hhmmmm, No Surprise...

...all I get is SILENCE!!!

No Bad Days
No Bad Days

No Response????? AGAIN!!!

Anyways, where was I before I rudely interrupted myself? lol

Oh, right...

One reason that I'm thinking that You, Galactic Olympian Deity, have a bunch of buddies with You up there in Never-Never-Land is because I read something curious in Your book.

You specifically instruct us, Your followers, to refer to You as the "TrueGod" among false gods.

The first of the ten commandments states:

“You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3), or “no other gods besides me.” Although your written theology forces us to have two true Gods in John 1:1.

Ohhhhh, I'm soooo confused.....Sir Guide Of Deception! Guardian of DaTruth. There is one sure fire way that we can clear this whole mess up....You know, 'Giver of Difficulty'?



So, when You were mentioning the lesser Gods', I suppose that included the Devil. I'm sure Beelzebub had his hand in things there too. Was Satan trying to get some of the credit but You were hogging all the glory?

You just royally burned him on that one!! Ironic! Get it? Burned him... No wonder he's so bitter.

As Always...

...respectfully, in awe....but still I wonder...

Anyways, thanks for the talk. I suppose I did get a bit more insight into this confusing subject of religion.

Now, I suppose I may tackle politics next. I wonder if Mr & Mrs. President are home this evening?

Gotta go now. Oprah's on TV! Same bat time, same bat channel...Manana, K?


P.S. Nanu Nanu

P.P.S.... Boxers or Briefs?

© 2012 Helen Kramer


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