15 years ago, my ex-husband got unexpectedly deported back to Mexico. I was left alone with our 1 year old daughter at the time. I was working full-time, with rent and bills to pay on my own income. I didn't have any family or friends that could help me babysitting my daughter and I could not afford the extra money to hire one. I had to take her to Mexico to live with her dad until he was able to return, thinking I would see them both again. As it turned out, My ex-husband and I separated. The following year, I went to Mexico to visit my daughter, but had to make a decision to leave her there with her dad and grandmother until I could get back on my feet. I had to do that as that was the best thing for her at the time. I thought I would see her again very soon. I hadn't planned on her father keeping her from me for a few years after that. I could not afford an attorney and at that point could not live with pulling her away from her grandmother who she got very close to, and having a big battle in court. Her dad moved to another state, and left her in Mexico. I couldn't bear the thought of her coming to live with me, when she was happy and well cared for where she was.
A close friend, who did not have children at the time, said to me,"What kind of mother DOES that? Just leave her kid for someone else to raise?" She knew all the circumstances, and all the Hell I went through... and still said this to me. I never said anything to my friend... but I stayed away from her after that. It was sad... This girl was one of my best friends at the time. She still doesn't know how that made me feel to this day. She does have her own children though. I would never say that to her or anyone.