How to Anger Your Entire Family This Christmas

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Have a Little Fun This Holiday Season...

Maybe you aren't interested in having a merry Christmas this year. Perhaps you are bored with all the standard dinners and polite conversations you'll be having with your family members this holiday season. You are a rebel. You want to spice it up this Christmas. Instead of spreading joy, you want to anger each member of your family. Well, do I have some advice for you!

Naturally, you don't want to completely ruin the holiday season for anyone. It would be a real bummer to totally destroy Christmas. However, it can be a little fun to annoy the crap out of your family once they start getting on your nerves. Some folks are going to be easy to anger; other family members will take a little bit of work. If you listen to some of my suggestions below, surely you will be angering anyone and everyone in no time. Merry Christmas!

Tips on Making Your Family Angry

  1. Announce to your family you are having a Dollar Store Christmas this year. Make sure to purchase one dollar store gift for each person. The weirder the better... of course Grandpa always wanted a pink oven mitt and your 5 year old nephew is totally going to be thrilled with a car air freshener.
  2. If you are sick this Christmas or can fake an illness, make sure to hug and kiss everyone first, but then tell them you are ill. If possible, cough and sneeze as much as you can during Christmas dinner.
  3. Make sure to spend more money on your pets than anyone else this year. When family members arrive at your home, point out the giant cat tree you purchased for Miffy and Biffy that was $300 at Petsmart. Then hand out your dollar store presents to family members.
  4. When your mother announces Aunt Hilda is coming to Christmas dinner, ask her, "Wait, is she still alive? I thought she died 5 years ago?"
  5. Instead of putting the Christmas presents under the tree this year, make the kids work for them as if it is an Easter Egg Hunt. Hide the gifts all over the house and say annoying things like, "You are getting warmer..." or "No, I can't give you a hint..." or "It is a shame you can't find the best gift I hid. Guess you won't get it."
  6. Hand make all of your gifts this year, but without much thought or talent. Use masking tape to put pine cones on Christmas cards; duct tape some fringe on an old scarf to give as a gift.
  7. When everyone starts arriving at your home for Christmas dinner, exclaim, "Hey, no one told me this was going to be an Ugly Sweater Party! Oh, it's not an Ugly Sweater Party... I guess you guys just dress that way."
  8. Make sure to wear antlers on your head with a jingle bell necklace to every single Christmas event you attend this holiday season. Jump around and jingle as much as humanly possible. If you can find one of those red blinking noses to wear, insist everyone call you Rudolph.
  9. If you do not have children, make sure to give the loudest, most obnoxious toys to all your nieces, nephews, and little cousins. Just don't bother to give batteries to the children for the toys until they are walking out the door with their parents.
  10. When entertaining guests this holiday season, start charging everyone $1 to use your bathroom. Make sure to put a padded lock on the door and only unlock it when you get the cash in your hand. Tell everyone you do not accept checks either. This is also an excellent way to make sure no one wears at their welcome in your home.
  11. Bake a lot of delicious Christmas cookies, gingerbread, brownies, cakes, etc. Then eat it in front of all your holiday guests and don't offer them any of it.
  12. Knock over Christmas trees wherever you go. If you can manage to knock over the giant tree at the mall, even better. Just don't tell anyone I told you to do it. You can go to jail by yourself.


Merry Christmas!!!


Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle

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Comments 29 comments

Snurre profile image

Snurre 3 years ago

LOL These are some cool ideas! I'd sure use them if I feel like pissing someone off. Voted up and funny.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks for the votes! I hope you are able to anger anyone getting on your nerves this holiday season. :-)


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

LOLOLOLOLOL....#1 wouldn't make my family angry; that's where we always do our Christmas shopping. :)

Great fun Jeannie!


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

Very funny Jeannie and thanks for giving me a good old fashioned laugh this morning!! Have voted up and shared, too!!


Efficient Admin profile image

Efficient Admin 3 years ago from Charlotte, NC

These are so hilarious, thanks for the chuckle. I especially love #3 - that one would really tick off my clan, because Dad always complains in general that people love their dogs more than people LOL!!!!!! Love it! Voted up and across.


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 3 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

#1 is a good way to save money and if you're inventive enough- you can do it. That being said, I'm sure it will ruffle some feathers. Another classic Jeannie!


lambservant profile image

lambservant 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

LMAO! How about : "When someone walks in with the dreaded green bean casserole say "Oh no! Not the dreaded green bean casserole?"

To the big brother who spent all his life tormenting and bullying you give him a pink tu tu.

For the passive aggressive sister-in-law buy her an article of clothing twice her size and say "Gee I was sure it was your size."

To your condescending step mother buy her a t-shirt that says "I won the man who belonged to another."

We should go on and on. Funny hub.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

billybuc - I always get stocking stuffers, gift bags, calendars, and decorations at the dollar store. My family is thrifty and doesn't really care... just as long as I do get a few things from some place much nicer... like Walmart. :-)

Janine Huldie - I am happy I could give you a good laugh. I needed to give myself a laugh before attempting to string up Christmas lights this morning... that was why I wrote this. Thanks for the vote up and thanks for sharing!

Efficient Admin - I know some people that spend more on their pets than their family members, so I thought it would be funny to include that on the list. Thanks for the votes!

Alecia Murphy - The dollar store is perfect for stocking stuffers. I am amazed at some of the stuff they have for $1 that is $5 everywhere else. I just would not use the dollar store as my only source for Christmas presents. ;-)

Thanks everyone for your kind comments and merry Christmas!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

lambservant - Wow, those are even better ideas... you should totally write a hub about how to specifically target certain family members. That would be awesome. However, I do actually like green bean casserole. :-) Thanks for your comment and great ideas!


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Oh my....these are a riot. They kind of remind of National Lampoon's Christmas movie. There was a woman that I worked with that gave the gifts that she bought from a dollar store ( that were marked down to a quarter) to everyone. It was well intentioned I imagine but a little embarrassing. Some of the things were broken or damaged...it was really kind of sad. She felt like she HAD to give something. She was not a teacher so did not make much money so I sort of understood. My take on the whole thing is...if I can't afford a gift that is not just somet THING then I make a card and give it instead..just me I guess. Didn't mean to take the funny out of this...because I do think this was fun to read and am still chuckling.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am happy you enjoyed the hub. It is terrible that people feel the need to give gifts even if they can't afford them. I find that my co-workers would just prefer something baked... they'll eat anything! Thanks for your comment!


lambservant profile image

lambservant 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Actually Jeannie, I love green bean casserole too, but I know plenty of people who hate it.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

That is so true... there are the green bean casserole haters. The two of us just have really good taste. :-)


dagny roth profile image

dagny roth 3 years ago from Neverland

Love this Jeannie! I laughed out loud especially the duck taped fringe scarf!!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! I am happy you enjoyed it. I considered doing that once when I was frustrated with a knitting project. :-)


ExpectGreatThings profile image

ExpectGreatThings 3 years ago from Illinois

You are hilarious! Thank you for making me laugh. I do hope my in-laws don't see this article, though. We always have plenty of drama with them without jingling antler headbands and ugly sweater comments :)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

There is always someone in the family that can cause drama no matter what. Good luck with that! And thanks for checking out my hub!


randomcreative profile image

randomcreative 3 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

This put a smile on my face! We all need a little humor when dealing with our families for the holidays.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am happy my hub could make you smile. And yes, we do all need a little humor this time of year. Thanks for your comment!


rcrumple profile image

rcrumple 3 years ago from Kentucky

Jeannie - Great ideas! I thing the dollar store gift giving is fantastic. I thing I'm going to brighten up my daughter's Christmas and get her a package of light bulbs! Hilarious read! Great Job!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

That is perfect! Dollar store light bulbs are the gift that keeps on giving! You should add a note with, "You light up my life." :-) Thanks for checking out my hub!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

I love number 10# ooh you are evil! haha! so funny, and yes it sounds like the perfect Christmas to me, then again I have a wicked sense of humor if I get bored at the christmas dinner....! lol! voted up! nell


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Number 10 is also the perfect way to make a little cash to help pay all those bills that come in after Christmas shopping. Thanks for the vote up!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

Hi Jeannie,

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! Happy holidays to you, too!!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Damn...I wish you could have given me some NEW ideas. I hate doing he same things, year after year..........Merry Christmas Jeannie!...UP++


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Hahahaha... I did not realize you were already doing these things year after year. You are inspiration to all of us that like to frustrate family members. :-) Merry Christmas to you, too!


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 3 years ago from Upstate, New York

Oh my friend! How funny and how completely right up my alley these suggestions are! Bravo on a hilarious hub!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much! Now good luck on going out there and angering everyone you know!

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