Just curious what you guys think.. I submitted my hub to the writing contest where it's featured as Latest. My points have increase, but I just wanted some feedback if possible.
I know the style of speech is a bit informal and whatnot, but I really like it that way. However, I am open to any and all suggestions. Let me know!
How to Design and Decorate a Starter Apartment.
Looks really impressive. It is always helpful to provide the link, which is allowed on this forum. Hopefully, others will come and comment in-depth:
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Design-a … -Apartment
You are welcome. Since no one has commented, I took another look, and found some problem areas:
- Punctuation. Most of it is OK, but there are rather many places where you have not inserted commas, and sentences are harder to read as a result, such as:
----relationship (COMMA) but it has presented
---- experience (COMMA) but I could easily
----I wanted to avoid (COMMA) so I budgeted
----it bought us time and (COMMA) in the long run, saved us
----We didn’t feel that urgency to buy a couch (COMMA) otherwise we were doomed
-Accuracy of language. I do appreciate your deliberately informal (cool?) style. But for your article to be informative, every sentence has to mean something and be accurate. Sometimes, it appears a bit sloppy, like:
----First is first. (First things first).
----online web sites (online stores / websites - all websites are online, so that is redundant)
----We didn’t feel that urgency to buy a couch otherwise we were doomed (We didn't feel such a strong urgency..., otherwise we would have been doomed)
----emails and texts to one another (emails and text messages...)
----This was a big one for us. We kind of ran into it like little kids in a toy shop. (A big what? What does "kind of" mean? - it doesn't mean anything, so it is redundant)
----Luckily we did not bring our wallets with at first. (Luckily, we did not bring our wallets with us at first).
Overall, it reads well. But you can achieve a much more professional result and interesting read by polishing, tightening and making corrections.
Good luck! W.E.
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