I am looking to improve these two hubs.
If people would be kind enough to let me know how to improve them. Also, if there are similar problems that are in both - please let me know so I can avoid this mistake.
The first being:
And the second:
Could you answer if, in general, a high hub score for an article generally means that the article is well written overall and not simply for HB?
please dont take this badly. I thought the hub on visiting a zoo was very informative and gave a lot of the details a family would need. However, some of the sentence construction was jerky, it did not flow. Occassionally i thought it was going to deteriorate into a spun article and then suddenly it flowed again. In these circumstances I have found that it is good to write, leave, return with a fresh mind. If you have a good friend or relative to proof read they might provide the guidance. I love the topic and think with a bit more work it could be really good
Read the mommy day hub. I agree with CASE that the flow is a bit of problem. The order should be Egyptians, THEN Greek, THEN Roman if you're going chronological. That long proclamation near the end is very out of place. Either cite a small piece or dump it completely. You also need a bit more beginning and end. Even if this is just a little history, there should be intro and conclusion.
I take no offense to any of the comments. I do appreciate them a great deal and will look at them with fresh eyes with your comments in mind.
I went over the zoo one, I saw several areas that were rough and some that just plain didn't make sense. Not sure how I missed them, but I did.
If you would be kind enough to look it over quick and tell me what your opinions of the changes are.
I have not had time to go over the mother's day one yet.
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