how can i improve my presentation...
Some general comments
1) There are many diction problems and missing commas. For example:
"Doing exercise daily you will be energetic happy and it will reflect on your face and that’s important."
That is ungrammatical, as this is basically FOUR separate sentences improperly linked together with two "ands". It should be:
"if you exercise daily, you will be happier and more energetic."
There is no need to say "reflect on your face" (it's not light) and no need to say "it's important".
There is also a missing comma between energetic and happy.
2) There are many more problems with diction and sentence structures, and even typographical errors. Example:
"Health is very important for you to look yourself as,as you dreamed off."
It's "dream of", not "dream off"
"yourself" and so on are redundant. It should be
"Health is very important for you to look as you dream of"
And even then it's not proper diction. A better way to put it would be
"Health is very important for you to look your best"
You have plenty of missing commas, run-on sentences, and other grammatical errors in the rest of your hub.
3) The overall presentation is okay, but the Amazon links needs to go, in my opinion. Some choice books on how to frugally achieve "style" or some simple fitness tips and some self-help books may be a better fit than clothing and cosmetic accessories.
Such are my opinions.
- Website Examinerposted 13 years ago
0 - Website Examinerposted 13 years ago0
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