Collection of the Funniest Requests Made On HubPages: Part III

I am at it again!! Here is round three of the funniest and stupidest requests made on HubPages. Some of these make no sense to me, and some are just too funny not to tackle. I hope you enjoy reading this third installment as much as I enjoyed writing it! It is just too much fun not to do this every now and then.

What not to do in front of children:

Well, if you have to ask this question, then maybe you just shouldn't have children. I guess I will answer it anyway. There are a lot of things you shouldn't do in front of children; like make crystal meth, yet, some people still do it. Sex...having sex is another thing you shouldn't do in front of children. It messes with their heads. You can tell them that you are exercising, but really, kids today are not that stupid. Basically, don't do anything in front of your kids that you wouldn't do out in public. Oh, and never, ever do anything fun in front of your children! They may want to join in and have fun, too. If kids think you like to have fun, they might want to have fun, too. That would be bad. How's that??

How to astral project:

Ummm...let's see...first, you have to travel to the magical world of unicorns and magic beans. After that, climb the misty mountain to find a wise, old wizard, and he should be able to give you some pointers. I think their might be a magic ball involved, or maybe some potion, or something. I'm not really sure on the details. I do know that it will be a lot of work, so you might be better off just driving, or walking, to wherever you need to go. Besides, if you astral project, you can't really do anything once you get there. Being just a spirit, and all.

Why is it so hard to like Heather Mills?:

Really?? You have to ask this question?? I thought it was obvious, but whatever. It's hard to like her because she married one of the best musicians ever, and then divorced him and took a bunch of his money! She is a hateful woman, and there is no reason to like her. Personally, I think anyone who sees her should be allowed to throw rotten apples at her. And, for those of you that think I should have sympathy for her because she is missing a leg...well, who cares?? Is it my fault she has a missing leg? Does that make what she did any less terrible?

How many hours a day we can watch television?:

Do I look like your mother? Seriously? Do I?? I don't think it's really up to me to decide how many hours a day you watch television. Do whatever the heck you want!! If I was your mother, however, I would take a way your television until you can learn to put together a sentence. "No TV until you finish your homework" was one popular mantra of my mother. That and "If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudding? How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" It wasn't until I was older that I got the reference to Pink Floyd. Looking back, my parents were pretty cool!!!

hai it is a gopod hub:

Ummm...what? What's a gopod? Is it an adjective describing a hub? If I take out the 'p', it says good hub. Are you asking for a good hub? My best guess as to the request is, "Hey, let's go to the pub!" Well, that sounds like a great idea!! I will meet you there at 8pm CST!! First round is on you!

Sir, Danish here:

First off, I am a woman, so please do not address me as sir. Ma'am would be fine, but I prefer if you just use my name. Such formalities are not necessary, but thank you for the sign of respect, just the same. Second, I really don't understand. Are you Danish? Or, are you a Danish? If it is the former, good for you!! I have great respect for the Danes, and the Danish culture. If it is the later, and you are, in fact, a pastry. Please, find your way to my house. I love danish!! Especially with strawberry! It's great for breakfast with a nice cup of coffee!! Thank you!

Say mom what really brought down Flight 1549:

OK. "Mom what really brought down Flight 1549." Is that all? Is there anything else you need? I hope that helps you in some way. Have a nice day. If you are asking me a question...I guess I have to respond, though, as I stated before, I am not your mom. As to what really brought down Flight 1549...well, I have no idea. Google it like everyone else.

A love hub:

I believe this was already covered quite nicely in a previous HubMob, but I will do my best. I love Hubs! I love HubPages! I love to write! I love to Hub! Love, love, love....love, love, love...all you need is love. Love makes the world go round. Love is a many splendored thing.

add me a will add me im in middle scholl and i make a's b's:

What?? I don't get it. Is this some kind of joke? How do you make A's and B's in middle school when you can't even spell school?? No capitalization, no punctuation. When I was in middle school, we had to spell correctly, and use proper punctuation and capitalization. You are obviously lying. I can't stand liars!! So, I will not be adding you.

Who cares that i love to collect all brand bags n leather??? but the main topic is, should i waste all my money just for all this brandy bags???:

Who is Brandy? Why do you want to buy her bags? What's with all the extra question marks??? Thank you for pointing out what the main topic should be. I appreciate that. Should you waste all your money just for all this brandy bags? My answer would be, sure, why not? Why bother with food, or anything else when you can buy Brandy's bags. I guess she doesn't need them anymore.

nasarurahman@yahoo.com,nasarurahman@yahoo.com,nasarurahman@yahoo.com:

I guess someone really wanted their email address out there, and who am I to stand in their way? I don't know how this translates into a quality Hub, but wow, that is a hard email address to remember. I don't understand why they had to include it three times in the request, or what they are really after, but hey, that's the fun of it, isn't it? nasarurahman@yahoo.com, whoever you are, I hope this answers your request! If not, I really don't care all that much.