Who or What is Your King-Pin?
In the logging world, sometimes the logs become crossed and cause a jam; the men look for the log causing the jam (they call it the King-Pin), straighten it, and the logs rush down the river again.
In Life, there may be a person or self limatation that is your King-Pin. I guess the Straightening it Out and letting your Life Potental rush down the River of Life is what it's All About.
And so, I am going to fess up and say right now, that damn log is my feeling of my advanced age giving me a feeling of just treading water. But damn it, I know where I can but some TNT.........!
Whatever stops me from having life go the way it should (for someone with my particular river and logs) are the logs other people have thrown into my river. I know a lot of people don't believe anyone else ever has the power to throw logs into anyone else's river, but they do. (An example is having no choice but to go with something done in the court system. Another example is someone causes problems in our lives, fights acknowledging blame and removing the logs they threw into our river, and then maybe even keeps throwing more logs in as a way of our moving forward with our aim to get things straightened out. So, I don't really have any log that's my own doing/thinking, or at least the does more than cause the occasional, minor, "issue".
With regard to age, I won't let myself feel, or be, older than I already am by allowing my age to be the cause of it. I assume I'll live to be at least 100. If it turns out I don't - then, "oopsie!", I'll be shocked and surprised to discover the end is coming closer than I'd expected. I've dealt with shock and surprise in the past. If there's no warning, I won't be anything but someone who hasn't allowed age to be a "log".
I feel as young as I've felt, and I'm not going to let anyone else define what my age means. When I've found myself appearing to head down the "age/log" road I tell myself to knock it off. It's a waste of time and it's a "mental-energy-sucking", counter-productive, way to think. Basically, I don't plan to feel dead before I really am.
Something to keep in mind is that being more aware of death, thinking about it, or feeling as if one is close to dying can be signs of depression. Since what's really exhaustion from stress can look (maybe be) similar to depression; sometimes the real root of a problem isn't something like age, itself; or "having a less than great attitude" about it; but, instead, the kind of thinking that has resulted from depression or exhaustion from too much stress. In other words, maybe that log you see where there's a jam isn't really a log. Maybe, instead, it's a bunch of other, smaller, debris that build up and just looks like a log. (I don't imagine anything I've said here amount to that TNT you need, but I thought I'd give it a shot.)
Lisa...Thanks for the response. I agree that the way one thinks is influenced by numerous conditions of the mind. The mind is influenced by what we perceive as activities in our own universe. If I see myself aging, it is primarily because of physical feedback from my body. I have very little negative input from someone else's universe concerning my aging, so I must therefore assume as I look and feel my physical body aging, it is from a point of view of myself compared to myself and some prior time and place.
Now what I do to either accept this comparison or try to change the comparison, is the real final goal, I believe.
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