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Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz - And My Four Agreements

Updated on March 30, 2010

Once in a while I like to stop and take a break from managing our business, cooking, doing household chores, answering emails, writing or whatever comes up at the moment, and reflect on where I am in my journey in life, not necessarily on the outside, but where I am in relationship to myself. Recently, I asked myself after remembering Don Miguel Ruiz's four codes of living (which I share at the end of this article), what is important to me? What guides me in my day to day living from the inside out? And this is what I came up with:

1. Integrity. Being true to myself and being truthful with others; once one has integrity as the foundation of one's life, everything flows from that foundation.

Interweaving with integrity would be, being real. The person you see behind the words of everything I write, or the person you meet face to face is simply "Marie", no pretenses, not interested in projecting an image, or have anyone pretend for my sake. I love to meet people who are real. Reason why I appreciate a few of the hubbers here; I have met people online who are so genuine that when I met them offline, there were no surprises.

Recommended reading: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

2. Letting go of attachments, leads to having the ability to remain cool, calm and collected, or "C.C.C.", as a co-worker tried to teach me in the past, during my volatile years, where I would react without thinking first and fly off the handle. Problem was, I didn't understand then, that in order to have a state of equanimity, I had to let go of attachments or expectations; it is our attachments, such as the attachment of being right in a petty argument, or wanting someone, a spouse for example, to behave in a certain way, or cling to what is no longer working for us, such as a dead end or stressful job, is what causes suffering. My partner and I get along beautifully, but we are different; he is a nature loving man and I am a city girl; oh, how I love the city and its lights, diverse cultures, fine cuisine, while he loves the critters, the trees and his cabin in the woods; yet neither one tries to change the other, and without this pressure on each other, we have merged both our worlds.

3. Going with the flow... there are goals and experiences in life, we may have an influence on (or think we do), but in general I am starting to learn that trusting and stepping out of the way, allows for me to live from inspiration as opposed to handling my life only from the logical side of my brain, which often keeps one's mind going in circles trying to figure out solutions that sometimes can keep one trapped. When I want to make a change or accomplish a goal, I give it plenty of thought if it calls for it, but then I usually release it to the Source/God/Divine, whatever we may wish to call this Consciousness, and when the answer comes, I act on it, well most of the time. I am still a work in progress. Hey, no attachment, I am doing the best I can. 


4. And above all, be Love... and harm no one. In a planet filled with humans with ego running amok which Eckart Tolle often points out, there may be the human being who will cross our path and test us, but living in a world within that is a day to day expression of love, for self and for life, pretty much balances out the challenges that may come now and then into our space. Every experience we have is an opportunity to ask ourselves, why its there. I am not a Ghandi or Mother Theresa, when someone crosses me, I still may get angry and be direct, but the need to get even or put the person down is not there, so the memory or attachment pretty much fades away for me.

Its all simple...we each have our unique codes for living without having to pause and ponder, but once we take the time to reflect, its interesting to know what drives us in life, as it gives us a snapshot of our inner world, not to judge but to understand why we have the life we are experiencing, and where we are are now in understanding.

What are your agreements?


The Four Agreements® By Don Miguel Ruiz

1: Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Check out Don Miguel Ruiz's website for more inspiration!

Don Miguel Ruiz Four Agreements


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