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Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz - And My Four Agreements

Updated on March 30, 2010

Once in a while I like to stop and take a break from managing our business, cooking, doing household chores, answering emails, writing or whatever comes up at the moment, and reflect on where I am in my journey in life, not necessarily on the outside, but where I am in relationship to myself. Recently, I asked myself after remembering Don Miguel Ruiz's four codes of living (which I share at the end of this article), what is important to me? What guides me in my day to day living from the inside out? And this is what I came up with:

1. Integrity. Being true to myself and being truthful with others; once one has integrity as the foundation of one's life, everything flows from that foundation.

Interweaving with integrity would be, being real. The person you see behind the words of everything I write, or the person you meet face to face is simply "Marie", no pretenses, not interested in projecting an image, or have anyone pretend for my sake. I love to meet people who are real. Reason why I appreciate a few of the hubbers here; I have met people online who are so genuine that when I met them offline, there were no surprises.

Recommended reading: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

2. Letting go of attachments, leads to having the ability to remain cool, calm and collected, or "C.C.C.", as a co-worker tried to teach me in the past, during my volatile years, where I would react without thinking first and fly off the handle. Problem was, I didn't understand then, that in order to have a state of equanimity, I had to let go of attachments or expectations; it is our attachments, such as the attachment of being right in a petty argument, or wanting someone, a spouse for example, to behave in a certain way, or cling to what is no longer working for us, such as a dead end or stressful job, is what causes suffering. My partner and I get along beautifully, but we are different; he is a nature loving man and I am a city girl; oh, how I love the city and its lights, diverse cultures, fine cuisine, while he loves the critters, the trees and his cabin in the woods; yet neither one tries to change the other, and without this pressure on each other, we have merged both our worlds.

3. Going with the flow... there are goals and experiences in life, we may have an influence on (or think we do), but in general I am starting to learn that trusting and stepping out of the way, allows for me to live from inspiration as opposed to handling my life only from the logical side of my brain, which often keeps one's mind going in circles trying to figure out solutions that sometimes can keep one trapped. When I want to make a change or accomplish a goal, I give it plenty of thought if it calls for it, but then I usually release it to the Source/God/Divine, whatever we may wish to call this Consciousness, and when the answer comes, I act on it, well most of the time. I am still a work in progress. Hey, no attachment, I am doing the best I can. 


4. And above all, be Love... and harm no one. In a planet filled with humans with ego running amok which Eckart Tolle often points out, there may be the human being who will cross our path and test us, but living in a world within that is a day to day expression of love, for self and for life, pretty much balances out the challenges that may come now and then into our space. Every experience we have is an opportunity to ask ourselves, why its there. I am not a Ghandi or Mother Theresa, when someone crosses me, I still may get angry and be direct, but the need to get even or put the person down is not there, so the memory or attachment pretty much fades away for me.

Its all simple...we each have our unique codes for living without having to pause and ponder, but once we take the time to reflect, its interesting to know what drives us in life, as it gives us a snapshot of our inner world, not to judge but to understand why we have the life we are experiencing, and where we are are now in understanding.

What are your agreements?


The Four Agreements® By Don Miguel Ruiz

1: Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Check out Don Miguel Ruiz's website for more inspiration!

Don Miguel Ruiz Four Agreements


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    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Hi, Mickey: I agree. There are many man made rules and interprations of what should or shouldn't be done. To me the basics are what works for me. Thanks for adding your comments.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      There are so many "rules" and "proposals", so many theocracies, but the Four Agreements can say it all or most of what is necessary.

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Fallbrookbetty: Your comment " Love is the strongest emotion we own and can cure broken spirits and heal pain if we bring love into our lives", are words of wisdom and so true. I see Love as energy that can do miracles.

      Money Glitch: I had no idea the interview was published today until you mentioned it and went back to check my mailbox. We didn't have cable for most of the day, so my computer access was limited today. I am touched by your kind words, thank you so much for sharing your light with me! :)

      Thank you both for reading and adding your comments!

    • Money Glitch profile image

      Money Glitch 

      9 years ago from Texas

      This is a great hub, and a very appropriate place for me to express how much joy your interview for the HP newsletter has given me. I was already a fan, but through your willingness to share the limelight with others; I've found other great Hubbers that have provided enlightenment as well. VioletSun, thanks so much for sharing insight and your journey. Namaste!

    • fallbrookbetty profile image


      9 years ago from Fallbrook

      Thank you VioletSun, your words have really touched me today. I loved reading the Four Agreements, and I totally believe in them. You are so right when you talk about living our lives in love. Love is the strongest emotion we own and can cure broken spirits and heal pain if we bring love into our lives. You are truely inspirational and hope to read more of your Hubs. Have a beautiful day and a blessed Holiday Season. Fallbrookbetty

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Hi, Philip: I encourage you to get it. Its a small book filled with wisdom.

    • profile image

      philip carey 61 

      9 years ago

      I keep hearing good reviews of that book. I need to get a copy.

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Hi, TKIMWRSVC: Thanks for reading and commenting. I would love to be able to write a book like Don Miguel's and inspire so many! :)

    • TKIMWRSVC profile image


      9 years ago from United States

      I love this book. Long time fan and I touch on it as well. Thank You a lot

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Hi, sixtyorso: Thanks for your comments! Its wonderful how these four agreements have been around for years, and how if we stop and think, we know what are our codes for living are (or not).

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 

      10 years ago from South Africa

      Really wonderul inspirational hub. I particularly enjoyed the wisdom embodied in the four agreements.

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Hi, Karen: I used to keep them in my office at work and often co-workers would also read them.

    • Karen Ellis profile image

      Karen Ellis 

      10 years ago from Central Oregon

      I copied the four agreements. I'm putting them next to my computer. They are good reflections to contemplate.

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Cailin: Wondeful! If my hub encourages someone to read the Four Agreements, I think I may have done my job of inspiring. :)

      Pam: I know you are going through tremendous stress with your job, and I have had the supervisor from hell during my banking years, so I can relate, and yet in the midst of your stress you still willing to implement the namaste and spiritual approaches, and this is great! It will balance things for you, not get pulled down by those who test you. Namaste!

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Dottie: I wish you and your daughter the best of luck as she starts her new life. It is indeed a blessing.

      Robie: I used to have the four agreements taped to the wall next to my desk while at work and dealing with different personalities, and yes its not always easy to implement. I have found however, when I see one of these spiritual or psychological roadmaps works for me, such as not having too much attachment, I will tend to implement it more and more.. the key is seeing it work for us so its not just a conceptual thing.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Beautiful, Marie. I have been working on Namaste--greeting the divinity in everyone with the divinity in me. It's hard because some people (my supervisor for example) really put me to the test. I have noticed though that it's the tests that stretch and help me, not so much the smooth going times. So, I figure, I'm supposed to learn something from her. Thank you for another lovely and thoughtful hub. Your gentle spirit comes through everything you write. Namaste!

    • Cailin Gallagher profile image

      Cailin Gallagher 

      10 years ago from New England

      Beautiful hub VioletSun. I'll have to read The Four Agreements.

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 

      10 years ago from Central New Jersey

      I love The Four Agreements--I read it years ago and am so glad to see you writing about this wonderful book here. I recommend it to anyone. It's a wonderful spiritual roadmap--but as usual with these things--simple and profound but not easy to implement. Thanks so much for a wonderful hub VS.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      A nice hub VioletSun. A reminder for me in the midst of my daughters prom, graduation and preparation for college to stay centered. I am working to enjoy every moment with her during this hectic time.

    • VioletSun profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Oh, wonderful Rodney... like your screen name "just rodney. :) Thank you for your comments.

    • Just_Rodney profile image

      Rodney Fagan 

      10 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

      Excelent hub that was another finds when I need it at this moment.


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