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Death of a Parent

  1. 61
    jimary17posted 8 years ago

    My mother died 9/17/07.  She left a will, trust and a husband besides four children.  I am the oldest.  My sister who is 13 years younger than me is the cotrustee of my mothers estate.  I would have been but I live 6 hours away.  My sister is taking money from my mothers estate, stealing all the furniture in the house and is allowing her daughter and husband and two children live in my mohters house, along with two borders that live in the basement.  I have tried to get a lawyer to help, spent 1800 dollars.  They all said that it was up to my mothers husband to take care of everything. He ran off to Phoenix and my mothers estate is not being taken care of.  Can anyone help!

  2. privateye2500 profile image60
    privateye2500posted 8 years ago

    The one thing that just jumped off this page for me in your post is you said "my mother" -- wasn't she your sister's mother too?

    This kind of thing is far far more common than most people realize until it happens to them.  They lose a loved one and then, wow -- a lot of fighting begins and I have personally seen it completely ruin what was once a great sibling relationship.

    I have told my Own Four children that if they wish to honor me in ANY way after I am gone; it would be to NOT do this kind of thing.

    If your own lawyer told you it is all in your father? or the husbands hands - then...you have to decide...

    get another lawyer, keep spending money; destroy your relationship with your sister (did you have one to begin with?); keep hashing it out for __________ why?  Motive here is KEY.

    Is your sister hurting inside too over the death of both of your Mother ...?

    This is SO SAD -- and SO complicated.

    1. dingdong profile image61
      dingdongposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Valid, yet sensitive point! smile

  3. 0
    jooles01posted 8 years ago

    I'm not sure is co-trustee is the same as executors (who deal with the estate in the UK) but if it is not administered correctly they become personally responsible for errors etc. 
    If there is a large estate then the tax office may need to be involved if money is going missing.
    Also, why aren't the bank accounts frozen until this is all sorter - maybe you could write a letter to the banks involved before this goes any further.  No-one should be removing money until the estate is finalised.

  4. tjmum profile image60
    tjmumposted 8 years ago

    I find it quite sad that after the loss of a parent the major consideration is money. Obviously you must have the same rights as your sister, but even if she is an executor of the estate I thought that everything was frozen and property taken away until the estate is decided upon. That is normally why, when there is a dispute over inheritance, there is never any money left after the lawyers have gone through everything because they take their cut first. You are obviously upset about the money but is it worth losing the remainder of your family over?

  5. pacwriter profile image60
    pacwriterposted 8 years ago

    A decent lawyer can get a judge to review the will and determine if it is being executed as stated. The judge can stop all sales and all spending during the review.