A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"
They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car."Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
I hear this before and still think it is funny.
haha that's funny :-)
Do you believe in forgiveness? You said that you do on your hub about it.
gOOD ONE, sIR d
Sorry, Caps Lock!
cute, never heard that before.
At the Wedding
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Pastor painting church
It seems that there was a little old church out in the countryside: painted white and with a high steeple.
One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he went into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out to the church and began the job.
He got done with the first side. It was looking great. But he noticed he had already used a half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town and being the creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner in the shed out back, and began to thin his paint.
It worked out great. He finished the remaining three sides with that last half gallon of paint.
That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he stepped outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that the first side was looking great, but that the paint on the other three sides had washed away.
The pastor looked up in sky in anguish and cried out, "What shall I do?"
A voice came back from the heavens saying, "Repaint, and thin no more!"
OK, here's one: But to understand it, you have to know that in Scotland the "wee free" are the Free Presbyterian Church of Scotland - a very strict Calvinist outfit mostly found in the outer islands.
A "wee free" minister, received a visit from a church elder, Andrew. The talk went like this:
Minister> Sit ye doon Andra. Will ye have a cup of tea?
Andrew> No, thank ye, Minister, I'll not be needing tea.
Minister> But ye'll no' mind if I have a cup to myself?
Andrew> Well, in that case, I will take a cup with ye.
Minister> Ye'll no' make yerself a liar in this house!
A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to GOD, U.S.A., they decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy $5.00. Mr. President thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to the little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to GOD that read: "Dear God, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those devils deducted $95.00.
You crack me up!!!!
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