How many software engineers does it take to put in a light bulb? None, it is a hardware problem
I don't know if this counts but...
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When Windows 95/2 came out my friend changed the little Microsoft "helper" to say " Do you want to try to fix this yourself, or would you like windows to f**k it up for you?"
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer were riding together in a car when the car started running funny. They got out and started trying to troubleshoot what was wrong. The mechanical engineer said, "There must be trouble with the transmission, check the oil level." The electrical engineer said, "There must be a problem with the battery, check the terminals." The Microsoft engineer said, "Close the windows, turn the car off, wait a minute then turn it on again, it should be fine."
A computer scientist is walking along when he meets a frog that speaks to him. The frog says, "i'm really a princess, kiss me and i'll turn into one" The computer scientist picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. a few minutes later, the frog says, "i really am a princess, kiss me and i'll turn into one and i'll stay with you for a week!" the computer scientist pulls the frog out of his pocket, looks at it, smiles and puts it back in his pocket. a few minutes after that the frog speaks again. "I'm a princess! just kiss me and i'll turn into one and i'll stay with you for ever!" The computer scientist takes the frog out of his pocket and says "i'm a computer scientist, i don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cooool!"
Great thread I have one.
Why are computers dangerous?
Because they have mega bites!
Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a refrigerator repairman.
There are none so blind as those who have been in an accident at a fertilizer plant.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
this is green, why do you put your cellphone in a vibrating mode inside your pocket and you always tingle when it vibrate??
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
There's not half the files there used to be, And there's a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
All this stuff I missed out on in my blue-collar career. Sigh. Excuse me while I open up a wrist or two......
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't
10 in binary = 2
I put a screen saver on my first Mac way, way back...
It was funnier in the 90's.
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Take a break from politics and religion, just share a joke.
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I have been using Microsoft OS since the days of MS DOS and there was no UI. When Windows 3.1 came out I thought that was quite a unique change and it made me not have to remember all those command codes. Then Windows...
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