Dumb and Dumber-Don't flick your boogers into the wind, and more unusual laws in the U.S. Part One

Dumb and Dumber… outdated laws in the U.S. Part 1

I would like to thank Tammy L, and Shadesbreath. Tammy gave me the idea for this hub with her comment on my “Burial Rituals to Die For” hub about it being illegal, in Texas, to cuss in the vicinity of a dead person.

Shadesbreath ‘s hub http://hubpages.com/hub/Ten-More-Top-Ten-Most-Asked-Questions-in-the-World gave me the formula to deal with this in what I feel is the best way possible.

This will have to be a series, as there are way too many stupid laws for just one hub. I believe we’ll start with Alabama and work our way through. I thought I would stretch the limits of my imagination and call this hub “Part One”.

I think it’s important our congress and senate come up with 1900 page bills; the loggers need the work.

Since we can’t seem to control our federal bill-makers, I think maybe it’s time we did a little house cleaning at home, in our respective states. First on the agenda- let’s shred some of the old laws and make room for plants. Plants in government buildings are really a necessity. I’m fairly certain our civil servants could use some extra oxygen.

I thought I would throw some of these laws your way, and decide if they should be kept or tossed. You may disagree with me. I’m pretty smart, though, so I doubt that you will.

Let’s begin.

Alabama:

(1) It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache in church that causes laughter.

Commentary/Decision (This actually makes all kinds of sense. We can’t have laughter in church, the hell fire/brimstone service wouldn’t be nearly so frightening if the guy next to you has a fake mustache that keeps falling off.

On the other hand, we might not fall asleep in church nearly so often. This is a tough one. I’m going to have to go with staying awake for the “off to hell with you” sermons. Maybe one day something will sink in. If not, at least church will be more entertaining.) (Toss)

(2) Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

Commentary/Decision (Can you imagine the poor slob who’s working on the railroad track and takes a break for lunch. He pulls out a bag of pretzels and well…that could end poorly. This one should go.) (Toss)

(3) Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Commentary/Decision (I believe in freedom of booger-flipping. If I want to flip my boogers into the wind, against the wind, or just break wind, I should not be hampered from doing so. Toss it guys!) (Toss)

(4) You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Commentary/Decision (I think we can throw this away. I’m not sure what people were doing when they came up with this law, but we now know better than to run up and lick stuff sticking out of a person’s back pocket.) (Toss)

(5) It’s illegal to operate a vehicle while blindfolded.

Commentary/Decision (This probably should stay on the books, I know people who would totally do this all the time if only it were legal.) (Keep)

Alaska:

(1)It is illegal to tie your pet dog to the roof of the car.

Commentary/Decision (Another idiotic law! Rover enjoys the scenery and we don’t have to deal with the doggie drool. Good-bye law, hello doggie luggage rack! Also, I noticed this said, “Pet dog”. Does this mean you can tie stray dogs to the roof of the car? Sweet!) (Toss)

(2)One may not roam the city with bows and arrows.

Commentary/Decision (I’m sure we can all see the ludicrousness of this law. How can a super-hero hope to fight crime without her bows and arrows? ~and pink speedo~ Not to mention all the kids who’s hopes of playing “Indian” will be crushed. Throw it out. Come on. Do it for the kids.) (Toss)

(3) It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

Commentary/Decision (I know a lot of hunters that must be ticked off about this. Everyone knows the best way to get a moose into the sack is to get him drunk.) (T oss)

(4) Owners of flamingos may not let their pets into barbershops.

Commentary/Decision (I’m going to assume this must have been a huge problem at one time, which leads one to wonder about the relationship between the olden-day cowboys and their flamingos. Did they really ride horses, or was it all just a cover up?) (Toss)

And the last one for today…

(5) Persons may not allow “attractive nuisances” to exist.

Commentary/Decision (I have to ask. Does this mean if there’s a hot chick who mows her lawn in her bathing suit, I would have the right to take her out with a sawed off shot gun and a blow torch? I’m just curious. For the sake of Tiffani-next-door maybe this law should go.) (Toss)

Until next time, I hope you all are being law-abiding citizens, except maybe Tiffani’s other female neighbors. We probably shouldn’t make sure she stops existing. Probably .