My Humor Needs an Audience!!!

I Will Not Be Ignored!!!

I was going through some of my hubs and realized that I am very funny. Sometimes though, my greatest wit is shown in my comments. I thought I would publish my more humorous comments in one hub so all of my numerous fans do not have to search all over Hubpages to see every word I write (I know you do).

This hub focuses on comments from my own hubs. Later (if I am not flagged for publishing comments), I will put together hubs that focus on comments I made in the forums and on other people's hubs.

From My Hubs

Horror Movies That Don't Suck:

supafly says: There is one big problem...these demons look just like regular human beings. way to give the whole movie away dumbass.

imadork says: Supafly...I did not give away anything. The fact that the demons look like regular humans is not a spoiler. Watch the movie before you call me a dumbass. If you have seen the movie then you need a few more IQ points to understand the movie.


The Hope and the Horror:

jjrubio says: Wow that was very well written as interesting as it was. I was caught off guard about the "passing gas" but hey it pulled me in...=)

imadork says: Thanks jjrubio. A good fart story can rival the works of Shakespeare.


Is Wii Cool? Yeah Man, Wii's Cool.

blowballs says: By the way....you hold the "B" button to hang on to the ball before letting it go in bowling...not the "A" button genius. May wanna correct that on your nintendo-ass-kissing rampage you've posted here Wii Wii sucker.

imadork says: Sorry Blowballs. I will do that for you right now. Damn...and I thought I was a dork. I believe you take the cake. By the way...I would like to see you talk to me like that to my face, pussy.


Bah Humbug!!! The Scrooge Nobody Mentions.

blowballs says: Everyone knows Johnny Depp's Chocolate movie was just fine in it's own respect. He did a great job. Not that it can be compared at all with the original...it is a solid movie on it's own plateau. What's wrong with you? (well, coming from a homosexual who's not into musicals....but then goes and lists a plethora of them that he's in love with, what else can we expect, right?) Damn, I'm mean.

imadork says: Blowballs: EVERYONE knows? You sure are real sure of yourself. A little tip...never say absolutes like that; it makes you look stupid.

PS...Charlie and the Chocolate Factory sucks! Only homos like that version.


Deep Thoughts - by Paris Hilton

Cris A says: are you close friends with her? or do you just happen to be telepathic? or you are indeed Paris trying to be a hubber (can't tell from the avatar though)? LOL

imadork says: I channeled her. Here's how you do it:

Step 1: Clear your mind of everything.

Cris A says: Woooow (drooling)


dana825 says: hahaha this was funny. i can tell you are clearly not into dumbasses like paris hilton.

imadork says: Thanks Dana! Paris is like a Jack-O-Lantern...Nice to look at but not much substance within.


The Truth Behind US Airway Crash on the Hudson:

goldentoad says: Killing me! I hope we can duck them in the future and provide safety for all...

imadork says: Yes Goldentoad. The media seems to be downplaying this. Canadian Geese my ass!!!

(click link above understand the joke)


What Is This Thing?

goldentoad says: man, just stroke your little pet and relax.

imadork says: I'm spanking my monkey as I type. It's hard to spank my monkey one handed.

goldentoad says: I thought it was an Aye-Aye...

imadork says: An aye-aye is a type of monkey I guess. My aye-aye is a bad boy and needs a good spanking every now and then.

goldentoad says: I just wish your aye-aye would quit looking at me.

imadork says: The aye-aye pic on this hub is taken from the net. My aye-aye is missing an eye. I still spank away on that one-eyed aye-aye!


Bret Michaels: Love Eludes the Rockin' Romeo:

sukkran says: hi, great hub. i like it.

imadork says: Thanks Sukkran! My famished ego needs compliments like a tweaking housewife needs a mop and bucket. I appreciate it!


I Have a Man-Crush On Jack Bauer:

snowballs says: Oh.....and by the way, your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation. I think if Jack was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

imadork says: Blow/Snowballs: Thanks for the compliment. If Jack was gay I'd still hang out with him. I wouldn't do anything; just hang out watching tv...maybe with our shirts off, like a couple of bros having a good time.


I'm Gonna Mind Fcuk the Siht Outta You!:

earnestshub says: Very bloody funny! We Australians are not very funny so we put bloody in a sentence like an excaimation mark, hoping that will be funny enough to sound funny. Funny eh?

imadork says: Earnest: Crikey! You sure are a bloke who yabbers alot! Seems like you been hittin' the boozers or bottle-os a bit much! Good onya though with a gutfull of piss and the wobbly boot on. Go take a Pommy shower and if you feel stuffed, beat on the old fella and crash.

More by this Author


Comments 68 comments

mandybeau profile image

mandybeau 7 years ago

Yes You are so funny great HUb

Mandy


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Thank you Mandy. I'm soaking in that compliment as I type. My ego needs a good feeding.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

YOU ARE THE MOST FUNNY GUY ON HUBPAGES, AND I'M GLAD THAT AYE-AYE IS NO LONGER AROUND TO KEEP LOOKIN' AT ME!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I detect sarcasm GT. :-{


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I STOP EVERYTHING I AM DOING IF I SAW A NEW HUB BY IMADORK BECAUSE I KNOW IT WILL ROCK!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

imadork - you are unique - loved this ROFL!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I find no sarcasm in that one GT. Wow, thank you!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Thanks Shalini Kagal.  How is it being named after an exercise that strengthens your love muscles?


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Have I told you you rock? Oh I did? Okay, nice hub then :D


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

hahaha - imadork - the things a woman has to put up with when she gets married!! :D


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I thank you Cris. You kinda inspired me to publish all my rockin' comments. Thanks!!!!!!!!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Kagal: It helps the man too.  It helps strengthen your hard-on, gives you a powerful stream of semen (ropes), and can keep you from dripping piss in your underwear.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Hey you needn't shout it, I'll hear you okay with one "!" okay????

besides I was sent here by Pam Roberson... yes, I'm a male muse so what's funny?


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 7 years ago from Australia

I've seen some of your stuff and it is funny! I'll just have to follow you around now imadork so I don't miss a bit...!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Pam was here and didn't comment?!?! What a bitch!

BTW, I like multiple exclamation points. One just looks pathetic to me.


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Lifebydesign: Wow, I have my first groupie. Cool!!! Now I do rock!!!


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 7 years ago from Australia

Waddya mean? I'll just join the other adoring fans you have. :-)


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

ouch! dork, I guess you don't rock.


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

GT: I believe she means that I have more groupies than just her. That's ok GT, everyone's a little slow on the uptake every now and then (except me).


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

no pam, runs the agency so she just sent me. so be inspired...whatever... 

now don't be green toady, you have your own posse of adoring gramps!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

What agency? The CIA?!?!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I get it. Sorry Pam. You're not a bitch.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Pam Roberson sent me, also. She said to give you a whole bunch of exclamation points. Here ya go: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

That's more like it!!!!!!!


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

Can you bring back the Aye-Aye now? I'm tired of you lookin' at me.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

don't do it dork, what about the groupie?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Get your own aye-aye.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

Pam Roberson told me to follow LifeByDesign around, so I guess I'll have to look at your stuff whether I want to or not.


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 7 years ago from Australia

Cris A what are you on about?


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

LOL CR!!! I think Pam IS in the CIA!!! It's a conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

lifebydesign

i think you should check out imadork's hub on the aye-aye and you'll see what i mean :D


Lifebydesign profile image

Lifebydesign 7 years ago from Australia

Aye


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

You are funny, Iamadork, that's why I became your fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

all this, and modest too.....


Writer Rider 7 years ago

You write some pretty funny stuff Imadork. I wish I was half as witty.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

Hilarious!!!  I am a huge fan!!!!!!  (Lots of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

Ah! It's so wonderful to see that the 'agency' is working like a fine tuned, well oiled machine!!!! And !!!! a few more for good measure. :D

imadork, it's priceless that you put so many of your funny comments on one page. You know I'm a big fan of your humor. Very funny hub here, it's kind of like Reader's Digest condensed version of imadork's best. :)

I'm just sorry that I'm missing so much right now...which reminds me...

Thank you Cris A for sending me a quick link here! My internet sucks right now, so I'm missing all the good stuff. I'm an internetless, hubless bitch. :(

I miss you all! :)


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

Who's betta than you? I'm giving you a standing o right now, except my mom told me to sit down.


MellasViews profile image

MellasViews 7 years ago from Earth

hehe.... thanks for the laughs. ; ) I hope to see more like this one, this was funny. ; )


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Wow!!! You like me, you really like me!!! Ok, where do I start. Oh jeez, I'm not so good at making speeches. Oh man, this thing is heavier than I thought. First, I'd like to thank all the little people......


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

Best Sally Field impersonation ever!!!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Thank you Anna.


dana825 profile image

dana825 7 years ago from Chicago

I'm glad I got included in this!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Dana: I'm glad that your glad.


MamaDragonfly2677 profile image

MamaDragonfly2677 7 years ago from New York

OMG...Your 2 funny! My kids think I'm nuts because I'm laughing hysterically at my puter...Thanks, I needed that!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I'm glad I brightened your morning with laughter.


Blowballs 7 years ago

Oh man...I'm your biggest fan. You're the funniest writer in the world!!! I've read all of your posts at least 10 times each and I die of laughter at everyone of them!! Even the serious ones cause they're just soooooo dammmmmn funny!!! And to think that you even went a step further and did us all the HUGE favor of collecting comments from some of your very own posts to show us even further just how very funny you are. How can we ever repay you for the joy your responses bring to us? I think "real" funny people don't usually comment on their own funniness, but we don't hold that against you at all!! You go girl! Hope this stroked your tiny ego a little more, which by the way is like herpes: just when you'd hoped it was gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. Put on your big girl panties and deal with ego stroke bitch!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Thank you Sam from Idaho...uh, I mean anonymous Blowballs. Maybe I will come to thank you in person.


Blowballs 7 years ago

You're welcome. Come on over. It would be nice to see an old friend. ;) (Damn you!! Glad I don't rigorously insisted upon the rights of anonymity.)


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

Imadork--you're ALWAYS funny. You having an off day today???? :-))


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I'm feeling a little down today Mom. I am a tortured comic that laughs to keep from crying.

Dramatic enough for you? Blah!


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

Laughter is ALWAYS the best medicine!!! Drama is overrated.

Everything okay?


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

As Good As It Gets


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

what has taken a turn for the worse?


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I'm crazy! I don't need a reason to feel down!


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

Pest, looks like the turn is snowballs...no that's not it....blue balls...no...blowballs, that's it.


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I actually know Blowballs. He's an old friend of mine from high school. For some God-forsaken reason he lives in Idaho now.


Pam Roberson profile image

Pam Roberson 7 years ago from Virginia

OH! I'm sorry for calling him blue balls then. :) Sorry blowballs. I'm just a crazy fan trying to protect the object of my fanning.

So do you need to talk? I know you're a tortured artist and all, but I'm here. Sometimes unloading helps.


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

I need to dance. Dancing has a way to bring me out of the funk. There is nothing like getting up and moving to the rhythm of ABBA or Madonna. Dancing is the prescription for life!

It also helps my vagina.


Proud Mom profile image

Proud Mom 7 years ago from USA

pam--:-))

I guess it would have to, imadork.....


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Yes, ABBA did Dancing Queen. To tell you the truth, I hate dancing. I was just trying to be funny.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

keep trying.


Amy G 7 years ago

Very funny hub! What's with that blowballs douchebag? Somebody give him a binky.


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Here's a little known secret Amy...I have known Blowballs for years. He's an old HS friend of mine. Though, at the time of the posted comment, I did not know Blowballs was my friend. I had to do some Sherlock Holmes shit to find that out.

Thanks for reading.


Honorebel profile image

Honorebel 7 years ago from Southern California

LOL funny hub man!


imadork profile image

imadork 7 years ago from St. Peters, MO Author

Thanks Honorebel.


freshlaundry71 profile image

freshlaundry71 5 years ago

That ham looks so perfect it just might be plastic..just sayin!!

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