How many software engineers does it take to put in a light bulb? None, it is a hardware problem
I don't know if this counts but...
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When Windows 95/2 came out my friend changed the little Microsoft "helper" to say " Do you want to try to fix this yourself, or would you like windows to f**k it up for you?"
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer were riding together in a car when the car started running funny. They got out and started trying to troubleshoot what was wrong. The mechanical engineer said, "There must be trouble with the transmission, check the oil level." The electrical engineer said, "There must be a problem with the battery, check the terminals." The Microsoft engineer said, "Close the windows, turn the car off, wait a minute then turn it on again, it should be fine."
A computer scientist is walking along when he meets a frog that speaks to him. The frog says, "i'm really a princess, kiss me and i'll turn into one" The computer scientist picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. a few minutes later, the frog says, "i really am a princess, kiss me and i'll turn into one and i'll stay with you for a week!" the computer scientist pulls the frog out of his pocket, looks at it, smiles and puts it back in his pocket. a few minutes after that the frog speaks again. "I'm a princess! just kiss me and i'll turn into one and i'll stay with you for ever!" The computer scientist takes the frog out of his pocket and says "i'm a computer scientist, i don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cooool!"
Great thread I have one.
Why are computers dangerous?
Because they have mega bites!
Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a refrigerator repairman.
There are none so blind as those who have been in an accident at a fertilizer plant.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
this is green, why do you put your cellphone in a vibrating mode inside your pocket and you always tingle when it vibrate??
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
There's not half the files there used to be, And there's a milestone hanging over me The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
All this stuff I missed out on in my blue-collar career. Sigh. Excuse me while I open up a wrist or two......
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't
10 in binary = 2
I put a screen saver on my first Mac way, way back...
It was funnier in the 90's.
by aka-dj 14 years ago
Just for a different twist on all these "discussions". I believe He is the greatest scientist of all time (and beyond). He not only put everything here, but made all the rules/laws by which "scientists" deny Him (and His very existance). Physicall laws, chemical laws, gravity,...
by Ron Montgomery 11 years ago
Take a break from politics and religion, just share a joke.
by Jacqueline Williamson BBA MPA MS 8 years ago
I am excited about all the latest technology that has become apparent in the 21st century. This is especially true about tablets! From the introduction of the Ipad in 2010 the evolution of tablets has become more and more like laptops that I begin to wonder who really needs one. Tablets are...
by Stacie L 7 years ago
(BTW,there is not windows 10 subheading.)I am noticing that my window7 os is slowing down, and freezing up lately. it happens that the upgrade to window 10 popup is also reminding me more and more. The ie11 browser is not functioning as well as firefox. Anyone see this happening to their...
by sunstreeks 14 years ago
I use the internet with Firefox. All other websites seem to load just fine, my internet connection is pretty fast, but Hubpages is getting increasingly slower for me. Also, the picture and text problem with not saving when working on a hub is still an issue. I add a picture, upload, put in a...
by Kylyssa Shay 7 years ago
So I've been getting the Windows 10 pop-ups for the last several months and I've been clicking the "no thanks" button on every one. This morning, I wiggled my trackball to wake my PC from sleep mode and fracking Windows 10 had installed itself and only needed me to press the accept or...
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