Tweaking

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  1. CJ Andrews profile image85
    CJ Andrewsposted 12 years ago

    I am looking to improve these two hubs. 

    If people would be kind enough to let me know how to improve them.  Also, if there are similar problems that are in both - please let me know so I can avoid this mistake.

    The first being:
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Visit-a-Zoo-for-FREE

    And the second:
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Mothers-Day-A-Brief-History

    Could you answer if, in general, a high hub score for an article generally means that the article is well written overall and not simply for HB?

    Much appreciated
    Chris

    1. CASE1WORKER profile image60
      CASE1WORKERposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      please dont take this badly. I thought the hub on visiting a zoo was very informative and gave a lot of the details a family would need. However, some of the sentence construction was jerky, it did not flow. Occassionally i thought it was going to  deteriorate into a spun article and then suddenly it flowed again. In these circumstances I have found that it is good to write, leave, return with a fresh mind. If you have a good friend or relative to proof read they might provide the guidance. I love the topic and think with a bit more work it could be really good

    2. kschang profile image87
      kschangposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Read the mommy day hub. I agree with CASE that the flow is a bit of problem. The order should be Egyptians, THEN Greek, THEN Roman if you're going chronological. That long proclamation near the end is very out of place. Either cite a small piece or dump it completely. You also need a bit more beginning and end. Even if this is just a little history, there should be intro and conclusion.

    3. CJ Andrews profile image85
      CJ Andrewsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I take no offense to any of the comments.  I do appreciate them a great deal and will look at them with fresh eyes with your comments in mind.

      Thanks
      Chris

    4. CJ Andrews profile image85
      CJ Andrewsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I went over the zoo one, I saw several areas that were rough and some that just plain didn't make  sense.  Not sure how I missed them, but I did. 

      If you would be kind enough to look it over quick and tell me what your opinions of the changes are.

      I have not had time to go over the mother's day one yet.

      Thanks again.

 
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