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Beatrice and Eugenie

Updated on May 21, 2012

Allrighty, the wedding is over and peace and goodwill to all things royal can now be brushed aside as commentators get on with the post-mortem bitchfest over who was wearing what. Of course, despite my republican protests all week, I did watch the wedding. I was merely passing by the television set when I stopped for a quick glance and yes, three hours later I emerged having sat through the whole thing. I had temporarily become a monarchist again. Even I, a hardened cynic toward any kind of media circus, am forced to admit that it's perfectly true what everyone's been saying - "the British do this sort of thing so well". beautiful did Westminster Abbey look? How sublime was the dress? Weren't the trumpeters an impressive touch? Wasn't the carriage stupendous...and the horses were so regal, were they not? And I did like the Queen's yellow outfit..didn't you? It went so well with the gold embrodidery on Williaims jacket. Oh yes, the outfits were lovely...

All morning, during the parade of priviliged poseurs walking up the cat walk-like red carpet, wearing their colouful plumage, commentators had made consistantly flattering squeaks about Davina Featherstone-Finches "elegant, tasteful dress" or Lady Cameron Blaskell's "not-too-big-just-right-sized hat",....yet when Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie emerged from their car there was a rather polite silence....broken only by the sound of a fatal fashion error dropping on the ground and a blandly pleasant "and there's the young Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie" from the tactfully quiet commentator. Beatrice and Eugenie...what can you say about those two? Well a picture speaks a thousand words...

If this was a mistake, Im sure it was a one-off
If this was a mistake, Im sure it was a one-off
Hmmm....Beatrice and Eugenie at someone else's wedding
Hmmm....Beatrice and Eugenie at someone else's wedding

In the Genes

Was Beatrice wearing too much make-up? Well who am I too say and if I have doubts that they're ever going to fit into any delicate glass slippers during their reign as professional princesses, it would be unkind to mention it. Which reminds me, where was Fergie? Not invited apparently but come to think about it, I don't remember even seeing Andrew there. Of course he must have been..I just didn't notice him. I do recall that during the show on the channel I was watching, the station provided a delightful montage of all the balcony kisses that occurred since televised Royal weddings began, yet the Royal smooch of Andrew and Fergie was omitted. Why? What kind of mean revisionism is this...?

The media have always had it in for Fergie, sadly a fashion fatality herself, and now I suspect this public fashion faux pas by her daughters will seal their public fate in the same way. So what if their tastes run more toward daring than discreet? Does it matter that Beatrice appeared to be wearing something deeply ludicrous by that darling of the horse and hound set, Phillip Treacy, on her head? Or that Eugenie's outfit looked like it could have been purchased from a regional ladies wear shop...and old stock at that? Who makes the rules on these things anyway? Personally, I can't even imagine the kind of confidence required to even contemplate wearing a hat like that.

Unfortunately not all commentators have my deep sense of compassion and the claws are already out and scratching even before William and Kate have had a chance to consumate their vows. The girl's outfits have been controversial and I fear this will prove a divisive topic. Evidently there's already a Facebook group (filling up rapidly) with the insulting title Princess Beatrice's Ridiculous Hat and inevitably criticisms, some couched in thinly veiled politeness, are appearing all over the tabloids and websites. Some examples:

The York princesses need a fashion intervention as quickly as possible - both in terms of clothing and in makeup. The consumptive eye makeup was truly nasty - Pop Sugar

Leading the way in the fashion faux pas were Princess Eugenie and Beatrice, who chose bravely but perhaps unwisely judging by the response of royal fans and pundits.The girls are known to love experimenting with fashion, but perhaps today wasn't the time-Daily Mail

Has Beatrice and Eugenie inherited Fergies bad taste in clothes? For two pretty girls with the pick of the cream of the fashion world, why do they always get it wrong?-Mail Online

Who'd be a Royal?

No resemblance there at all
No resemblance there at all


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