More Stupid Questions and Funny Answers

The world is full of silly, silly people. At least, that's the nice way to say it. There are also many people who strike me as funny, though I'm sure it's unintentional. These people abound on the internet.

There is a section on HubPages (this website) called Questions where users can ask questions or request topics that they would like writers to answer or discuss.

The Questions section is bursting with humor potential. I try to reach some of that potential. Here are some of the funny and/or stupid questions that I've found, and my answers.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." --Abraham Lincoln

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hi! pls.make a poem name CRISTINA.tnx

Okay, here goes:

CRISTINA

There once was a girl named Cristina

She had friends named Mina and Tina

She wanted to see

A lyric biography

Except nothing rhymes with Cristina


To a guy which is more frightening, Friday the 13th or Feb. 13th? Just curious.

Originally I was looking for stupid requests. But I saw this request, and I have to say, this is a brilliant question. You have to think about it for a second, but when you do, it's hilariously funny. Simple, yet effective. I commend the writer of this request.

And now for my answer. We'll play a few rounds of Which Is Scarier?!?!

To the single man: Which is scarier? Friday the 13th and black kitties? Or February 13th and a lack of titties?

To the taken man: Which is scarier? Friday the 13th and bad vibrations? Or February 13th and Her Expectations?

Things You Shouldn't Do With Your Microwave

Use it as...

  1. Storage for your coin collection, gun rack, or assorted metal items
  2. Tanning bed
  3. Time-out for your child

Wierd and Wackey Facts We DON'T NEED To Know

You asked for it...

Did you know...

That there are hundred of tiny bugs living in your eyelash follicles?

That most people fart 14 times a day?

That most sponges contain more bacteria than most toilets?

These are some of the Wierd and Wackey Facts that we DON'T NEED (and likely DIDN'T WANT) to know.

Is Our Psychical Effects a Girl To Have Sex With You?

I've read this question over and over, trying to decipher what this hubber could possibly mean. I've decided on the most likely choice:

Do Our Bicycles Affect Girls Who Have Sex With You?

Well, if you're having sex on said bicycle, then yes, the type of bicycle will affect the girls you have sex with. For example: the size of the seat, the circumference of the wheels, and the shock absorption of the rubber will all affect her sexual experience.

Parents, are you raising your sons to be men?

Well, I haven't experienced the joys of parenting, but I really want a daughter, so if I have a son, I'll probably raise him to be a woman instead.

What is The Real Truth?

You can't handle the (real) truth.

T-shirt: Ask me how I tolerate stupid questions (image source: www.noisebot.com)
T-shirt: Ask me how I tolerate stupid questions (image source: www.noisebot.com)

how can i make myself fair

Fair1 : Use a lot of makeup.

Fair2 : Get one of those sets of an angel and devil, one for each shoulder like on TV.

What has happened to social etiquitte in the 21st Century?

It went the way of correct spelling in the 21st century.

(I'm sorry, that was mean. I couldn't help it.)

How to get rid of parents in law

You have several options:

  1. Use the obvious option: Hire a hitman.
  2. Have really loud, naked sex in the entryway (although really, what other kinds are there?) when you know they're about to come visit
  3. Put up a sign on your front yard with a picture of them with a big, red X through it

How to add java script to hubpages?

You can't.

Who is the special-one?

Neo. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you meant the chosen one.

Training Bra

You can't train your bra. Your bra trains you.

I Can Has Cheezburger image
I Can Has Cheezburger image

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Comments 23 comments

Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

Excellent!!!! I think, between the two of us, there won't be any stupid requests left...then again...some people...


C.A. Hubberpants profile image

C.A. Hubberpants 7 years ago from HubPages Lounge

This is a wonderful idea and you made a fantastic hub out of it! I was just looking through the requests and saw some of these. I'm so glad you cleared up that bicycle sex thing! LOL! All your answers fit incredibly well, and there's little need for those requests to be answered by anyone else now. :D


artfuldodger profile image

artfuldodger 7 years ago from Earth

Nice. Bicycle sex can indeed be tricky.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I appreciate you taking the times to answer these requests. I worked hard thinking of them.


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Thanks for stopping by, everyone!

Anna: You and I will form a superhero hubber team, fighting the forces of ditziness.

C.A. Hubberpants: Great username, btw. Feel free to join me and Anna. There is never a lack of silly requests.

artfuldodger: Perhaps you could elaborate on that in a hub of your own.

goldentoad: I'm so glad that I could help you out. Your hard work is much appreciated.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

Excellent!! and I only say that when I really wish I had thought of it first. Excellent! I say it again, much to my personal chagrin. :) (Do we have a chagrin smiley?)

OMYgosh-- there was a request right above this asking when kids should start using deodorant.

i say when they smell bad.. but what do I know?


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Thanks, Rochelle. Just wait a few weeks, and the stock of requests will build up again. Then you can do one, too!


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

see my amended commenta above-- you are right.


Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Mama mia, it's difficult to believe some of these are real requests! I dig your options to get rid of parents in law, I think #3 is masterful, actually! Laugh! And the social "etiquitte"? You'd think at least people would pay attention to spelling when posting a request, but why bother, I suppose! Geez, I dig these hubs on requests!


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Hi, Elena, thanks for stopping by! In all fairness, etiquette is a hard word to spell, and he/she only got one letter wrong, but I just couldn't help myself.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

I am already compiling material for my third of these! I keep checking the requests every day, I write some down, it's so much fun!!!


k@ri profile image

k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

Thanks for the laugh!


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Thanks, Anna and k@ri! I saw your new one, Anna, great job!


ocbill profile image

ocbill 7 years ago from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice

very cute stuff..keep it coming.


ProfoundPuns profile image

ProfoundPuns 7 years ago from Maryland, USA Author

Thanks, ocbill. If people keep supplying me with material, I'll keep it coming!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Love it!!! As this hub was a great and wonderful idea. :)


bgamall profile image

bgamall 7 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

I have seen some unusual requests on Hubpages. Great idea to make a hub about it. I hope you get a chance to read my hub about practical jokes. It has to do with a joke I played on my wife. You will get a good laugh.


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

damn this is funnny; thank you so much. I don't usually get to have a good cry like this when I laugh.


druneric profile image

druneric 7 years ago from Ohio

I should have kept reading (and will) the one time I went to those request. The one I read was quite serious in nature even though I did nearly give a flip answer--because I'm like that. Oh! I know! It was the one about whether or not thought is matter. You know, like particle matter? God, I'm suddenly thinking of a dozen hilarious responses.


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

That was friggin hilarious! I don't know how you come up with any answer to those strange request? Love it!

BTW, I don't know if you noticed it this morning but there were two hubbers at each others throat requesting the same damn thing like 10 times in a row each! And I decided to add a request for the hell of it like this...

Why the hell are people posting the same damn request like 10 times?

Later on those 20 some request plus mine were removed! But suprisingly someone answered my request?! I didn't expect a response, I just wanted to make a joke out of it!


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 7 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Absolutelylovedthehub LOL - No really - it was hillarious! Keep 'em coming :D

Can hardly wait for the next installment


ahostagesituation profile image

ahostagesituation 6 years ago

Freaking awesome! Can i borrow that shirt for work tomorrow?


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

Hi ProfoundPuns,

I loved this brilliantly written original hub.

Thank you for sharing with us .

take care.

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